Maqam's Pop Culture Rants

REVIEW: The Grey (2012)

2012-02-05T07:58:00.000-08:00

I was very fortunate to have the (very rare) opportunity to go and see a movie with my future brother-in-law last week. We were both excited at the opportunity, but there was one issue. We were at the end of January, and the selection was limited to say it nicely. After very little deliberation, we decided on The Grey. We didn't know much about it, and I just assumed it was about Liam Neeson kicking wolf ass. Was I correct?

The Good

Although made for very little money, this was a very nice looking and well-directed movie. The cinematography was bleak but very genuine with little CGI apparent. Quite a change from Joe Carnahan's last film, The A-Team (which I will defend until the day I die).
Liam Neeson seems to have found a niche with these action films. He does a great job playing a proper badass.
The violence comes at the audience very quickly and VERY graphic. The movie is all about fear, and it exploits these fears through very realistic and unsettling scenes of violence and death. Intense stuff.
Some GREAT building of suspense throughout as well.
Some people might complain, but I really like the ending. God forbid an action movie make you use your brain a little!

The Bad

Enough with the melodrama! Way too many scenes of people accepting their fates and facing death. Some of these revelations really poured on the cheese as well. LAME!
The film seemed a little too long, especially when it lingered on the aforementioned melodrama. Get on with it!
Although the cinematography may not have relied on CGI, the wolves sure did, and the results were less than fantastic. I would have liked more real wolf footage.
The underlying story following Neeson's character was hackneyed and predictable. I figured out the end of his tale after the first five minutes. 100 minutes later, they attempted to reveal this "twist," hopefully accompanied by audience gasps. I just rolled my eyes.
The balance between death metaphors and wolfy action was not handled well. The transitions between the two were often very jarring.

The end result was a little better than the usual January fare, but still mediocre at best. My advice? Go watch The A-Team! Please?

Rating- 6/10

Getting back to the Oscar race, the next movie on the list will be The Help. Is it really as good as its box office returns lead you to believe? Stay tuned to find out!

REVIEW: Moneyball (2011)

2012-02-01T17:41:00.000-08:00

Even though I'm not a big sports fan (I do live and die by football, but nothing else really) I love sports movies. Who doesn't love a good underdog story? I'm a total sucker for movies like The Blind Side and Invincible, but I get a little queasy around overly saccharine crap like Rudy and Remember the Titans. Then there are the ones that really stand out as masterpieces such as The Natural, Hoosiers and Rocky. Then there's dreck like Any Given Sunday and Ali that never should have seen the light of day.

Moneyball tells the story of how the Oakland A's took a mathematical approach to rebuilding a baseball team. A ballsy (no pun intended) story to try to adapt to film, but with some star power and Oscar-winning screenwriters behind the scenes, why not give it a go?

The Good

Brad Pitt can take even the most predictable sounding role and mold it into a masterful performance. What could have easily been a by-the-numbers character is changed into a superstitious, stressed out and skeptical Billy Beane. Pitt gives the character little nuances and tics to make him seem more human and it results in an unreal performance, easily one of the best of the year.
More kudos goes to Jonah Hill as well! If I hadn't seen Hill in anything but this film, I would never know he built his chops as a comedic actor. He plays the straight man perfectly and even lets himself go a few times (especially when he and Pitt are together in scenes). Congrats to him on a well-deserved Oscar nod.
The story is fascinating, even more so knowing that it is true! Usually when I see a sports movie claim it was "based on a true story" I wince, because it is obvious how many liberties will be taken so that people will see it. This movie did not have that feeling in the least. It had a very deliberate and natural flow, and it demanded you pay attention. Thanks to Aaron Sorkin and Steen Zaillian for writing such a smart and engaging film.

The Bad

With the exception of Scott Hattenburg and David Justice (and the two leads of course), there weren't any other roles that were really fleshed out. It makes it easier to keep track, but a movie of this length could have done with some more characters.
Now that I think about it, even the character of Art Howe (the reluctant A's manager played by Phillip Seymour Hoffman) was relegated to a VERY supporting role. They really had nothing more for him to do? I would consider PSH an actor to waste. Also somewhat wasted in this film? Robin Wright Penn, who we maybe saw for five minutes as Billy's ex-wife.
Although expertly written, I did have some issues with the pacing. Some scenes seemed overly long and pretentious, much like the director's other notable film Capote.

The end result is a throughly engaging film with some dynamite performances and a great original story, something the sports genre desperately needed.

Rating- 8/10

Up next is a break from the Oscar race in the form of Liam Neeson throat punching wolves in The Grey. Look for that review soon, but in the meantime comment if you get the chance!

REVIEW: Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows (2011)

2012-01-31T19:55:00.000-08:00

A word before the review; I really liked Guy Ritchie's 2009 version of Sherlock Holmes. Word was the character was very faithful to his literary counterpart, and Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law had some great chemistry on screen, oddly reminiscent of Riggs an Murtaugh. Some dodgy special effects aside, it was a damn good time.

Since it was a hit, the studio fast-tracked a sequel. This is usually not good news as it is merely a way to cash in on the success of the first film while making each progressive film in the series worse. Does SH:AGOS follow this dreaded trend or does it exceed my pessimistic expectations?

The Good

Three words: Professor James Moriarty. Jared Harris plays what is arguably the greatest villain in literary history with just the right touches of pretense, joy and douche-baggery. By no means does he chew the scenery, he's just damn good. Doesn't hue to be written well either.
Law and Downey Jr. haven't missed a beat. Watson and Holmes are as fun to watch as they were two years ago, even more so now that Watson finally ties the knot and Holmes is forced to deal with it. Actually, one of the funniest moments is when Holmes throws Watson a stag party with no guests, afraid to admit that he actually forgot about the whole thing.
We see the addition of Holmes's brother Mycroft, an eccentric politician with a major case of germaphobia and OCD. He's played by Stephen Fry, so it's obvious that it's a great character!
Gone are the so-so CGI effects from the first movie. Ritchie stages some fantastic action scenes in this movie, many of them rivaling any I've seen all year (yes, I'm looking at you Ghost Protocol). There is a chase through the woods involving Holmes, Watson, gypsies, and some heavy artillery that is mind-blowing, and it is only enhanced by Ritchie's unique style of direction. REALLY good stuff!
I'm not one to pump up Hans Zimmer, but his score for this film is simply fantastic. Very different than what you'd expect in a film like this.

The Bad

There are some quirky moments that don't quite jive with the rest of the film, but they are almost unnoticeable because of the amount of great things happening.
I loved seeing Noomi Rapace as a gypsy desperately looking for her brother, but the character was dull and did not have much to do but look introspective. A real shame.

Overall, I was floored by how awesome this movie was. It easily lives up to the first film, and stood out to me as one of the best action films of the year, even surpassing Ghost Protocol. I highly recommend it!

Rating- 8/10

Next up, a review of the recently branded best picture nominee Moneyball. See you soon!

REVIEW: Midnight in Paris (2011)

2012-01-31T06:58:00.000-08:00

Man, am I behind! I've been catching up on some Oscar bait over the past month and have not shared any reviews. Well, the time has come to fix this problem. We start with the critically acclaimed Woody Allen film Midnight in Paris.

I grew up with a mother who possesses a strong dislike for Woody Allen. She claims he never changes his schtick and always makes movies with a neurotic writer/filmmaker modeled on himself. Well, this is true a good amount of the time. I'm kind of on the fence with the man. I seem to like the Woody Allen movies everyone else forgot about. I thought Annie Hall was grossly overrated but I LOVED Deconstructing Harry. Match Point is garbage but I adore Mighty Aphrodite.

The premise of Paris is intriguing; a successful screenwriter/struggling novelist (Owen Wilson, doing his best Woody) travels to Paris to extract some inspiration for his slow-going novel. One night he gets into a car and travels back to the Golden Ages, hanging out with such great artists as F. Scott Fitzgerald, Ernest Hemingway, and even Salvador Dali. Will they help him find direction, or will he simply marry his bitch finacee (Rachel McAdams) and continue to be successful and unhappy?

The Good

I truly love the premise of this film. It affords Allen the opportunity to have some fun with these historical figures, and he does. The supporting actors truly make this movie worth while. Corey Stoll plays Hemingway just as I imagined him; a belligerent and cocky drunk. Kathy Bates plays Gertrude Stein as both motherly and pointedly blunt. Although he has about three minutes of screen time, Adrien Brody's Salvador Dali is easily the best role he's played since The Pianist. There are too many more to list, but rest assured they are all a joy to watch.
Allen REALLY likes Paris, and the direction and cinematography truly show us the beauty of the city. I never really had an overwheliming urge to see Paris, but this film changed my mind.
Michael Sheen has a great role as an a-hole know-it-all friend of Rachel McAdams's character. You wanted to punch him every time he showed up, but he just has such a gret smile! DAMN YOU!

The Bad

The parts are truly greater than the sum. While I loved the trips back in time, anything in the present having to do with the main character's struggles left me cold. Simply put, I didn't really care what happened to him, I just wanted to see Hemingway again!
Rachel McAdams played a truly horrible person, and it made me wonder why Owen Wilson's character would ever really considering marrying her in the first place! It is a one dimensional role and feels really out of place.
There were too many instances where Allen was clearly catering to the pretentious arty snobs. So many references went over my head, and I clearly envisioned myself in a room of English majors getting scoffed at because I did not pick them up. Way to gain mass appeal Woody!
The use of music was infuriating! The same damn song was used for every scene change! Change it up at least once! It really took me out of the movie.
The opening montage of Paris went on WAY TOO LONG! We get it, it's a nice city. Can't you run the credits over this or something?

In the end, I found this movie too pretentious and inaccessible for the common moviegoer. Some people might say it's for the educated viewer. Well, f*&^ you, I'm quite educated and I still found it mediocre. Truly not worthy of it's mass critical appeal.

Rating- 6/10

Stay tuned, becuase I'll have a review of Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows up soon. Thanks, and comment of you get a chance!

The Tucker Moviepalooza Day 2!

2011-12-30T19:32:00.000-08:00

Today we simply went to our favorite Regal Cinemas to view our double feature (and, I might add, only paid for one of them). Obviously these two films are more mainstream than yesterday's fare, so what were they? Movie number #3 was...

I have never read the book this was based on, but I did see the Swedish version, so I know the story. I was hesitant about the American version, mainly because its existence was justified by the fact that dumb American moviegoers (mostly everyone) couldn't stand reading the subtitles in the already excellent Swedish version. Was it worth the effort to remake it?

The Good

Hell yes, it was well worth it! David Fincher and company have crafted a masterful thriller that exceeds all expectations. Fincher deserves a heap of credit, because the movie rarely drags, even at 160 minutes. It is wrought with great suspense and deliberate storytelling, and I do not believe any other director could have accomplished this task with this particular narrative. I've loved Fincher's work since Seven (hell, I even like Alien 3) and I am anxious to see this man win a friggin' Oscar already. This movie could do it for him.
Fantastic character development, credited to long time screenwriter Steven Zaillian. With a cast of characters so disturbed and rich I was very impressed with the time spent on each one of them.
Daniel Craig continues to impress me as an actor, avoiding being typecast as James Bond. He gives a charismatic and nuanced performance, and easily hold the movie on his shoulders.
MAJOR PROPS to Rooney Mara as the titular character. Lisbeth Salander may be the most important female character in the past twenty years, and Mara brings her to life with such bravery. Her fearless performance contains heaps of aggression, apathy and intelligence; depth rarely seen in any character nowadays, male or female. An Oscar nod is a given.
All technical aspects of the film are exemplary, from the bleak and beautiful cinematography to the fantastic score by Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross. Also, the opening credits are AMAZING.
It is gratifying to see such a great ADULT movie bust into the mainstream. There is a real lack of these films recently, with most studios catering to the dumb American masses. However, I know there is a large sect of the public that appreciates a movie like this, where thinking and following are a necessity.

The Bad

If you are easily offended or horrified, stay far away. This stuff is not for the faint of heart.
Although the majority of the film was paced extremely well, I felt some major dragging during the last 30 minutes or so. It's really the story's fault, not the filmmakers.

Overall, this is a superb crime thriller that deserves to be seen by any fan of the genre. If you know nothing about the books or the story, prepare to be blown away by the sheer depth of the characters and the intrigue of the plot. Highly recommended!

Rating- 9/10

After a brief rest, we snuck into our last movie in our festival. What could possibly end this joyous two-day movie extravaganza? None other than...

I've been a fan of this series of films primarily because each one, for better or worse, has its own feel. The first one was very story oriented which I felt was very faithful to the original series. The second one was chock full of Hong Kong style action, thanks to John Woo. It wasn't very good, but I appreciated the attempt. The third one decided to abandon the style and substance and shoot for a straight up action film, and it was quite successful. Did this latest installment carve a new reputation, or do we have more of the previous versions?

The Good

The action sequences are wonderfully staged by director Brad Bird. Creative, nonstop and endlessly exciting, I guarantee a good time for action junkies.
Great lead actors, especially Jeremy Renner and Simon Pegg. Paula Patton is likable and EXTREMELY attractive, and Tom Cruise is, well, Tom Cruise. He does his own stunts and looks good when he runs.
Some fun cameos and great humor mixed in with the breakneck action sequences.

The Bad

If you're expecting some surprises, you'll be disappointed. It is an action movie, complete with a predictable and insignificant story.
The villain, played by the Muppety man Michael Nyquist, doesn't say much, has a pouch, and never really got a chance to be menacing in the least.
I know one needs to suspend reality while watching an action movie, but there was one moment near the end that I could simply not overlook. Really, it was RIDICULOUS!
I usually don't mind product placement in movies, but the constant barrage of BMW got to me.

If you want a good action movie that will surely entertain, you can't go wrong with this. Just don't expect the next Die Hard because you will be disappointed. Take it for what it is, a fun action flick that you'll most likely forget about in a few days. I'm in the minority here, but I still think the first one is the best!

Rating- 7/10

Thus ends the Tucker Moviepalooza. In conclusion, I still love my wife and the movies. Here's looking forward to another great year in film. By the way my podcast, the Price Street Film Club (which I record with my buddy Erich), will be returning soon with brand new features, so stay tuned for some shameless plugging!

The Tucker Moviepalooza Day 1!

2011-12-29T18:42:00.000-08:00

There are many reason why I love my wife. Not to bore you but we've known each other for 16 years now and, I'm proud to say, she's become quite the film buff. Our first date was Toy Story and our second date was From Dusk Till Dawn. For a girl who had only been watching Disney and chick flicks for the first 16 years of her life, the latter was quite a system shock. However, she stayed with me and the rest is history.

Why bring this up now? Well, two weeks ago we were discussing our holiday plans. She informed me she would be off the two days before New Year's Eve, and that we should see two movies on each of those days. Yes, we would create our own film festival, the Tucker Moviepalooza!

We decided to go arty for day 1 of the fest, so we jumped on a train and headed to Philadelphia for some Ritz Theater goodness. We visited the Reading Terminal Market for lunch, hit the Bourse between films for some hot chocolate, and took in a nice walk through Old City. We saw movie #1 at the Ritz V. What was this movie? Well...

The Artist

I had been hearing some major Oscar buzz surrounding this film, but I was still not completely sure what is was about. Turns out it's a (mostly) silent film about a silent film star struggling to stay relevant in the transition to talkies. Was it a gimmicky waste or a treasure?

The Good

All the positive buzz surrounding this film is well deserved. Simply put, it is an amazing film. It may be a gimmick, but it is so well executed you won't care.
The acting is wonderful, especially since the cast doesn't speak. It is based solely on facial expressions and movements. Special mention to the leads Jean Dujardin and Berenice Bejo. Dujardin is the title character you cannot help feel sorry for. What is also nice is he seems to be a pretty good guy overall, not your typical a**hole that gets reformed by the end of the film. Bejo plays an actress who takes advantage of the silent to talky phenomenon, but is still the nicest person in the world. You'll recognize a ton of other faces as well, and they're all great.
The music is some of the most wonderful I've ever heard in a movie. I was almost brought to tears by the sheer joy of the score and songs. I could watch this film over and over and never get sick of this fantastic music. I am currently Ludovic Bource's biggest fan (he wrote the music).
The directing is great, with some beautifully framed shots and some beautiful black and white cinematography. Another surprise was the director's choice to shoot in 4:3 aspect to further represent the era of film.
The dog, possibly the coolest dog in all of film.
Some wonderfully unexpected whimsical and comedic moments round out the overall spectacular experience.

The Bad

I'm stretching here, but maybe some shots were a bit too long.
Some morons won't watch this simply because it's in black and white and silent. Get over it because you're missing a gem.

I truly hope this gets a wide release before the Oscars so people get a chance to see how great it really is. If you can find it playing near you, see it. You will not regret it!

Rating- 10/10

Our next stop was right down the street at the Ritz East. I heard a funny exchange as I was in line for concessions. An older gentleman bought a ticket for the only movie playing in the only theater in the place, yet still asked what theater it was in. The guy n the box office answered, "The only one!" People are REALLY stupid. Anyway, movie #2 was...

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

This is another movie people were talking about for a long time. Based off the John Le Carre spy masterpiece, this is a dense ensemble picture that has been garnering some fantastic reviews over the past few months. Are they well-deserved?

The Good

What a cast! Some of the best British actors of today and yesterday give nearly perfect performances, led by the great Gary Oldman. Oldman plays George Smiley as both endearing and brutally business-oriented with the skill of the great thespian he is. It's a tall order to be the standout in a cast like this, but Oldman clearly owns this film.
If you have any interest in espionage thrillers, you should seek this out. It is much more densely plotted than the Bourne franchise, but ultimately more rewarding given this is pretty much regarded as what started the whole spy craze in the first place.
Great directing from Tomas Alfredson (Let the Right One In), including great music cues, intimate close-ups and beautiful locations.
People should crave a film like this every once and a while. You need to pay attention and lose yourself in the sheer brilliance of the writing. It is a very rewarding experience.

The Bad

The fact that this was one of the first spy thrillers unfortunately lent itself to being a tiny bit predictable in some spots.
The director's choice of throwing in seemingly unrelated scenes and unlabeled flashbacks will confuse many viewers, especially those with a short attention span.
Although masterfully acted and directed, this is not one of those movies you'll watch multiple times. It's not what I would call an entertaining film.

Don't be immediately turned off by my comments, this is still a wonderful movie that deserves to be seen.

Rating- 8/10

Well, that's day 1 of the Tucker Moviepalooza done! What's in store for day 2? You'll have to tune in tomorrow and see. Until then, comment away!

NEW MOVIE REVIEW: The Muppets (2011)

2011-11-23T21:46:00.001-08:00

Yup, it's currently 12:45am, and I just got back from The Muppets. Honestly, I could not wait to share my thoughts, so it's time to play the music, it's time to light the lights...

The Good

SO MUCH! It was very apparent this film was written by Muppet fans. Not only that, it was written by Muppet fans who truly believe they deserve to come back. It is a love letter to these wonderful characters, and I am thrilled it was executed in such a benevolent manner.
Great humor, from the inside jokes to the homages, and also that fantastic adult sense of humor the Muppets have always had.
The music is fantastic! Thank goodness they decided on a full blown musical, because everyone gets to show their chops. The Muppets themselves do a new rendition of "The Rainbow Connection" that is a joyous and heartfelt return to the days of yore. Yeah, I cried, so what? It's the Muppets back on the big screen!
The Muppeteers were on their game bringing some new techniques that looked pretty darn cool. Take special note of Walter, the new guy, in the beginning song. They never cease to amaze.
Chris Cooper raps. It's awesome.
It's chock full of great cameos. I will not ruin them, but just keep your eyes open or you'll miss some.
Jason Segel and Amy Adams (who looks SUPER cute in this) were great as the token humans. The writers were also smart enough to make sure they were out of the way once the Muppets were on screen, this being a Muppet movie and all.
I've been smiling for the past three hours. Isn't that enough of a recommendation?

The Bad

I commend all of the newer Muppet performers for their unbelievable work on this movie but, as lame as this sounds, I still have a hard time not hearing Jim Henson's and Frank Oz's voices out of these characters. Yeah, I know Jim is dead, but Steve Whitmire, as fantastic as he is, just isn't Henson. I guess it's personal preference. Also, as a friend of mine said, these are the Muppets for a whole new generation. Who cares who does the voices as long as the characters are still here?

Honestly, I could not be happier about the Muppets' triumphant return to the big screen. I hope people go see this and realize the greatness of these characters and the joy they can produce. This is the ultimate family film, and I hope it makes boatloads of money so we can see the Muppets come back again and again. Thanks for a great movie guys, and welcome back!

Rating- 10/10

Best movie of the year? Not quite, Deathly Hallows Part 2 still takes that title, but it's damn close. Round out your holiday weekend with this movie. You will not be disappointed. Happy Turkey Day movie lovers!

Muppet Mania!!!!

2011-11-21T16:14:00.001-08:00

One of my earliest TV memories was gathering together as a family on Friday nights to watch The Muppet Show. Man, it did not get better than that show. Although it was aimed at kids, it was chock full of brilliant adult humor that sailed over the heads of kids. The Muppet Movie was released in 1979, and I was told I saw it in the theater, but being one year old, I don't quite remember it. I do remember numerous viewings of that and The Great Muppet Caper on VHS at my cousin's house throughout the early 80's. I vividly remember seeing The Muppets Take Manhattan in the theater, and loving it.

I also remember the death of Jim Henson in 1990. For me, this marked the end of an era. The Muppeteers continued on, releasing The Muppet Christmas Carol, Muppet Treasure Island and Muppets From Space in the 90's. They also created a new, albeit short-lived, TV show called Muppets Tonight. Most fans and critics agreed these were not up to the usual Jim Henson standard, and the Muppets faded into obscurity once we hit the new millennium.

Then the darndest thing happened. The Muppets staged there own viral comeback on YouTube around 2008, creating some classic videos such as Beaker's Ode to Joy and their own Bohemian Rhapsody. Then the rumors started circulating about Jason Segel getting the go ahead to write an all new theatrical movie for the Muppets. This dude got REALLY excited.

Now we are days away from the opening of The Muppets, and I'm excited for SO MANY REASONS. One, it looks fantastic. Two, it's getting some great buzz. Three, I get to take my kid to see it! So, in preparation for this historical release, my family and I have been preparing by binging on all things Muppet. I've decided to share some of these with you, complete with my thoughts on some of the Muppets' great and not-so-great moments. Without further ado...

The Muppet Movie
I love everything about this movie. Although all of its parts don't quite gel together, it is still a brilliant technical and emotional accomplishment. The songs are fantastic and the cameos are numerous and fun. This is in my top ten of all time.
Best Song- I'm partial to the Rowlf/Kermit duet "I Hope That Somethin' Better Comes Along."
Best Cameo- Steve Martin as a waiter with a real attitude problem. "Would you like to SMELL the BOTTLECAP?"
Best Line- A loaded question, but I would have to go with Fozzie's line, "Aahh, a bear in his natural habitat. A Studebaker."

The Great Muppet Caper
The Muppeteers really stepped it up with this one from a technical standpoint, with the gang riding bikes, flying a hot air balloon and Miss Piggy mounting a motorcycle to save the day. The setting shifts to London and focuses on a jewel heist. The songs seem to be trying a little too hard and the plot drags a little too much, but the last 20 minutes are a riot, throwing in more self-referential humor and fourth-wall breaking than you can keep up with.
Best Song- "Happiness Hotel" by a long shot!
Best Cameo- I'm partial to Miss Piggy throwing Sir Peter Ustinov out of his truck.
Best Line- Kermit- "You guys live here?"
Floyd- "Yeah, but only between gigs, which means we've been here
for what, five years?"

The Muppets Take Manhattan
Although it feels more like a postcard for NYC than a Muppet movie, it still retains the heart of the characters. It also moves a little too quickly in the beginning only to drag in the middle. However, all is offset with the introduction of the Muppet Babies!
Best Song- "I'm Gonna Always Love You," which is the song during the Muppet Babies sequence. It's a great throwback to the rock of the 50's.
Best Cameo- Gregory Hines as a Central Park athlete infringing on Kermit and Piggy's relationship.
Best Line- Rich Dog Owner- "Snookums prefers the rubber Wall Street Journal over the rubber New
York Times."
Rowlf- "Don't we all?"

The Muppet Christmas Carol
I'm not really qualified to talk about this one because I've only seen it twice. The reason? I really don't like it at all. In my defense, I don' like the original story itself, and this is very faithful to Dickens. I'm partial to Bill Murray's Scrooged myself.

Muppet Treasure Island
Although not well received by most Muppet fans, I have a real weak spot for this movie. I saw it in college with two roommates who were also Muppet diehards, and we loved it from the first song (I bet one of them could still sing that song from memory). Yes, it is very faithful to the source material which sometimes tends to ignore the Muppets a bit, but I still love the wit behind it. The music is also fantastic!
Best Song- "Cabin Fever" is a nutty romp that could only be pulled off by the Muppets.
Best Cameo- Both Christmas Carol and this kind of did away with the cameo thing and had an established actor take the lead. So I have to give the nod to Tim Curry, who was the MAN as Long John Silver.
Best Line- Native Pig- "We see you have boom-boom stick... bye bye!"

Muppets From Space
In a desperate attempt to please the diehards, the Muppeteers tried to bring back the fun by putting the focus on the Muppets and giving the story over to Gonzo. It's amusing in spots and has some great old-school muppet moments, but it is lacking in the overall warm feeling you should get from a Muppet movie. Plus, I know some fans who were REALLY upset about Gonzo being from space since Jim Henson previously stated what he was (damned if I can remember what that was).
Best Song- Yeah, they also decided not to make this one a musical either. Not the greatest choice, but the soundtrack is all funk and R&B, so that's cool. The Muppets sing "Brick House" in the opening scene, so I'll vote for that one.
Best Cameo- There are a bunch, but my favorite is Ray Liotta as a security guard.
Best Line- Ed- "And DON'T say 'I don't know!'"
Gonzo- "I know not?"

And then, 12 years of made-for-TV stuff. Real brief, A Very Merry Muppet Christmas is a fun variation on It's a Wonderful Life, but it definitely screams of TV movie. Muppet Wizard of Oz was a piece of crap. Muppets: Letters From Santa is cute, but nothing groundbreaking.

Okay, I have also had the opportunity to listen to the soundtrack for the new movie, and it is FANTASTIC! The songs hit all the right notes; I even got choked up listening to Kermit singing "Pictures in My Head." Oh yeah, Chris Cooper raps, and it is AWESOME.

Stay tuned for a review of The Muppets as soon as I see it. Can't. Friggin. Wait!

NEW MOVIE REVIEW- A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas (2011)

2011-11-06T14:23:00.000-08:00

New movie review? Don't look twice, it's really true! My wife and I had the luxury to go and see the latest installment of the stoner franchise, this time taking the plunge into Christmas movie territory. Will it become part of my holiday movie canon, or does it deserve to get smoked like a giant magic joint?

The Good

I won't lie, I love Harold and Kumar. White Castle is one of the best modern comedies, possibly the funniest movie since the turn of the century. It is a lot smarter than people give it credit for, providing some social commentary on the way we as a country stereotyope and profile those different than us. While Guantanamo Bay wasn't nearly as good, it still had some of that smart humor present. Christmas is a great return to form, not only bringing back that smart humor in droves but also adding some real Christmas spirit amongst its UNBELIEVABLY tasteless humor. By the way...
If you like tasteless humor that is actually funny, this is for you. The best part is the writers don't linger on any joke too long so nothing feels stale. From drugged up babies to a Claymation violence spree to Santa being shot in the face, it is a varied and wild trip.
John Cho and Kal Penn are great as usual, taking any opportunity to break down the fourth wall (look for references to Cho in Star Trek and Penn's time in the White House). Some of the supporting players are also fun, especially Tom Lennon as Harold's "bestie" and the immortal Danny Trejo as Harold's father-in-law.
As much as it makes fun of Christmas movies, it reallt holds them in high regard as well. The movie gives great nods to A Christmas Story, It's a Wonderful Life and even some the old holiday musicals. You will leave in the Christmas spirit, I'm serious!
The 3D gags are cheap and blatant. I LOVED THEM!
Neil Patrick Harris cameos again, and in his brief ten minutes he performs a dance number, pretends the gay thing is just an act, buys crack, reads minds, and gets sent out of heaven for stealing angels from Jesus.
WAFFLEBOT! Google it, you'll see.

The Bad

Didn't like the other two movies? This won't convert you.
Don't like cheap 3D tricks? Don't bother.
Don't like tasteless humor? Stay away.
Don't come expecting a deep story. It could have easily been called Harold and Kumar Look For a Tree.

If you are a fan of Harold and Kumar, cheap 3D tricks, Christmas, and tastelessness, go see it! You'll have a great time and leave feeling ready for the holidays. Comment if you get the chance!

Rating- 7/10

I'm still alive . . . and I saw The Lion King in 3D!

2011-09-18T19:48:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I'm sorry it's been so long since I've updated. I'm a teacher, so once school starts it all goes downhill. I'm not asking for sympathy, because one of my pet peeves is whiny bitch teachers, but I thought I'd let my regular readers know what was up.

Anyway, I did not get to finish my Summer of DC, but at some point I will finish, mainly because I want to record a podcast with my old cohort of the Price Street Film Club (click the link to check out some of our past episodes if your commute to work sucks). However, although not movie news, I have been exploring the DC Universe reboot known as the New 52. What I have read is impressive, especially Detective Comics (a really dark Batman) and Action Comics (a young Superman being a dick). BTW, I'm reading them all digitally, because, as Egon Spengler so wonderfully stated, print is dead.

I'm updating the blog to talk about a great moviegoing experience I had today. The wife, kid and I went to see the 3D rerelease of The Lion King. I'm not going to format this review in my regular format, mainly because there's nothing bad about this movie. I believe it to be the greatest film ever produced by the Disney studio, and it is in my top ten favorite films of all time. My plan is to detail some of the good and not-so-good results of the 3D conversion, and to essentially explain why I believe this is the greatest Disney film ever. Of course, my stuff will be in a list format. You didn't really think I could write a legitimate review, did you?

It has one of the greatest opening scenes in film. EVER. From the African chant accompanying the sunrise to the gathering animals to Rafiki on Pride Rock, not to mention the UNBELIEVABLE song, it makes me tear up every time because of the sheer grandeur of it all.
It has the greatest villain in the Disney catalog. Scar is pure Shakesperean evil, obsessed with power and wrought with family jealousy. His song (Be Prepared) happens to be the coolest song in the film, with the visual style evoking the old school Nazi propaganda posters. On top of all of that, he's voiced by Jeremy Irons.
It knows how to shift tones. We go from the grand beginning to the Shakespearean brother confrontation, and then it effortlessly moves to a colorful and light-hearted tune by Simba and Nala. What happens next? Their lived are endangered in the elephant graveyard. The movie keeps doing this throughout its running time, and never do the tonal shifts feel forced. Quite a directorial and editing feat, especially for an animated film.
The voice acting is superb. Did you know Nathan Lane and Ernie Sabella (Timon and Pumbaa respectively) were cast because of their rapport on stage during the Broadway run of Guys and Dolls? On top of that, you have James Earl Jones in a role that couldn't have been cast more perfectly, the aforemetioned brilliant Jeremy Irons, and a wonderfully jerky Rowan Atkinson as Zazu. Also, Ed the hyena is still my favorite.
The wildebeest stampede. Yes folks, Mufasa's death has been making grown men cry since 1994. Not to mention the wonderful integration of computer and hand-drawn animation.
The wonderful exchange between Rafiki and Simba. Who would have thought a baboon would be so helpful and wise? I can quote that whole scene, but I still adore it.
A truly satisfying ending. Simba comes home, rumbles with hyenas and Scar, and maintains his royal dignity by not killing his uncle (take that Hamlet). However, to avoid a copout, the hyenas eat Scar in the end. LOVE IT! The circle of life comes full circle, and the story is complete. Until some money-grubbing whores make two direct-to-video sequels.
The 3D conversion and digital facelift only add to the greatness. There was nothing particularly notable about the 3D, but it was neat to see some of the landscapes pop out, as well as some of the scenes with water and reflections. The coolest thing was when Scar leaped through the fire at Simba. I actually jumped at that one. If you see this, see it in 3D with digital sound, because my theater had it cranked and it was FANTASTIC.
You can share it with a new generation. I still value the theater going experience, and I hope to spread this joyous hobby to my son. I think it's cool to take my son to a movie I saw in the theater when I was essentially a kid. And let me tell you, he was LOVING it! For those fo you who say we can just watch the same movie at home, I think you're denying your kids a truly magical experience. Yes, I love movies THAT much. Go see it and have a great family experience. You better get on it though, it's only around for two weeks.

It goes without saying this is a perfect film in my eyes. I had a big grin on my face the whole time, and it only got bigger while I watched my son on the edge of his seat in his kiddie 3D glasses, mouth agape at the classic he was experiencing.

Anyway, I've said enough. One of my faves. Comment if you have a chance, and thanks for reading!

NEW MOVIE REVIEW: Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011)

2011-08-13T06:34:00.000-07:00

photo courtesy of impawards.com

Film buffs know August is often referred to as "the dumping ground." After the spectacle of the May-July summer movie season, August is often privy to some really awful movies. Don't believe me? August 200 gave us the awful Paul Verhoven "thriller" Hollow Man. Appropriately enough, August 2001 was when Tim Burton's horrendous Planet of the Apes remake was released. Lest we not forget August 2007, when the cinematic masterpiece Bratz: The Movie was thrust upon American teens and their recently suicidal parents. Hell, have you seen the new Spy Kids trailers?
However, August has also provided us with some great movies like The 40-Year-Old Virgin, The Bourne Ultimatum, Superbad, Borat, and Tropic Thunder, just to name a few. However, the real question is how doe Rise of the Planet of the Apes rank?

The Good

Wow. There's a lot of good here. I guess I should mention the script first, because it is some kick ass sci-fi. Most of us know the previous Apes movies were regarded as somewhat tongue-in-cheek sci-fi, but this one plays it straight and yields great results. The overall arc of Caesar the chimp throughout the film, the clever social commentary, and the climax detailing the titular Rise are all handled beautifully. They even have some blink-and-you'll-miss-them nods to the original film spattered throughout. What a great surprise!
Speaking of Caesar, Andy Serkis delivers a mo-cap performance above and beyond anything ever put on screen before. Not only are the visual effects by Weta jaw-dropping, but Serkis injects his role with more charisma and genuine emotion than any of his human counterparts. This is a technical masterpiece, and I would not be surprised to see Andy Serkis's name around Oscar time, that is if the old academy farts can wrap their head around this new technology.
The human counterparts were good as well, with special mention going to John Lithgow, who plays James Franco's Alzheimer's stricken father. I also liked Brian Cox as the asshole who runs the primate reserve. Although I had never heard of him, I was impressed by David Oyelowo, who plays the managing figure in the experiments at the GenSys labs.
Director Rupert Wyatt did an admirable job in directing the movie, with some stylish long takes and fantastic wide overhead shots of the apes running through San Francisco. He also kept a brisk pace, and the movie had me completely engrossed from the first frame.
Did I mention the visual effects are unbelievable? There were extended scenes of the apes interacting, and these were by far the best scenes of the film. That is a testament to Weta, because they took the time to make these apes actual characters, and you WILL feel sympathy and remorse for these guys, I promise. CGI with character development? Believe it folks!

The Bad

Not all the humans were memorable. James Franco, while not bad, was not up to his usual standard. Tom "Draco Malfoy" Felton played your typical asshole, and the beautiful Frieda Pinto was wasted as Franco's girlfriend.
If you are afraid or appalled by apes, I don't recommend seeing this.

This was an unbelievable film, and I rank it as one of the best of the summer. Which is saying a lot, because I believe this was one of the best summer movie seasons ever. I highly recommend you see this movie, whether you are a fan of the originals, sci-fi, or just looking for a great night at the movies. You will be surprised, I promise!

Rating- 9/10

Man, what a great movie! Anyway, thanks for reading, and stay tuned for... BATMAN BEGINS! Sometime in the, well, near future...

SNEAK PREVIEW REVIEW: Fright Night (2011)

2011-08-12T12:06:00.000-07:00

photo courtesy of impawards.com

So I won two free tickets to see an advance screening of Fright Night in Philly. My brother, ever the movie buff, took a train from Lancaster to 30th Street Station so we could see it together. The only thing we really knew about it were the cast members, it was a remake of the 1985 horror/comedy film of the same name, and Marni Noxon, the head writer of the last season of Buffy wrote the screenplay. The story centers around Charlie (Anton Yelchin) who starts to suspect his new next door neighbor Jerry (Colin Farrell) is a vampire. Once his fears are realized, Jerry starts wreaking havoc, determined to keep Charlie silent. So, how was it?

The Good

The real standout in this movie is the casting. The leads really seem to be enjoying themselves, and they all have fantastic comic timing. Colin Farrell chews the scenery (pun intended) with a constant look of glee. Christopher "McLovin" Mintz-Plasse has some of the best lines in the movie. David "Dr. Who" Tennant absolutely steals the show as a Vegas showman who might actually know how to kill a vampire. Everyone seems to be on board with the campiness of the whole thing, and I think that was an important part of selling the film.
Horror comedy is is a tricky bitch, but I think Marni Noxon and director Craig Gillespie got it right on. They let the scares happen when needed and give us a nice helping of gore, but never stray from the silliness of it all. Also, they are EXTREMELY faithful to the original, quoting specific lines and even giving a wonderful cameo to Chris Sarandon, the original Jerry.
If you like cheap 3D gags, look no further. This movie is chock full of crap flying in your face. It's good 3D as well because the movie was actually shot in 3D, not post-converted.

The Bad

If you don't like cheap 3D tricks? Well, don't see it. I will admit there were very unnecessary 3D shots, but as I thought it added to the campy experience, some may think it just plain stupid.
The script suffered a bit from continuity errors and some holes. I think they could have gone over it a few times more before they approved the final draft.
The actress who played Charlie's girlfriend was the only real weak point from an acting standpoint. She kind of looked bored throughout the movie. Oh, her name is Imogen Poots. Yeah, I'm serious.
What's wrong with using the old school corn syrup fake blood? Why do so many filmmakers use damn CGI blood? It looks lame!

Overall, I'd say it was a fun flick, and it was nice to see a horror comedy film busting into the mainstream. It also stands as a faithful and smart update of a cult classic film. Nothing groundbreaking, but enjoyable nonetheless.

Rating- 7/10

YAY! I saw a movie with the Philly press! I feel special! Anyway, don't ask about the DC movies. They're on their way, I swear! BTW, after the DC movies are all done, my podcasting mate and I will be resurrecting the Price Street Film Club! Unfamiliar with this? Check out the previous episodes here or on itunes. Thanks, and don't forget to check out the LAMB!

HAIKU REVIEWS

2011-08-08T07:18:00.000-07:00

Yes, I am aware others have done this before, but I saw three movies this week and I don't really think they merit the full review process. I save that for movies I feel very strongly for or against, or new release movies. So, without further delay, witness the poetic prowess of MAQAM'S HAIKU REVIEWS!

The Kids Are All Right (2010, Annette Bening, Julianne Moore)
This Oscar sweetheart
Drew the raves from most critics,
All I say is "meh."

Unstoppable (2010, Denzel Washington, Chris Pine)
A runaway train
Tears through the state of PA.
Loud and mindless fun!

Rio (2011, voices of Jesse Eisenberg, Anne Hathaway)
A standard story...
Great voices, visuals and
Songs make it a blast!

Thank you. Donations can be posted on PayPal under "subpar starving poet who likes movies."

NEW MOVIE REVIEW: Cowboys & Aliens (2011)

2011-07-31T17:11:00.000-07:00

photo courtesy of impawards.com

This weekend we see the release of the highly anticipated sci-fi/western Cowboys & Aliens. This movie is a collaboration of, well, a crapload of people including but not limited to Steven Spielberg, Jon Favreau, Harrison Ford, Ron Howard, and even Damon Lindelof of Lost fame. Does the movie live up to the hype?

The Good

Solid performances across the board, especially from Harrison Ford. I always look forward to seeing him in anything, but I REALLY like seeing him get back to his sci-fi and adventure roots. I just love watching him when he's on.
Great location shooting with some beautiful scenery. A nice throwback to the westerns of old.
Good visual effects, with some very much appreciated practical explosions.
Entertaining story that pays some homage to the "mysterious stranger" story of old.

The Bad

There's nothing bad, but it all came off as being very standard. It gave you what the name says, but don't expect any surprises.
I feel a little guilty about this, but with all of the names attached to this film, wouldn't you expect something a little more than your standard summer action flick? Heck, I got more enjoyment out of Transformers: DOTM. I had similar feelings to another movie this summer, Super 8. That was also good, but did not even come close to living up to the hype surrounding it.
A red flag gets raised when you see that it takes eight writers to compose the narrative of a summer popcorn flick. Nothing was wrong with the story, but it really felt the writers tried to play it very safe. No risks were taken.
Minor Spoiler Alert: There's a dog. It sounds like it dies, but then it shows up later. That stuff pisses me off!

Okay, I'll say it. I was diappointed with Cowboys & Aliens. I guess I'm guilty of buying into the hype, but whatever! I like going to the movies, I like researching what I'm going to watch, I like to give every movie the benefit of the doubt. I'm no snobby asshole critic, I'm just a dude who likes movies. Sue me. My recommendation? Go see Captain America. It's a better movie, and you'll have much more fun. Read my review if you need some convincing.

Rating- 6/10

I need some help from the readers here. I HATE movies where the dog lives for no reason. Why are people so upset about animals dying in movies? So many people eat it in this movie, yet the filmmakers felt the need to tease us with the death of the dog, only to bring him back to make the characters and the audience feel better? Readers, please give me some examples of movies that don't shy away from dealing our furry friends untimely demises. I'll give you my favorite example. For no reason whatsoever, an alien kills the presidential pup in Tim Burton's underrated film Mars Attacks! Help me out here folks, I'm on an angry rant! BTW, Marley and Me DOES NOT COUNT. Don't limit yourself to canines, branch out if you can!

Thanks!

NEW MOVIE REVIEW: Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)

2011-07-24T08:28:00.000-07:00

photo courtesy of impawards.com

Marvel Studios completes its superhero run in preparation for next year's Avengers with the origin story of the original American hero. It is worth your pennies, or should you let Cappy remain in his icy tomb?

The Good

The movie looks GREAT! The filmmakers committed to the bright and lively production values, fully immersing the audience in the wartime 1940's, complete with USO propaganda shows and songs. So impressive and so much fun!
The visual effects used to transform Chris Evans from scrawny kid to Cappy were unbelievable. I sat in awe for the first half-hour, desperately trying to figure out how they did it. It's flawless.
Speaking of Chris Evans, he's the perfect pick for Steve Rogers. He plays the part effortlessly, never becoming cocky and always personifying the truly good guy. I gotta hand it to Marvel, they really know how to pick their leads.
The movie is effortlessly paced, with the two-hour running time literally flying by. Major props to director Joe Johnston (The Rocketeer, October Sky) for delivering a true summer popcorn flick.
With the exception of Iron Man, this is the most fully realized Marvel movie. The filmmakers had a vision and perfectly inserted it into the existing Marvel film universe without alienating the fanboys who live and die by the comics. We get to see all our favorite characters, and most of them get some significant screen time. Great job!
There are some truly fun supporting roles, including Tommy Lee Jones (who's looking REALLY old) as a grizzled colonel, Dominic Cooper as the Howard Hughes-esque Howard Stark and Neal McDonough as Dum Dum Dugan, one of my favorite characters from the Captain America comics.

The Bad

Although expertly paced, much of the movie feels rushed. Some parts in particular even resembled a sitcom clip show. I understand the challenge of adapting such an expansive universe into two hours, but Iron Man and Thor didn't suffer from the same issue.
I love Hugo Weaving, and his physical demeanor as the Red Skull was great, but he REALLY needed more to do than look angry and run away.
Some of the visual effects looked a little too CGI. With such detail given to Chris Evans's transformation, why couldn't they make the other stuff look just as good? It's especially obvious because a lot of the effects are practical explosions, so the shoddy looking effects really stand out next to them.

It's not a perfect movie, but it's a hell of a lot of fun and the best Marvel film since Iron Man. I recommend it highly, and as is par for the course, make sure you stay after the credits.

Rating- 8/10

Summer's winding down, and I need to finish my assignment! Batman Begins will be coming soon!

Maqam's Unofficial Touring Guide of the Orlando Resorts!

2011-07-21T18:16:00.000-07:00

Yes, I know this blog is usually reserved for all things movies, but I wanted to share some of my experiences from my trip to the Orlando resorts, specifically Disney Hollywood Studios, Magic Kingdom and Universal Studios Islands of Adventure. I'll be separating everything into sections, discussing the do's and don'ts we discovered, reviews of the attractions we did, and some other fun stuff along the way. Feel free to click the pics to make them bigger! Let's begin with...

The Drive
Yup, we drove from Philly to Orlando. With a four-year-old kid.

This didn't happen often, but
thank God when it did...

DO acquire a large car. We travelled with four people and we rented a Chevy Traverse, a large SUV with a third row seat. Well, the luggage took up the third row, but we all had separate captain's chair seating, so it was very comfortable.
DO pack your own lunches. We had a huge cooler filled with lunch meat and drinks, and an abundance of bread and snacks. This gives you the option to be healthy AND to save money!
DON'T be a driving hero. To be honest, I wasn't sleeping well on our stops, and although I desperately wanted to drive, I wanted to live more. Don't be macho, utilize your second driver.
DO obtain a portable DVD player. Seriously, if we didn't have this, I might have left my kid on the side of the road in Virginia. If you can't afford one, find a friend who has one and borrow some movies. Trust me, it's a life saver.
If you can afford it, DO break the trip up. Although my wife does not agree with me on this point, I am really glad we didn't drive straight through either way. Forget the kid, I don't think I would have made it! BTW, we had good experiences with a Holiday Inn Express and a Hampton Inn.
DON'T just stop at any rest area. Most of the ones we stopped at happened to be state welcome centers, and they are usually nice places. However, we did stop at a random place so disgusting the flies were swarming my son. No lie, it was scaring the hell out of him! Me too, a little bit.

Disney Hollywood Studios

View of Hollywood Studios form the entrance

We stayed in the resort, and it's great that they bus you anywhere you want. Be warned though, themore "affordable" resorts will lowball you in any way they possibly can, such as no fridges, no microwaves, and wired internet that'll run you ten bucks! Damn mouse...

DO rent a stroller. If your kid can fit in a stroller, GET ONE! The crowds are very large and dense in these parks, and the stroller keeps your child with you and gives them the chance to look around without trying to keep pace with you.
DON'T wait for anything you're not interested in. Case in point, we waited for 30 minutes to sign my son up for Jedi Training Academy. Once he saw he had to fight Darth Vader, he refused to do it. Yeah, that was worth it.
DO utilize FastPass. I won't go into the details here, but learn the ins and outs of FastPass ASAP. It will cut your wait times down significantly and help you schedule your day more efficiently. We did not quite get the point while we were in this park, but we learned from our mistakes and rocked some FastPasses in the Magic Kingdom!
DO get an autograph book! Disney has recently tweaked their character appearances, meaning they are MUCH more accessible. There was a whole indoor area where characters rotated throughout the day, and random ones pop up to do signings in various places. This was my son's favorite thing to do, and he filled his book!

Here are some capsule reviews of the attractions we did throughout the day. I'll be rating them on a scale from 1 to 5, 5 being the best.

Star Tours

This one just got updated, and it shows. It's now 3D and features 40 different locations that are randomly selected every time you ride. I wish we had done it more than once, but it was cool nonetheless. 4/5

Muppet-Vision 3D

This was one of the first interactive 3D attractions ever, and it still holds up as one of the best. There are Muppets in the theater as well as Statler and Waldorf in the balcony. If you're looking around, you'll even see the theater become affected by the carnage going on. There's rarely a wait for this, so do it a lot. It's awesome! 5/5

Yup, big dorks.

Studio Backlot Tour

This one is cool, even if it regards Michael Bay's Pearl Harbor as an epic masterpiece. You start with an interactive special effects demonstration, then you get to see some legit props and sets on the tram ride. You also see a desert set get demolished. Neat, but not spectacular. 3/5

Mickey must have had some
bad seafood...

Lights, Motors, Action Stunt Show

If you want to see some SICK stunt driving, this is for you. Great driving and impressive pyrotechnics make this a must-see in your day. 5/5

Pics do not do it justice.

The Great Movie Ride

This is charming, but it is in desperate need of an update. 2/5

Indiana Jones Stunt Spectacular

The original interactive stunt show, and it still rocks! It's especially cool for fans of the films. BTW, if you want to be picked to participate in the show, jump up and down and scream like an idiot. It worked for me! 5/5

I was in the show.
I had the evil laugh.

Fantasmic

The show so grand, they built an amphitheatre for it! Seriously, this is the greatest show in the entire resort. It must cost them $1 million each time they perform this thing. It's a journey through Mickey's imagination that incorporates movie clips shown on waterfalls, fireworks, stunts, and massive animatronics. Awesome. 5/5

That stage was friggin' huge!

Unfortunately we did not get to ride the Aerosmith Rockin' Rollercoaster because my son wasn't tall enough. We also didn't ride the Tower of Terror because I HATE that ride! We ate dinner at the 50's Prime Time Cafe, where the decor and wait staff are reminiscent of a family dinner in the 50's, complete with black and white TVs and being ridiculed by the servers. Good food as well. Overall, this park is more geared to the older audience, but my son still had a good time.

Magic Kingdom
Does the cornerstone of Walt Disney World still hold up after 40 years? Absolutely. The park still looks great and has some timeless rides and attractions. Wonderful for all ages, as was exemplified by my four-year-old son and my 68-year-old mother. Although it's much more geared toward the younger audience, it's impossible not to enjoy yourself on the attractions.

Still an awesome sight

The character meal. Fun, until you get
the bill. You mouse bastard...

DO all the rides you can, no matter how "kiddie" they seem. This is the theme park to end all theme parks, so the rides are clean, innovative and fun. Almost every park in the country owes something to the Disney parks, so ride everything; you might be pleasantly surprised.
DO stay for the Electric Light Parade. Yeah, it looks like it's been around for 20+ years (and it has), but it's got a certain nostalgic charm you can not deny. Plus, the kids eat it up. I wish they had more than one song playing during it though! UGH!
DON'T stay for the fireworks! It's not that the display is bad, but it's not worth the hassle of getting out of the park afterwards. I can't possibly detail to you how crowded it was getting out of that park! Seriously, leave after the parade.
DO take a minute to ride the monorail and see the flagship resorts. The monorail near the Magic Kingdom goes to the Contemporary and the Polynesian, two of the nicest hotels in the resort. Jump on the air conditioned rail and check out the shops and restaurants in these awesome places. Speaking of restaurants...
DO make meal reservations! Do this the minute you get to your room to avoid getting crappy meal times. Plus, you'll need reservations if you want to do a character meal or eat at one of the famous restaurants (such as Ohana, which we did not get to eat at because it was already fully booked two days prior!).
DO a character meal IF YOU CAN AFFORD IT. This is a selected meal where the flagship characters walk around for pictures and autographs while you eat. They are pretty awesome, but make sure your wallet can handle the burden. It will be a shock, believe me.

Dumbo's Flight

Hey, the four-year-old liked it, okay? That's all that matters. It's the typical go-up-an-down-and-fly-in-a-circle type ride. 3/5

There's a kid in there somewhere, I swear.

The Flight of Peter Pan

This was cooler than I expected. They did some really cool things with models and size perception to make it look like you were flying higher and higher over London, and then Neverland was all blacklit. Neat stuff. 4/5

My mom getting on Peter Pan. Exciting, isn't it?

It's a Small World

People complain about the song all the time, but it doesn't change the fact that this ride is an unbelievable and timeless experience. Truly a Disney staple. 5/5

NO LINE! What the hell?!?

Winnie the Pooh

I'm a self-proclaimed Pooh-pooer, but I will admit this was a neat ride. A little fast and twirly as well. Gets a point off because it replaced Mr. Toad's Wild Ride, which was AWESOME. 3/5

The line was cooler than
the ride!

The Teacups

The original tilt-a-whirl! If you can handle this type of stuff, you'll love it. I rode this alone with my son, and he LOVED spinning! 5/5

As if Alice in Wonderland
weren't trippy enough already...

The Haunted Mansion

This is probably my personal favorite ride in the park, mainly due to the nostalgia factor. The attraction has remained virtually the same since it opened, and the illusions and imagery you see are still amazing forty years later. A true classic, even if my son was a little scared. BTW, take the scenic route to get to the ride, it's worth the trip! 5/5

I think I was more excited
than he was...

The Jungle Cruise

Mark my words, if I retire to Florida, I will run this ride. It's essentially a pun-filled tour of all the jungles in the world, and it's hilarious. Another must-see. 5/5

Animatronic elephants are easier to care
for than the real ones, it's a fact.

Pirates of the Caribbean

Wait, it was a ride first? Just kidding. This was updated in 2006 to include the characters from the movies, and, to be honest, I was worried it would take away from the nostalgic experience. Worry not me harties, it's still as great as it ever was. The pirates are just looking for Jack Sparrow, but everytihng else is the same, with the exception of a cameo from Barbossa! 5/5

Captain Jack got us smiling, with
a little push. Okay, that was bad.

Big Thunder Mountain

It's great from a scenery and production value standpoint, and the ride is REALLY long! A nice little coaster that the kiddies can ride. 5/5

Ben's new friend on the left. She
kept him occupied. I wanted to
tip her!

Splash Mountain

One of the newer rides in the park, it is the greatest log flume ever created. It also happens to be one of the only places to see those Song of the South characters. I didn't ride it this time around; I gave my four FastPasses to my wife and son so they rode it twice in a row. However, I clearly remember that wonderful view of the entire park before you take the crazy plunge! 5/5

Doesn't look so bad from
this angle, does it?

Space Mountain

While my family was riding Splash Mountain, I waited in line for this classic rollercoaster. I am convinced they changed this ride, because it was way more intense than I remember. That being said, it friggin' rocks! 5/5

No pics of Space Mountain, so here's
Ben spinning a glo-stick!

Buzz Lightyear's Shooting Gallery...thing

The ride/shooter is one of the new fads in amusement park rides, probably due to the growing popularity of video games. It's good, not great. The best type of this ride is the Men in Black ride at Universal Studios. The ride's content is very random, and kids will definitely not be able to tell what the hell they're shooting! 3/5

What in the hell am I supposed
to be shooting at?

Monsters Inc. Laugh Floor

Easily the nicest surprise of the day! This is an interactive comedy show using CGI characters and live voice. I don't know how they did it, but the end result is pretty awesome. You can even text in your own jokes and they could use them in the show! Cool attraction, make some time for it. 5/5

Mike Wasowski!!!!

Just a sampling of the beautiful
Yacht and Beach Club Resort.

We ate dinner outside the Magic Kingdom this night at the Cape May Cafe in the Beach Club Resort (which is BEAUTIFUL). It was a fantastic but pricy seafood buffet. We probably would have saved some money by eating in the park, but the restaurants are part of the experience! Here's the deal; if you're planning a Disney trip and it doesn't include the Magic Kingdom, save your money. Also, you're a moron.

Universal Studios Islands of Adventure
Just a brief 20 minutes from Walt Disney World lies its stiffest competition, Universal's two movie themed parks. Since we only really wanted to see one part of the Islands of Adventure, we didn't bother with the other park (although I did kind of want to see The Simpsons ride, but I'll live). How does this park stack up against the Disney stronghold? Well...

Probably the last time I'll see
this, and I don't care.

DON'T waste your money. Seriously folks, do another Disney park, because this was a complete wash. The park is dirty, poorly labeled, and filled with enough rude and inconsiderate tourists to make it look like the U.N. on its period. By noon, all we wanted to do was leave. Avoid at all costs. Unless...
DO go if it's after 6pm and it's rained for a significant portion of the day. My wife and I went back around 7pm to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter and had a chance to really take in the sights and tastes (butterbeer!), and it was much more pleasant. We even got to see a show, shop and ride a ride. If you can get a discounted price, avoid the crowds and go later. However, I stand by skipping it and going to see Animal Kingdom or Epcot instead.

The Cat in The Hat

A cute ride that is very reminiscent of Winnie the Pooh in Magic Kingdom. Extra point for being a better book! 4/5

My son, the rebel, wearing
his Goofy hat in Universal.

One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish

Like Dumbo, but with a twist. You're flying over water, and the song that plays informs you random water jets can shoot you from below or above. You need to steer your fish up or down to avoid the jets. It was quite fun! 4/5

Seuss Landing was pretty cool.

The Amazing Spider-Man

An awesome 3D motion sensor/real sets ride that holds up well. The line is half the fun, being designed as the Daily Bugle. Great ride, totally worth the wait! 5/5

Look who showed up in
the Spider-Man line!

Jurassic Park River Ride

Once again, I didn't ride this one, but I had before. It's a big log flume with a steep and dark drop at the end. With dinosaurs. Last time I rode it, the T-Rex ate my brother's hat. Sadly, it was nowhere to be seen this time around. 4/5

Yes, those are binoculars.

Jurassic Park Triceratops Class

This is a neat seasonal attraction which essentially shows off an animatronic triceratops with a cold. It's okay. 3/5

Chris, the triceratops with allergies.

Flight of the Hippogriff

A tiny coaster nestled in the corner of the Harry Potter World. It's cool because my son could ride it, and even cooler because a nice attendant let us ride it again immediately after we finished. What wasn't so cool was my mother decided to ride this with us, and was petrified. Well, at least she tried. 4/5

Doesn't she look like she's
having fun?

The Wand Chooses the Wizard
This is a neat little show where a wizard pulls a kid out of the 30-odd crowd in Ollivander's and helps him select his wand. I wonder if the kid gets that wand for free... 4/5

Not gonna lie, I was jealous.

Dragon Challenge

Didn't get to ride this one either, but I had done this before when it was called Dueling Dragons. It's two inverted coasters that run at the same time. It's really intense, especially the part where both coasters head straight toward each other and shoot up in the air right before it looks like you're going to run into the other coaster. Very cool. 5/5

It's a cool sight, but go back
after it rains!

The Hogwarts Experience

This is a ride similar to the Spider-Man ride, but about ten times cooler and more intense. Much of the cast returns to star in this ride, and it only adds to the authenticity of the whole experience. Watch for the moving portraits and the sorting hat while waiting in line. Quick tip; go in the single riders line to cut the wait time down significantly. 5/5

Once again, an awesome sight
for fans.

Well, that about sums it up. Bottom line; spend more time in Walt Disney World and let the weather dictate your trip to Universal. Next time we go, I think we'll fly and stay longer...

Thanks to all who made it through this whole thing. I took me a REALLY long time, but it was fun to write, and I hope it was fun to read. I leave you with a pic of the reason we went in the first place. Despite all of his fussing and complaining, I think he had an awesome time. Isn't that what it's all about?

My son, the model.

NEW MOVIE REVIEW: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 (2011)

2011-07-18T08:33:00.000-07:00

I've been a HP fan before the movies. I was working at a now defunct men's clothing store when I bought the first book in paperback. I read it in about 12 hours. I then spent the remainder of that summer researching all I could about the boy who lived. That was 1999, and I was 21 years old obsessing about YA literature.

I've experienced the whole film series in the theaters with friends and family. I was lucky enough to spend some time in the Wizarding World of Harry Potter immediately before I saw Part 2 in the theater at Universal Studios Florida Citywalk. My wife and I saw a wand demonstration, drank some butterbeer, shopped the stores, and rode the Hogwarts Ride. Then we saw the end of this historic film series in IMAX 3D. Was it all worth the hype?

The Good

The decision to split the last book into two parts was a smart one. It gave the filmmakers some great opportunities to build the tension and really expand the grand vision for the final battle at Hogwarts.
The effects are fantastic, giving the audience the most action in any Potter film yet.
Daniel Radcliffe has really come a long way as an actor, and he really gets to show his stuff in this final installment. He carries the movie solely on his shoulders, and he does a great job. Thanks for ten great years as Harry!
David Yates is a fine director, and I was most impressed with the way he handled the pensieve/flashback scenes toward the end of the film. He expertly weaved scenes from all of the previous films to help the impact of the story. AWESOME STUFF!
It was great to see all of the cast members from all of the films band together one last time. We've been with these guys for a while, and I'm glad the series was given such a strong sendoff.
Some other great performances were littered throughout, such as Ralph Fiennes finally given the chance to show his stuff as Voldemort. I was also particularly impressed by Ciaran Hinds as Abeforth Dumbledore and Kelly McDonald as Helena Ravenclaw. These were two small but pivotal roles that were played fantastically.
If anyone ever thought the series was dark before, you ain't seen nothin' yet. Keep the kids away, this one is NASTY.
Alan Rickman needs to win an Oscar. Maybe not for this, but that would be cool. He is SO good in this, and I can't even say why because I risk giving something away!
Contrary to what other critics are saying, I thought the 3D was fantastic. No cheap tricks, just a great way elevate an already visually stunning film.

The Bad

Although I thought the filmmakers did a good job of keeping the viewers up to speed, I can see more than one person being lost amongst the HP lore.
I was kind of disappointed that Emma Watson and Rupert Grint didn't get more to do. Having been cornerstones of the entire series thus far, they were reduced to almost window dressing in this one. I know it's Daniel Radcliffe's movie, but I still wanted more of them.

It's been a great summer for movies thus far, and this is the best one yet, also standing as my favorite film of the year. It's not just a great movie, it's an emotional and exciting ending to one of the greatest film series ever. Bravo to everyone involved, you've made a grown man cry. Again. I'm a real softy.

Rating- 10/10

Coming next from the blog, I'll have an unofficial guide on how to tour the Orlando resorts. It'll essentially be a rundown and review of the rides and attractions I saw, and my personal ideas on how to survive and endure the parks. Don't worry, it'll be funny and have LOTS of pictures. See you soon!

REVIEW: Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987)

2011-07-16T18:40:00.000-07:00

Sorry it took so long, I've been running around some famous Orlando resorts for the past three days, and that cheap-ass mouse doesn't provide internet access! So now I'm sitting at a Hampton Inn in Fayetteville, NC where wifi is free. Don't worry, I'll have an extensive do's and don'ts of the Orlando resorts soon, but I have some reviews for y'all first, starting with this continuation of the DC Superheroes assignment. Here we go with Superman IV: The Quest for Peace! Was the quest worth the effort? Well...

The Good

I guess it's a noble task to rid the world of nuclear weapons.
Gene Hackman is in it.
Christopher Reeve IS Superman. He is iconic, and he will forever be known as the definitive Superman in my eyes. We'll see what Henry Cavill can do...

The Bad

Oh my, where to begin? The acting from everyone except Reeve and Hackman is a joke. Jon Cryer as Lenny Luthor? Kill me. Mariel Hemingway as, umm... well she was horrible as well.
It's apparent the studio had no money to back this movie, because the effects are awful and repeated over and over.
Nuclear Man? Wow, what a great idea.
The whole story is rushed and incomplete. If a film professor is looking to demonstrate what a plot hole is, see this movie.
I can accept science fiction as much as the next person, but Nuclear Man brought a human into space and she was fine. Not to mention his cape flapping in the cool breeze of an oxygen deprived black void. Ugh.

Just like the awful Batman & Robin, we are witness to a franchise killer. Rightly so, because this movie is BAD. Avoid this at all costs, because this is not the way to remember the wonderful Christopher Reeve's last performance as Superman.

Rating- 1/10

Next on the DC docket will be Batman Begins, but first I'll have a review of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 and my unofficial and realistic guide of how to tour the Orlando resorts. See ya soon!

Live Blog: Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987)

2011-07-10T20:33:00.000-07:00

Okay, I know Batman Begins was supposed to be next, but here's something special. I'm currently on vacation, and we're on a stop at my cousin Graham's homestead. Always one to enjoy a horrible movie, Graham and I decided to do a live blog together for Superman IV: The Quest for Peace. So we jumped on Skype and created this masterpiece you see below. So enjoy this extra special live blog from Georgia, and give me and my cuz some feedback! Oh, and before you ask, yes, we were Skyping in the same room together. Our wives called us nerds more than once. BTW, they also appear in this blog. Enjoy!

[7/10/11 9:24:55 PM] Adam: yo yo holmes...

[7/10/11 9:25:33 PM] Graham: Let's put our cape on

[7/10/11 9:26:06 PM] Graham: Classic 80's graphics intro

[7/10/11 9:26:22 PM] Adam: the credits keep getting cheaper looking

[7/10/11 9:27:15 PM] Adam: Jon Cryer before Two and a Half Men!

[7/10/11 9:29:20 PM] Graham: Satellites. Comrade Sinatra. Riiiiiiight

[7/10/11 9:29:50 PM] Adam: That satellite was moving awful fast for being lost in space...

[7/10/11 9:29:49 PM] Graham: Will Superman save them?

[7/10/11 9:30:22 PM] Adam: Recycled Superman shot #1

[7/10/11 9:30:35 PM] Graham: I like the female astronaut wearing lipstick

[7/10/11 9:31:39 PM] Graham: If only the cast from Smallville could make an appearance

[7/10/11 9:31:59 PM] Adam: Would it really help?

[7/10/11 9:32:08 PM] Graham: A green sauna?

[7/10/11 9:32:41 PM] Graham: Or a septic leak

[7/10/11 9:34:02 PM] Adam: Superman got some new powers, like making random spaceships disappear?

[7/10/11 9:34:07 PM] Graham: I think there are some holes in the plot

[7/10/11 9:34:45 PM] Graham: Random baby crib at the farm

[7/10/11 9:34:51 PM] Adam: And we're only 8 minutes in...

[7/10/11 9:35:23 PM] Adam: Clark Kent invented skinny jeans!

[7/10/11 9:35:32 PM] Graham: jeggings!!!

[7/10/11 9:35:58 PM] Graham: flowers growing in rocks. I believe this

[7/10/11 9:36:36 PM] Graham: Wait, it's Boss Hogg

[7/10/11 9:37:52 PM] Graham: I guess the rifles they have didn't really seem useful

[7/10/11 9:38:13 PM] Adam: Guess they didn't have the budget for an explosion.

[7/10/11 9:38:45 PM] Adam: Doesn't matter, the guards are still alive?

[7/10/11 9:39:14 PM] Graham: I think the subway operator ate the wrong burrito

[7/10/11 9:39:47 PM] Adam: Recycled Superman shot #3

[7/10/11 9:40:06 PM] Graham: Wouldn't all the rubber in those boots insulate . . . oh nevermind

[7/10/11 9:40:35 PM] Adam: Margot Kidder kinda looks like Skeletor

[7/10/11 9:41:47 PM] Graham: Are those seaquins or just an excess of awesome on her coat?

[7/10/11 9:42:07 PM] Adam: There's no awesome in this movie...

[7/10/11 9:42:37 PM] Graham: She glimmers

[7/10/11 9:42:49 PM] Adam: All that glimmers is not gold...

[7/10/11 9:43:51 PM] Graham: Was there any internet back then?

[7/10/11 9:45:08 PM] Graham: Is it a pubic hair?

[7/10/11 9:45:31 PM] Graham: Largest paper mache statue ever

[7/10/11 9:46:27 PM] Graham: I sit on my desk too

[7/10/11 9:46:35 PM] Adam: One of Superman's hairs can hold 1000 pounds, but can be cut by garden shears

[7/10/11 9:47:47 PM] Graham: Dear Superman,

[7/10/11 9:47:53 PM] Graham: Please fix all my problems

[7/10/11 9:47:56 PM] Graham: I'm too lazy

[7/10/11 9:48:02 PM] Graham: Amen

[7/10/11 9:48:14 PM] Adam: Best. Plot. Ever.

[7/10/11 9:48:57 PM] Graham: How much forethought was put into this movie? Who is responsible for this? Were things so naive in the 80's and why don't we remember this?

[7/10/11 9:49:54 PM] Adam: I think I actually used to like this movie...

[7/10/11 9:50:24 PM] Graham: I used to think Santa Clause was friends with the President

[7/10/11 9:51:32 PM] Adam: So , were they betrayed?

[7/10/11 9:51:41 PM] Graham: ghostly old white people are so scary. BETRAYED!

[7/10/11 9:53:12 PM] Graham: Is Clark playing hard to get or is he too embarrassed to admit he's a virgin?

[7/10/11 9:54:26 PM] Adam: Didn't he once erase Lois's memory of him being Superman, only to reveal himself AGAIN? What the hell is going on?

[7/10/11 9:55:07 PM] Graham: The only reason this movie isn't realistic is because everyone's hair is fantastic after flying around the damn place

[7/10/11 9:55:35 PM] Adam: Superman's hair can NOT be messed up by anything.

[7/10/11 9:56:48 PM] Adam: And now he erased her memory again! He's gonna lobotomize her!

[7/10/11 9:57:38 PM] Graham: He had a cup!!! I saw it.

[7/10/11 9:58:59 PM] Adam: Quote Robin: "The U.N. looks like Epcot."

[7/10/11 9:59:56 PM] Graham: Superman - "Dear Earth, I uh. I just can't ignore this anymore. The secratary from Uganda is not wearing a bra. I can see through her dress. I'm sorry."

[7/10/11 10:00:18 PM] Adam: Recycled Superman shot #4

[7/10/11 10:00:34 PM] Graham: Is that the same prop from War Games?

[7/10/11 10:00:50 PM] Adam: More like Spies Like Us

[7/10/11 10:01:14 PM] Adam: He has a big nuke net

[7/10/11 10:02:05 PM] Adam Tucker: 36 minutes in and all nukes are GONE!

[7/10/11 10:02:17 PM] Graham: Apart from the rest of the Movie, Gene does seem to pull anything off

[7/10/11 10:02:32 PM] Adam: Agreed, he might be the saving grace

[7/10/11 10:04:30 PM] Graham: Lex Luthor was the first successful "terrorist"

[7/10/11 10:05:06 PM] Adam: There's no concept of passing time in this movie at all...

[7/10/11 10:06:06 PM] Graham: More fallic shapes

[7/10/11 10:06:24 PM] Adam: Film's full of penis

[7/10/11 10:07:49 PM] Graham: I think I missed the reason all the missles were fired in the first place. I think I was distracted by penis

[7/10/11 10:09:10 PM] Graham: I think he tucks his pants into his socks

[7/10/11 10:10:31 PM] Adam: Quote CJ: "Mariel Hemingway looks like Ernie."

[7/10/11 10:11:15 PM] Graham: Leopard giraffe? I like Lex's sense of fashion

[7/10/11 10:12:51 PM] Graham: I will destroy those pants with my electricity hands!!

[7/10/11 10:14:25 PM] Adam: Nuclear Man? This movie is AWESOME.

[7/10/11 10:15:55 PM] Graham: I think this will be the worst date ever. I'm going out on a limb here.

[7/10/11 10:18:01 PM] Adam: Chris Reeve still plays the part well

[7/10/11 10:18:17 PM] Graham: Super powers don't require brains

[7/10/11 10:18:36 PM] Graham: Just really tight clothes

[7/10/11 10:23:11 PM] Adam: Nuclear Man must be a bad guy cause he roared!

[7/10/11 10:24:45 PM] Graham: Aside from this movie, everyone reading should know about the graphic novel where Superman lands in Russia instead of America. Can't remember the title
(edit: Red Son)

[7/10/11 10:24:51 PM] Adam: Recycled Superman shot #5

[7/10/11 10:25:18 PM] Graham: I think Superman just punched him in the butt. Why?

[7/10/11 10:25:43 PM] Adam: I love people just randomly falling off the Great Wall

[7/10/11 10:26:15 PM] Adam: And Superman rebuilt the wall with his eyes?

[7/10/11 10:26:58 PM] Adam: Recycled Superman shot #6

[7/10/11 10:27:28 PM] Graham: "Superman 4! Now with more hot lava!"

[7/10/11 10:28:17 PM] Graham: Finger nails are . . . getting . . . longer!!

[7/10/11 10:29:56 PM] Adam: Recycled Superman shot #7 and #8. Double the fun!

[7/10/11 10:36:51 PM] Adam: Lex must stack the excess of money to show his true power

[7/10/11 10:37:48 PM] Graham: F.A.Q. If in doubt, consult the glowing green crystal

[7/10/11 10:38:38 PM] Graham: Is Superman poisoned by the scratch or is this another case of plot holes. (that sounds a little innapropriate - plot-holes)

[7/10/11 10:40:24 PM] Graham: never before has a city being destoyed been so humorous

[7/10/11 10:40:26 PM] Adam: It's funny how this movie explains nothing to the viewers. Superman's scratched, Superman's sick, Superman's old, now Superman's fine. WHAA???

[7/10/11 10:42:58 PM] Graham: "In space, no one can hear you laugh"

[7/10/11 10:45:07 PM] Adam: Superman in the Moon... get it?

[7/10/11 10:45:30 PM] Graham: Your wife is so excited she fell asleep

[7/10/11 10:46:35 PM] Adam': Recycled Superman shot #9

[7/10/11 10:46:50 PM] Graham: CJ invokes shenanigans

[7/10/11 10:47:09 PM] Adam: Superman moved the moon, now the tides are gonna be totally screwed

[7/10/11 10:47:23 PM] Adam: Was Mariel Hemingway just breathing in space?

[7/10/11 10:48:55 PM] Graham: Hostile take overs explained in the last scene in less than 4 minutes

[7/10/11 10:50:50 PM] Graham: I hope Lex will escape again.

[7/10/11 10:52:11 PM] Graham: Well Adam, I feel safe again now that this movie is almost over.

[7/10/11 10:52:30 PM] Adam: Luthor just ended up being an afterthought here. I guess Hackman asked to be left out of the majortiy fo the movie.

[7/10/11 10:52:47 PM] Adam: Thank God it was short!

[7/10/11 10:53:10 PM] Graham: I love the glow effect on the font

[7/10/11 10:53:18 PM] Graham: Reminds me of the flea market

[7/10/11 10:54:19 PM] Graham: I'm signing out. Want a beer?

[7/10/11 10:54:52 PM] Adam Tucker: Hell yeah, I need it

Review coming soon. Thanks Graham, it was a blast!

NEW MOVIE REVIEW: Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011)

2011-07-04T11:55:00.000-07:00

photo courtesy of impawards.com

Is the third time a charm for Michael Bay's alien robot series? Let's find out:

The Good

The special effects in this movie are easily some of the best, if not the best, I have ever seen. I'm not really sure how some of these shots were accomplished, but man, it was unbelievable.
This is the kind of movie 3D was made for. If you're going to see this movie in the theater, see it in 3D. If you can't handle the 3D, don't bother.
This was a nonstop explosion fest with some bonus twisted metal thrown in for good measure. If you remember the good old 90's when every summer movie was an event, and you LIKED that, you will love this!
Some very cool revisionist history going on in the screenplay, most notably an Autobot crash landing being the sole reason for America to put a man on the moon first.
BUZZ ALDRIN MAKES A CAMEO AS BUZZ ALDRIN! So cool...
I think Rose Huntingdon-Whitely is VERY attractive. Also, she wasn't painfully bad like Megan Fox.
The last hour is probably the greatest climax in any action movie from the past 20 years. Yes, it's really THAT good.

The Bad

Do we care about the human characters? No.
Could those little Autobots be any more annoying?
The cool historical fiction accounted for about 1/4 of the script. The other 3/4? Lame filler.
Why does Michael Bay insist on using established actors in weird and awkward roles? John Malkovich and John Turturro are really odd in this movie.
There are some moments when stuff happens that makes ABSOLUTELY no sense, especially a moment near the end of the movie. I literally cocked my head in confusion.

If you liked the other two movies in the series, you'll LOVE this one. If you didn't care for the big robot action movie before this one will do nothing to sway you. Basically, you know what you're in for, and you'll have a hell of time if it's your thing.

Rating- 7/10 (most of this rating comes the last hour. Holy crap!)

Coming soon... Batman Begins live blog! Read, comment and enjoy! Thanks!

REVIEW: Superman III (1983)

2011-07-03T06:19:00.000-07:00

photo courtesy of impawards.com

I went into this one with low expectations, remembering how I enjoyed this when I was a kid. However, childhood memories are not always reliable, especially with movies. So how is it in 2011? Here we go:

The Good

The main plot revolves around computers taking over all aspects of the world. I must say this was a bit ahead of its time for 1983, the same year as the release of the awesome WarGames.
As always, Christopher Reeve is fantastic as Superman. He gets a chance to have some fun playing evil Supes as well.
Speaking of evil Superman, I really dug that whole fight scene. Superman's two identities battle it out in a gritty and violent junkyard fight. Very "comic book" of the filmmakers.
The story is actually pretty solid and focused, offering something different for a superhero who, let's face it, is rather two-dimensional. It takes a lot of balls to mess with Superman, and I'm glad they did.
Some of the action set pieces looked great, especially the chemical fire. They gave Superman a chance to really show off his powers.
Gus's idea to syphon off fractions of cents from his employer was pretty cool. So cool, they used it again in 1999's Office Space!
Robert Vaughan and his band of baddies are over the top, but they are entertaining, like the supposedly dim-witted blonde secretary and the butch sister. I also like how all of the knowledge they acquired about Superman they got from the Daily Planet.

The Bad

Richard Lester officially returns to the director's chair, and he brings a wealth of inappropriate slapstick humor with him, especially in the first ten minutes. Why?
As much as I liked the story itself, the computer genius responsible for creating the machine to kill Superman should not have been played by...Richard Pryor?!?!? Yeah, talk about a case of miscasting!
The use of a weather satellite to destroy Columbia? STRETCH...
Although it was cute and all, the Smallville/Lana Lang subplot was a tiny bit unnecessary.
The super computer climax was a bit silly and looked kind of cheap compared to the rest of the movie.

You know what? I kind of enjoyed this movie, mainly for the reason they wanted to try something different with the Superman mythos. The cool thing is they actually succeeded. Give this one another shot, because it's not nearly as bad you might remember.

Rating- 6/10

Taking another break to go see Transformers: Dark of the Moon. Expect a review in the next few days. Thanks, and comment if you have the time!

Superman III (1983) Live Blog!

2011-07-02T21:29:00.000-07:00

Superman III starring... Richard Pryor? Whatever, it's gotta be better than Batman & Robin...

1:41- Richard Pryor's doing his schtick. Will it fit in the realm of Superman?

3:11- Three minutes in and we already have a large amount of really lame slapstick. Ugh.

5:35- Okay, the guy ran over a fire hydrant and the car is flooding form the bottom? Whatever.

7:35- Turns out Richard "Gus Gorman" Pryor's a computer genius!

10:11- Did Lois just say computers will never replace print? HAH!

13:32- The fraction of a cent plot line made famous by Office Space makes its debut!

18:47- Well, they are blowing a lot of stuff up in this chemical fire.

20:33- They're actually doing a good job of building tension in this chemical plant scene.

21:40- Superman froze a lake and used it to put out the fire. That's pretty cool too.

24:00- Ma Kent passed away in this realm...

26:27- Did Gus's plan work? Umm, he got $85,000 in one week. Yeah, it worked.

29:04- Big baddie Robert Vaughan!

35:19- The computer subplot is interesting and a bit ahead of its time!

37:24- Okay, the weather satellite destroying countries? Now we've gone a bit overboard.

38:28- Satellite target #1? Smallville. Big surprise.

47:15- The abrupt tone shifts from sentimental to action to comedy just aren't being handled well all together.

50:49- There are some funny moments when Gus is messing with traffic lights and ATMs.

52:44- Now Gus gets to destroy Columbia...

57:25- Superman ruined the bad guy's plan, but they know all about kryptonite. I like how the bad guys know things about Superman from the Daily Planet stories.

59:36- So the satellite scans for kryptonite and the bad guy's scientists will duplicate it in the labs. Except he substituted the unknown element with tar. Uh oh...

1:06:14- Looks like the kryptonite didn't work.

1:08:16- Or did it? I like how they're changing his appearance with the messed up hair and the five o'clock shadow.

1:18:11- Now the reds in his suit are darker as well... funny.

1:19:01- Now Superman's working for the bad guys! Genius!

1:24:10- Superman's doing shots now. Believe it or not, no slapstick humor here...

1:27:23- The two halves of Superman's identity are fighting it out in a junkyard. I hate to say this, but I'm kind of enjoying this!

1:29:09- There's some good split-screen work here for 1983.

1:33:35- Damn, that was a long fight! But good Supes wins!

1:38:37- I feel dumb, but I bet this super computer showed in the comics at least once...

1:39:40- The video game thing is kind of dumb, but I do like how they're using the old school Atari sounds.

1:44:37- Looks like Richard Pryor is having a fit of kindness to save the Big S from certain death! Man, that character is pretty stupid.

1:47:13- The computer is now feeding itself. It wants to live!

1:49:15- The computer just made a cyborg out of Webster's sister? This is getting a little weird now...

1:51:18- Hey, that acid from the beginning is gonna serve a purpose and blow the whole computer up!

1:55:50- Awww... Supes got Gus a job! And he made a diamond out of coal!

1:58:30- And Clark got Lana a job!

2:01:11- We end with the flying into the sunset again...

Review coming soon!

REVIEW: Batman and Robin (1997)

2011-06-29T21:33:00.000-07:00

photo courtesy of impawards.com
Buy now and get a free cyanide tablet!

Okay, here's the story. Nippled and buttcracked Batman and Robin take on Mr. Freeze and Poison Ivy who are developing some convoluted and truly stupid plan to destroy Gotham. One villain is misunderstood but kills people anyway. Oh, Batgirl is in it and Alfred's going to die. Anyway, here's the review:

The Good

Mr. Freeze's makeup without his suit on was okay.
Batman had a funny line.

The Bad

I could simply say everything else, but that does not make for good reading. So...
The whole movie looks rushed and cheap, which boggles my mind since this was a major franchise and it actually cost $125 million to make. IN 1997!
Uma Thurman, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Chris O'Donnell, Alicia Silverstone, every extra, George Clooney's facial expressions; ALL HORRIBLE BEYOND WORDS.
Speaking of George Clooney, this was before he figured out he was able to act without always doing his "I have to look around and shrug every time someone says something" schtick.
Is ice supposed to wiggle like rubber? Didn't think so.
How could someone look at this script and say, "Yeah, go with it?"
I can't remember watching a movie that got so much worse as it progressed. By the 1:20:00 mark I really could not sit still.
Now that I mention it, it almost looked like the actors checked out about an hour in as well.
The blame can be passed around to almost everyone, but Joel Schumacher deserves the brunt of it. There is no way he viewed this final product and agreed it fit his vision, whatever that was.
So many plot holes...

Listen, I could go on for ever about this movie, but I don't want to. I want to forget it even exists. Seriously, I have never had people pity me for watching a movie before. I appreciate your thoughts, but let's not talk about this anymore. Let's just say Warner Brothers should be ashamed they ever let one of the most famous and important superheroes get this kind of treatment. Thank goodness for Christopher Nolan and Batman Begins...

Rating- 0/10 (That's right, there's not one redeeming quality)

Done, thank goodness. Next up is a live blog for Superman III. Stay tuned!

Live Blog: Batman and Robin (1997)

2011-06-28T20:52:00.000-07:00

Oh boy, here we go. You never know, maybe it won't be as bad as I remember it. Let's get to it:

1:25- Wow, more butt shots in the suits.

2:10- Could it be possible the new Batmobile looks even worse? Yup.

4:26- "The Iceman cometh!" The first of may unbearable puns by Mr. Freeze. I'm not writing any more down, just trust me they all suck equally!

7:08- Did ice skates just come out of their suits? Ugh.

8:53- Did those icicles just wiggle like rubber?

12:24- Now Batman and Robin are surfing and rocket doors from Freeze's exploded pod... why am I even bothering?

14:59- Good to know ray guns are standard issue for Batman now...

16:18- Joel Schumacher standard issue directing for villains and supporting roles not named Alfred? Do whatever you want, but make sure it sucks and you overact and chew scenery.

18:40- Bane created from plant venom? Really?

20:36- I killed Dr. Isley by dropping a table on her!

21:35- How was Freeze created? He fell into a vat of cryo solution. That's it.

24:54- Well, at least Uma Thurman looks good.

34:48- Wait, Elle MacPherson hangs with Bruce Wayne?

39:05- How can we sympathize with a villain who is so friggin' hammy?

43:35- Could they draw this awful Poison Ivy entrance out a little more?

45:31- Dear God, did Batman just pull out a credit card and say "Never leave the cave without it?"

50:37- It's not Batman, it's really just Clooney schtick in a rubber suit!

54:25- With so many poorly written characters, do we really care about Barbara, aka Batgirl? Nope, didn't think so.

56:27- I have to say the Freeze makeup without the suit is pretty cool looking.

57:04- Another black light scene? I guess because it worked so well in Batman Forever.

1:02:47- Wow, a Coolio cameo.

1:05:43- Okay, I'm taking a break from this crap-fest. Let it be known I did not watch this straight through!

1:07:17- Alfred's dying? He's the lucky one...

1:10:47- Did I mention how AWFUL Uma and Arnold are in this movie?

1:12:30- Clooney was still in his "I'm so cool I shrug everything off" phase, and it really doesn't work here.

1:15:47- A random grunt cop just yelled "My lungs are freezing!" Do I really have to finish this?

1:17:43- It's starting to look like no one is even trying anymore...

1:22:43- My God, with every plot twist the movie gets worse. Mutant plants overrunning the earth? Help me.

1:29:19- Oh my, is Barbara going to find out about Batman and Robin? What a shocker...

1:30:50- I only half care about this Alfred subplot, mainly because Michael Gough is actually dead.

1:32:59- Finally, a good line. "She wants to kill you, DICK." Nice.

1:34:20- As Bane walks around repeatedly saying "bomb," I recall my brother filling in the gaps with "This movie is a..." Funny.

1:36:04- Alfred preemptively made a Batgirl suit? God, this is awful.

1:37:55- The whole movie looks so cheap. Kind of like a small town haunted house. Except scarier. MUCH scarier.

1:43:59- Good to see the heroes had time to change into their new outfits before they saved the city.

1:55:36- Isn't it nice that Freeze carries around the cure in his suit? Just in case he reforms and can help someone? MAKE IT END!!!!

1:59:49- YES! IT'S FINALLY OVER!

Just wait until you read this review folks. Stay tuned!

NEW MOVIE REVIEW: Cars 2 (2011)

2011-06-27T14:04:00.000-07:00

Yeas, I've delayed the viewing of Batman and Robin yet again. I'll get there, I assure you. There's just so much other stuff I've been watching, and I'm having trouble convincing my wife to watch it (although she's been buried in the Harry Potter books lately, so that works as a good distraction).

Anyway, I'm a little pissed at the critics of the world right now. Cars 2 was doomed before its release. Why? For some strange reason the majority of critics regarded the original Cars as Pixar's weakest film, and the choice to sequel it would simply be a cash cow and nothing else. We as viewers know Pixar is the gold standard of animation, no matter how good some of the recent offerings from other animation houses have been (most notably Despicable Me and How to Train Your Dragon). Well, they still remain perfect in my eyes, and Cars 2 is still leap years beyond such animated trash as the Ice Age series and the creepy and crappy A Christmas Carol. Read on for the details!

The Good

No one will ever doubt the visual prowess the Pixar animators possess. This is arguably their best looking movie to date, with exotic locations and some extremely impressive action set pieces. Seriously, my jaw dropped a few times.
Some great new characters enter this time around, with special mention to Michael Caine's Finn McMissile, the super spy Aston Martin. Some other great performances by Emily Mortimer as another British spy, Thomas Kretschmann as the evil Professor Z, and none other than BRUCE FRIGGIN' CAMPBELL in a brief cameo as an American spy car.
Some great nods to the spy genre, including some ingenious car gadgets and some great Bond-esque music from the new master of the orchestral score Michael Giacchino.
It was nice to see the majority of the Radiator Springs gang return. They even did a brief but moving tribute to the passing of Doc Hudson (it's not a spoiler, it happens five minutes in).
Larry the Cable Guy SHOULD be annoying, but his performance is genuine and moving. Perfect for the film, especially since the majority of the running time falls on his shoulders.

The Bad

It's a little long, with some noticeable pacing issues about an hour in.
Although enjoyable, this movie has no emotional layers like some other Pixar masterpieces (Up and WALL-E immediately come to mind). They were definitely setting out for a flat-out action extravaganza, for better or for worse.
With all of the great orchestral music throughout the film, it was a little jarring to hear the lame country song over the end credits. What can I say, I REALLY dislike modern country music, especially when paired with Giacchino!

Ladies and gentlemen, this summer's critics are morons. First they destroy Green Lantern for not being X-Men: First Class, now they rip this apart because it's a money-grubbing whore of a film. Yes, I realize I'm a critic as well, but I don't feel the need to pad my reviews with large words that make me sound smarter. I'm just an everyday moviegoer, looking to have a good time with some escapist entertainment. While Cars 2 is not the masterpiece that the superficial critical population was expecting, it comfortably fits the bill as some great summer fun at the movies.

Rating- 8/10

On a personal note, this was my son's first movie at the theater. He did quite well, but started to lose it with about ten minutes left. Whatever, he had fun, check out the pic!

I swear the Batman and Robin live blog will be up soon. Comment away!

REVIEW: The Adjustment Bureau (2011)

2011-06-24T19:31:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I know. You're all chomping at the bit for the suicidal dive into Batman and Robin. Well, my wife and I decided to delay that Oscar bait a bit while we watched of the new releases of the week. I was inspired to write a review of The Adjustment Bureau right away (it ended exactly 13 minutes ago). What's the verdict?

The Good

An extremely interesting premise, centering around the belief there is an organization that controls everyone's path in life, making us all devoid of free will. However, when Matt Damon meets Emily Blunt, the fit hits the shan and all hell breaks loose. This was based on a Phillip K. Dick story, who seems to obsessed with the free will thing (Blade Runner anyone?)
MATT DAMON! Seriously, why is he so good? He truly elevates any movie he's in, and I'm anxious to see what will finally win him his Oscar (probably a biopic). Hell, he even made Invictus watchable!
The chemistry between Damon and Blunt is fantastic. Both actors sell the relationship, and it hurts to see them go through what they do. This movie is a good one to rent for the guys who have the women who love romantic fluff. It's romantic, but it sure ain't fluff.
Great supporting roles from Anthony Mackie (The Hurt Locker), John Slattery (Mad Men) and General Zod himself Terence Stamp!
Some excellent direction from first-timer George Nolfi (the dude who wrote the Bourne movies). Very Hitchkockian in his framing shots and perspective. Great subtle visual effects as well!
The movie juggles tone quite well. It incorporates some good humor and also builds the tension well when it needs to.

The Bad

The pacing suffers a little in the beginning, because it seems they give us A LOT of character development and exposition.
Although its tones are handled well, it does seem a little incomplete from a narrative point of view. I definitely think a studio bigwig got his hands on this and tampered a bit, which might explain it being shelved for a year or so.
If they were trying to be subtle with the religious undertones, they did not succeed. Although it worked in context, I felt like I was being bludgeoned by the Jesus hammer! Listen guys, I got it the first time!

Overall, this is a very smart romantic fantasy thriller (WHAAA??!!!) that flew under most people's radars. If you're looking for a major change of pace (after my DC OD, I know I needed a break) this is something you deserve to give a look. It was a truly pleasant surprise!

Rating- 8/10

There's my hiatus from the DC Superheroes. Sorry, I'll get back on track ASAP! Please comment and then go back and comment on my other stuff! Thanks!

NEW MOVIE REVIEW: Green Lantern (2011)

2011-06-19T19:39:00.000-07:00

Okay, let me get this out of the way right now. Green Lantern is probably my favorite superhero. I love the sci-fi backdrop of the Corps, I love the mythology, I love the fact that whatever you think of becomes a reality because of the ring. I own two t-shirts, a belt buckle and a limited edition pair of Green Lantern Chuck Taylors.

When I heard about the live-action version being produced, I sat and waited two years for it to happen. Once the trailers started pooping up, I found myself vehemently defending the film, no matter how mediocre it looked. When it got released this past Friday to poor reviews, I did not care. I was going to see it no matter what. So I saw it today in my Green Lantern garb. I embarrassed my wife. Good times were had by all. What's the verdict? Read on!

The Good

The visual effects were pretty darn good I must say. There were no real jarring moments of obvious CGI, and the Corps members all looked pretty awesome.
The filmmakers were very committed to the Green Lantern vision, which means they were not cutting corners in their vision. Oa was big and green, and all elements of the comics were there, right down to the guardians and the symbology of the Green and Yellow Lanterns.
Ryan Reynolds did a good job as Hal Jordan, and I'll even give props to Blake Lively doing a decent Carol Ferris. Mark Strong also rocked the joint as Sinestro (BTW, stay for the credits).
The constructs (the things that the Lanterns create with their rings) were very creative and fun, especially Hal's first appearance on earth.
Very effective origin story, focusing mainly on Hal's personal transformation into a Green Lantern.

The Bad

The screenplay was a bit jumpy at times, abruptly shifting from different subplots in an odd way.
Although the movie clocks in at a semi-short 110 minutes, the pacing was a little sluggish at times.
Peter Saarsgard as Hector Hammond had nothing more to do than scream a lot. The character's purpose seemed kind of lost since Parallax (the big bad this character had a connection to) was coming to Earth no matter what he did or did not do.
I would have liked the music to be a bit less "pop-rock" and more epic orchestral. Sorry, Superman has me jaded here!

Here's the deal; comic book purists will complain because of the missing elements. Critics will complain because it's dopey source material that can't compete with the other hard-hitters out there. Me? I can accept that movies and comics are two completely different forms of media, and they need to be separate when they are being critiqued. Yes, I love the Green Lantern comics, but I also thoroughly enjoyed the movie as well. Where do I stand in the pantheon of geeks and critics? I'm not sure, but I will say this; this is a good start to a new franchise, and I hope to see more Green Lantern on the big screen.

Rating- 7/10

Okay folks, the show must go on, so coming soon will be the Batman and Robin Live Blog! Wheee.....

REVIEW: Superman II: The Richard Donner Cut (2006)

2011-06-19T13:58:00.000-07:00

photo courtesy of amazon.com

So, was it worth the effort to bring Donner's original vision to the fans? Overall, absolutely. Here are the details:

The Good

There are many subtle differences, but the most apparent has to be the overall change in tone. Gone are the lame "humorous" interjections and the tone of the film is much better for it. It is noticeably darker and more menacing. Helps when only one director takes the helm.
There was a whole bunch of Marlon Brando scenes cut from the original, and they were all restored for this version. All of the Fortress of Solitude scenes make a lot more sense with Jor-El than they did with Mommy-El.
They fleshed out Lex's role more in this cut as well, with him discovering all about the Kryptonians while breaking into the Fortress.
Lois's sole purpose now is to suspect Clark Kent is Superman, and it seems to work in the character's favor. She is much less annoying this time around, and is actually kind of attractive in a previously cut scene.
The whole movie seems to flow a bit more naturally now, with some lapses in logic remedied from the previous cut.

The Bad

The largest problem is also the reason the movie suffers overall. Instead of the memory-erasing kiss, Superman reverses time again so Lois forgets about him. However, he goes so far back that the Kryptonians go back into the Phantom Zone, and who knows what else got erased! This opens so many plot holes I stopped trying to figure them out. It also makes the revenge scene with the trucker completely absurd, yet they decided to keep that scene anyway.
Some odd editing choices in the fight scene at the end. It was the only time I could truly tell they were working with "deleted footage."

Fans of the previous cut of Superman II owe it to themselves to track this down. It is superior in many ways, and really is more enjoyable overall.

Rating- 8/10

Coming VERY soon will be a brief hiatus for my review of Green Lantern, which I saw a few hours ago. After that, the live blog for Batman and Robin. Readers, give me strength!

Superman II: The Richard Donner Cut (2006) Live Blog!

2011-06-19T05:57:00.000-07:00

Here's Superman II, supposedly the way it was supposed to be in the first place. We'll see if there's much of a difference here. Plus, this is one of my two blu-ray DC movies. Not that you care. Right, awkward... Anyway...

0:48- In loving memory of Christopher Reeve. So sad...

1:40- We start out with a slightly revamped version of the trial from part I, complete with Brando!

4:07- It seems the blast from Krypton blowing up sent the Kryptonians Phantom Zone prison hurtling toward earth. Another question answered...

5:28- Instead of getting the full recap via opening credits, we're getting the important parts completely retold to us, with cuts of the Phantom Zone in between.

7:04- In this version the first missile Superman diverted from Hackensack into space frees Zod and his gang. With bonus updated special effects!

8:25- Zod yells "FREE!" and we're into the credits! Different, but cool.

9:57- E.G. Marshall played the president? I can't believe I missed that before!!!

10:45- It also seems that John Williams is receiving sole credit for the music in this cut. Wonder how that worked...

13:00- Lois suspects Clark is Superman a bit earlier in this one...

16:33- Looks like Lois got her test out of the way in Metropolis this time around as well. Jumped right out of the Daily Planet.

19:36- They explain Luthor's plan to find Superman in this cut instead of just mentioning a little black box. Nice!

28:55- They threw a little extra banter between Lex and Otis. Any extra time with them is fine by me.

31:17- They also showed Lex's snowmobile turn into a hovercraft. Another mystery solved!

34:01- Now Lex tampering with the crystals produces Jor-El instead of random Kryptonians and Mommy-El. Much better.

36:38- Lex learns about Zod in the Fortress of Solitude. This all seems to be working much better.

38:00- Miss Tessmacher found the bathroom in the Fortress!

40:15- They did not improve the effects when the kid fell. Oh well, I was secretly hoping they'd kill him off in this cut.

44:16- Interesting cutting room floor footage with Lois accusing Clark at Niagra Falls again.

45:45- Holy crap, she just shot Clark! With a blank! Go Lois!

49:30- Umm, what power gives Zod the ability to make a shotgun levitate?

52:35- I'm really glad all of the dumb humor is gone. It makes the Kryptonians even more menacing than before.

55:14- Zod just knocked over the Washington Monument!

56:04- Kal-El pleads with Jor-El for mortality AFTER he and Lois have done the deed. Interesting...

58:08- This Fortress of Solitude stuff makes so much more sense between father and son!

1:15:49- Thank goodness we get some resolution before Superman gets his powers back this time. Brando's part is bigger in this movie than it was in part I!

1:24:42- Some weird editing things going on in the beginning of the fight scene...

1:33:54- Lex wants Cuba now. Nice.

1:42:00- Whoa! Superman blew up the Fortress of Solitude! Makes sense I guess...

1:46:33- And he reversed time. Again. This presents more plot holes than the kiss!

1:49:33- The trucker scene makes absolutely NO sense anymore since time was reversed.

Look for the review soon!

REVIEW: Batman Forever (1995)

2011-06-18T11:45:00.000-07:00

photo courtesy of impawards.com
I'm sure they apologize as well.

Michael Keaton steps down, Val Kilmer steps in. Tim Burton steps down, Joel Schumacher steps in. It's a new era for Batman, so how does he fare? Yeah, not so good...

The Good

I have to say the backstory with Bruce Wayne finding the Bat Cave and the idea (please note I said "idea," not "execution") of the Robin origin are not too shabby.
There are some cool visual effects in certain parts, and the movie sure looks like it cost a pretty penny.
Although I'm not the biggest fan of it, the filmmakers really committed themselves to making Gotham look very different this time around.
I like Val Kilmer as Batman. He pulls off the ridiculous script with panache, a trait not really found in the rest of the movie. I would have liked to see him continue as the character, but I think he made the right move getting out while he could.

The Bad

In a complete contrast to the Batman/Bruce Wayne story, we also have the ridiculously stupid and tonally inappropriate villains. They are written as campy caricatures, and they are performed SO horribly it was almost enough to shut the movie off. Oscar winner Tommy Lee Jones simply yells the whole time, while Jim Carrey does his usual schtick, which does not fit this movie at all.
Whiny, poorly written Robin. Go away.
Why does Gotham City have to look like a 70's teenager's bedroom? We have black lights, neon flashes and architectural abominations that probably made Frank Lloyd Wright turn in his grave. I was waiting to see a two story lava lamp. Guess what? The Riddler's machine looked just like that!
The music, while not awful, was a bit over scored. Elfman it was not.
The movie had three credited writers, and it was apparent. The tone of the movie was wildly inconsistent. Were we supposed to fear these villains? I thought so at some points, but those thought were immediately put to rest when I saw Riddler and Two-Face hugging each other like toddlers in a moon bounce.
Speaking of Two-Face, what was THAT about? I'm all for creative freedom, but why purple? I guarantee the audience was not afraid of him.
Jim Carrey sucks in this movie. I wanted to say that a bit more nicely, but I just can't. He's awful.
Nicole Kidman? Hot, but terrible. Way to cover that accent Nic!

Not good folks, not good. I don't remember it being THAT bad, but wow, it stunk.

Rating- 3/10

I am currently watching Superman II: The Richard Donner Cut, so look for a live blog for that soon. Comment away!

Batman Forever (1995) Live Blog!

2011-06-13T11:16:00.000-07:00

Here begins the Schumacher era of Batman. Oh boy...

0:25- A Tim Burton production? How bad can it be...

0:56- These credits are oddly reminiscent of Superman...

1:27- Holy codpiece Batman!

1:44- The new Batmobile is LAME...

2:50- No more Billy Dee for Harvey Dent?

4:41- Chase Meridian? A name worth a million bucks! Get it? Ugh, sorry.

7:38- Well, at least Batman LOOKS like a skilled fighter now and not just a dude in a 50-pound suit.

10:25- This is the Tommy Lee Jones that won an Oscar, right?

10:57- Gotham City look like Mr. Toad's Wild Ride.

11:53- Since when was the Statue of Liberty in Gotham City?

17:17- I gotta say, I like the transport from Wayne Enterprises to Wayne Manor.

17:54- Bat nipples!

18:23- These lines are ridiculous, but somehow Val Kilmer is pulling them off. Nicole Kidman, however, is not.

22:30- Yeah, the Jim Carrey schtick really DOES NOT WORK HERE!!!

24:35- Oh boy, how am I gonna make it through this one?

26:37- Well, the camp factor is NOT a welcome addition to the series.

31:33- Nicole Kidman couldn't really hide her accent in 1995...

35:43- I do like how the Flying Graysons' costumes are the old Robin outfit.

38:32- Why the hell would Bruce Wayne yell he's Batman and not go do some covert ops? Oh wait, he does anyway. Man, this is stupid...

40:40- Should have called them the Falling Graysons...

44:11- The initial exchange between Dick Grayson and Bruce Wayne is actually okay.

46:20- Wow, way for lac of subtlety when connecting Bruce and Dick. Hit us with a sledgehammer why don't you...

48:02- Man, thank God Michael Gough is in this movie. He saves from being a complete loss...

50:37- Well, that was a lifeless car chase. Of course, let's end it with Two-Face yelling. Again.

52:12- Drew Barrymore? Forgot she was in this.

55:00- I do like the Riddler costume. I'm struggling for compliments here...

57:24- Am I seriously watching Chris O'Donnell do ninja laundry?

1:00:14- I'm sure supporters of this movie would say they're trying to achieve a comic book feel. Sure, a BAD comic book...

1:01:25- Uh oh, Dick broke into the Batcave! That didn't take long...

1:04:40- Now they're striking the parallels between Batman, Two-Face, and Bruce Wayne? Wow, haven't we done this twice before, and better?

1:06:43- A black light fight? This was a cool effect...in 1972.

1:09:35- An actual aspect of the story I like is how Batman's killing the Joker only made things worse for him. It works, and if it were the focus of the story this might be better. Instead, we have this unfocused mess!

1:11:38- I do like the mole joke, that was amusing.

1:18:38- Batman jumping off of the Ritz Gotham was a cool shot.

1:24:04- Val Kilmer's grin as Batman was also quite amusing.

1:25:27- Here's the inevitable "I'm done" sequence all superheroes go through.

1:30:44- This movie's version of the Batman origin isn't really THAT far off, finding the cave and all.

1:31:28- Yet another woman finding out Bruce Wayne's secret...

1:34:00- Did I mention Jim Carrey's schtick doesn't work in this movie?

1:34:26- Well, at least they blew up the Lamemobile...

1:38:56- Why did we need a shot of Batman's butt?

1:43:15- Let's give it up for the Batsub!

1:44:10- "Holy rusted metal Batman!" Okay, that was kind of funny.

1:54:22- Let's spell out superhero duality for all the dumb moviegoers!

Well, this ought to be a fun review to write. Stay tuned!

REVIEW: Superman II (1980)

2011-06-13T09:18:00.000-07:00

photo courtesy of impawards.com

As the son of Jor-El begins to accept his role on earth, a trio of old foes are released from their eternal prison and come to earth to wreak havoc and exact revenge on the son of their jailer. Will truth, justice and the American way prevail yet again?

The Good

Once again major props need to go to Christopher Reeve. I never realized how good he was in this role, just an absolute natural. He embodies all that is Superman, and perfectly plays the dual roles. This movie brought some major challenges as he had to play Superman coming to grips with Lois's discovery and his own mortality. Well done!
Terence Stamp as General Zod. Need I say more? He adds just the right amounts of humor and villainy to the role, and he stands as one of the great movie antagonists. "Come son of Jor-El! KNEEL before Zod!"
Some neat practical effects and miniatures, especially in the scene on the moon.
Lois is a little more fleshed out this time around, especially with her testing Clark at Niagra Falls. Please note this a nod to the writers, not the actress.
Although it goes by fast, the uprising of the Metropolis people when they think Superman is dead is really cool. It feels like something yanked straight out of the comics.
Gene Hackman returns and, like the first movie, steals the show with the greatest lines of the movie.

The Bad

By now it's common knowledge that this movie has two directors. Richard Donner, who is responsible for about 60% of this cut, and Richard Lester, who is responsible for the rest. Let's put it this way; you can REALLY tell if you're paying attention. Donner's contributions are almost identical in tone to the first movie, but Lester adopts a more campy and silly feel, which is VERY jarring at times. I noticed it primarily when the Kryptonians are destroying Metropolis. There are silly little lines of dialogue and slapstick comedy thrown in that do not make any sense given he severity of the situation. Oh well, I guess I'll explore that more when I watch the Donner Cut.
More plot holes! Since when was a Kryptonian power the ability to make doubles of yourself? Does Superman really possess the power to erase memories? If that's the case, why not erase Luthor's and spare the world of his villainy? Since when does Superman act on vengeance? Blatant mistakes there folks.
It was obvious the filmmakers couldn't afford Brando again, so Mommy-El got put in his place.
Some effects did look cheesy, even taking into consideration the age of the film. Most noticeably the horrible effects when the kid fell off Niagara Falls.

Okay, it was still good, but not nearly as good as I remember, and not as good as part I. I really think having the wildly different styles of the two directors hurt the movie a lot. We'll see if this is remedied in the 2006 release of Superman II: The Richard Donner Cut, which is also part of my assignment this summer.

Rating- 7/10

I've already started Batman Forever, so the live blog should be up soon. Be prepared folks, it won't be pretty...

Superman II (1980) Live Blog!

2011-06-12T18:16:00.000-07:00

I remember this being better than part I. Does my memory serve me correctly?

1:00- Back on Krypton, these three dudes broke a red stick...

4:07- Holy flashback! Wait, wrong superhero...

6:04- Ken Thorne composed the music? Who the hell is that?

11:38- Obviously French people can only speak in stereotypical accents instead of their own language...

15:33- Is that Uncle Vernon as a terrorist?

16:02- There's the French language... and there it goes again. Subtitles anyone?

22:17- Golly, Christopher Reeve is so swell! Seriously, he's knocking it out of the park as Clark Kent.

24:22- Luthor is wearing an ascot in prison...

26:44- Cool effect with the astronauts moving in slo-mo and the Kryptonians moving normal speed.

29:18- John Ratzenberger again? He's been upgraded to NASA!

30:00- Off to Planet Hooston!

33:10- Way to throw Otis under the bus there Lex...

38:20- Clark had his glasses off and, WHAAAA????? Could it be?

39:46- The kid fell? Let him go, he's a moron. Plus, the effects make him look like a stick figure.

40:56- Superman's in Niagra Falls, and Clark's not around. WHAAAA???

44:38- Couldn't afford to get Brando back, so we'll make Mommy the Kryptonian records keeper.

47:21- I love Lois's test of Clark. I especially love the way Superman/Clark handles the situation.

52:58- All that work for nothing, huh Clark? Damn fireplace. I love how Chris Reeve changes his voice from Clark to Superman!

1:00:55- The Kryptonians are awesome! Gone are the days of the completely remorseless villains...

1:01:44- Why is there a British kid in the Midwest?

1:08:56- Supes is poppin' the bubbly... wait, didn't he say he doesn't drink?

1:12:47- Cue trippy 80s sci-fi effects and... BAM! Supes is mortal! Oh, we'll be taking the suit as well...

1:14:20- Now that I'm mortal, let's take care of this virgin thing...

1:17:05- "Good. Now, kneel before Zod."

1:22:56- Terence Stamp is AWESOME!!! "ZOD!!!"

1:24:25- Betcha Clark is wishing he put the Fortress of Solitude in the Bahamas about now...

1:31:56- I love how Lois's hair is changing frame by frame.

1:40:16- All the silly background chatter, while kinda funny, is a bit out of place.

1:42:07- I really like the uprising against Zod when the people think Superman is dead. It's a quick moment, but a good one.

1:43:21- The stupid moments as Zod and his cronies are blowing the people away are really dumb. Hence the mark of director Richard Lester. More about that in the review.

1:45:03- Man, there is a buttload of product placement in this movie! Marlboro, JVC, Coke, it's like a two-hour ad!

1:48:09- Watch out! A big cellophane S!

1:49:03- Since when is one of Superman's powers projecting holograms of himself?

1:51:37- I still chuckle at Superman's little ruse every time I watch this movie. However, if we're going by comic book rules, Luthor never would have fallen for it.

1:57:55- Here's the kiss that erases memories. Man, Kryptonians have some interesting side effects from that yellow sun!

2:01:26- Love the diner scene at the end! Although Superman would never act on revenge...

2:02:39- The image of Superman flying with the flag is the very definition of iconic!

Review coming soon!

REVIEW: Batman Returns (1992)

2011-06-10T16:33:00.000-07:00

photo courtesy of impawards.com

Tim Burton and company had a lot to live up to after the first Batman movie, so how did they do with numero two?

The Good

Catwoman, how I love thee. Michelle Pfeiffer was fantastic in the dual role of Selina Kyle/Catwoman. Her origin scene is fun AND scary, and every meeting between her and Batman represent the high points of this movie.
The art direction/cinematography/direction that was so good in the first movie gets even better this time around. As my wife said, Burton got really creative with the lighting effects, and I think the opening shot of Gotham is brilliant.
Michael Keaton got a better chance to explore the duality of the role this time around, and I have to say I liked him better than I remember. I still think he plays the Bruce Wayne role a bit better than the Batman role, but overall he was a good choice.
If you thought the first one was dark, just wait until you get into this one...
Christopher Walken in an Einstein wig. Need I say more?

The Bad

Let's get it out of the way right now. The Penguin is pretty awful. First, the character is just plain disgusting for no reason, spitting black saliva and biting noses off. Second, Danny DeVito may have looked the part, but his performance was not very good at all. Some of his lines were actually making me wince. Bad move by the filmmakers.
The whole movie never manages to find the right tone. It tries to shift between dark and darkly comic, but neither tone works very well.
Although it clocks in at a little over two hours, the whole plot feels a little rushed.
The revelation that the Penguin has been planning to kidnap Gotham's first born sons was the big plot twist? Woohoo. Not to mention that lasts all of five minutes, then he decides to just blow everybody up anyway. Sorry, but that's poor writing.

Okay, it's not a complete loss. I think they might have had a better movie if they just did Catwoman (that's what she said). We still have Burton's signature style and polished directing, and that helps save the movie from being a complete disaster.

Rating- 6/10

Coming next, the live blog for Superman II!

BTW, I just joined a great site called LAMB (Large Association of Movie Blogs). They help nerds like me spread word of my blog to other, well, nerds like me! Check their site out and give some love to the other movie fans out there! Follow the link on my site. Thanks!

Batman Returns (1992) Live Blog!

2011-06-09T09:09:00.000-07:00

Next Batman, coming up!

0:40- Pee-Wee Herman as the Penguin's daddy?

1:17- The baby penguin just ate a cat...

3:18- Another memorable Elfman outing...

5:35- Gotham skyline? BAD ASS!

7:35- Walken's hair is quite... wild?

13:19- Epic Bat signal shot with Michael Keaton!

14:20- From my friend Jeff, "Fire breather burning the teddy bear? Early inspiration for Bioshock!" Nerds unite!

17:37- The abandoned zoo set is yet another beautiful set in the series.

21:33- Why does the Penguin have to spit black? Kind of takes away from the scary villain credibility.

26:54- Quite a bit of tension between Selina and Max here. Followed by a very sudden death! Still kind of shocking.

29:42- I do like the idea of Catwoman being undead in a sense...

33:42- LOVE the Catwoman origin scene! Michelle Pfeiffer is awesome!

37:56- Glad they found a chance to squeeze in the Penguin's monocle...

44:09- "I am Catwoman. Hear me roar..."

46:07- Well, it only took one whole movie and 46 minutes to show business mogul Bruce Wayne actually do some financial work!

48:33- Gotta love Walken chewing the scenery!

52:00- Exactly why was it necessary for the Penguin to bite the dude's nose off?

54:10- Yeah, so I don't think Danny DeVito is very good in this. I think they picked him because he's short.

55:45- Programmable batarang? Pretty cool.

57:24- WILHELM SCREAM!

1:00:10- Love the first Batman/Catwoman face off!

1:06:29- It's amusing watching Catwoman and Penguin mess with each other. However, Catwoman's bath was a little odd...

1:19:40- Seriously, every meeting between Batman and Catwoman is great in this movie.

1:20:15- It's the Bat Hang Glider... or something.

1:26:30- Nice! The Batmobile turned into a missile thing!

1:32:10- So the big plan is to kidnap and kill babies? Aren't we trying just a bit too hard to be menacing here?

1:43:36- Okay, now the Penguin is just plain annoying.

1:44:19- The Bat Boat enters!

1:44:49- It's pretty cool that they're using so many real penguins!

1:57:10- Finally, he's dead! I don't remember hating the Penguin nearly that much...

2:00:50- Would have loved to have seen Catwoman return. Well, I guess we'll get a re-introduction soon...

Review coming soon!

REVIEW: Superman (1978)

2011-06-09T09:08:00.001-07:00

Photo courtesy of impawards.com

"You will believe a man can fly." That was the tagline for this gutsy, big budgeted movie based on arguably the most well-know superhero ever. No pressure there at all. How did it fare?

The Good

The opening credits and music perfectly set the scene for the epic superhero tale that's about to unfold. I got chills watching it again!
They set up the sequel in a great way, introducing Zod and his minions.
The glowing suit trick on Krypton still looks cool.
The directing and cinematography is quite good, especially once we get to Kansas.
Wow, 50 minutes of origin story? What a gutsy move, but I think it was worth it.
Christopher Reeve may have his critics, but I will forever see him as the quintessential Superman. Charismatic, natural, and totally pulls off the suit.
Gene Hackman as Lex Luthor? Effortless. Also love Ned Beatty and Valerie Perrine as his cronies!
Some good visual effects that still look good by today's standards.

The Bad

Margot Kidder is too butch and not attractive enough for Lois Lane.
Did we REALLY need Marlon Brando in this? Seriously, anyone could have played Jor-El.
To reiterate my comment form the live blog, he can't catch two missiles going in opposite directions, but he can reverse time? I can't believe a writer didn't pick up on that GAPING plot hole!
For a 2 1/2 hour movie about Superman, I would have liked to see more, well, super stuff. Sure, the stuff between him and Lois is important, but come on! Use your laser vision and junk!
Some of the cars, costumes and stereotypes are a bit dated.

Richard Donner set the bar pretty high here for superhero movies. This is still a very good movie, and I do not hesitate to recommend it.

Rating- 8/10

Coming soon will be the live blog for Batman Returns. Stay tuned!

Superman (1978) Live Blog

2011-06-08T17:23:00.000-07:00

Here we go with Supes's first theatrical run!

0:45- Great little nostalgic opening with narration by some random kid...

3:00- Great credits and PERFECT score by John Williams. So fitting!

6:33- Long sweeping shot of Krypton = we have a buttload of money and we're showing off!

7:18- Don Jor-El enters as judge. I do like how they're already setting things up for a sequel with Zod and his cronies.

9:38- For years I thought Zod was saying, "You will bow down before me Jor-El. You and, one day, you ass!" He actually says "heirs." Damn brits.

11:28- I still dig the shiny suits. They definitely committed to the look of Krypton.

12:44- Gotta love all the family shields...

19:00- AHH! Our suits are glowing red! We should have listened to Kal-El!

26:00- Martha, the little naked kid just picked up a truck.

27:50- Even by 1978 standards, the nose on teenage Clark looks pretty fake.

33:10- Nice cinematography in the funeral scene. Who knew Kansas was so hilly?

48:00- Wait, 48 minutes of origin story? This movie would never fly nowadays, no pun intended.

49:27- Bye Mr. White. RIP Jackie Coogan.

1:01:20- Now we see why Gene Hackman got second billing over Christopher Reeve. He is AWESOME.

1:10:55- I don't care what anyone says, the flying stuff still looks pretty cool.

1:22:11- Christopher Reeve is so disgustingly charming. He really is a great Superman. Really effortless.

1:27:40- Wow! Metropolis has a statue that looks just like the Statue of Liberty?!?!

1:31:16- Okay, two things. One, this flying scene is way too long. I know they're going for the epic feel, but this is a little ridiculous. Two, Lois's narration is LAME.

1:33:39- I totally forgot that Clark toyed with telling Lois right off the bat! Cool detail.

1:38:35- I enjoy how Otis is ALWAYS eating something... and I like his theme song.

1:39:11- General Larry Hagman!!! I forgot about that too!

1:41:10- "Otis, would like to see a VERY long arm?!?!" That was for my bro.

1:49:55- "Otisburg?"

1:51:03- John Ratzenberger is a missile tech? Who ISN'T in this movie?

1:51:49- "MISS TESSMACHER!!!"

1:54:00- Just noticed how cool Lex's subway lair set is.

2:10:30- Good angry screen from Christopher Reeve!

2:11:12- Okay, wait. He's not fast enough to reach the two missiles, yet he can reverse time? PLOT HOLE!

2:14:47- Lex is bald after all!

2:15:16- And we end it with Superman flying in orbit, accompanied by John Williams. Nice!

Review coming soon!

REVIEW: Batman (1989)

2011-06-04T17:47:00.000-07:00

photo courtesy of impawards.com

By 1989 the comic book movie was all but gone. There had been some attempts at starting some new movie franchises in the '80s, but most fell flat (Howard the Duck anyone?). Then comes Tim Burton, fresh off a success with Beetlejuice, with a dark and risky new vision for Batman. Did it pay off?

The Good

I think the greatest thing about this movie is almost everything about it stands the test of time. It does not seem dated in the least (except for the quality of my DVD).
Despite the posthumous Oscar win of a certain Joker, I think Jack Nicholson gives an unbelievable performance. Yes, he was paid an obscene amount of money to do the movie, but he never seems to be walking through it. He is awesome.
It's striking how similar this script is to most of the successful modern day comic book movies. It is not afraid to focus on character development, which is what makes Batman/Bruce Wayne such a great hero. Not to mention fleshing out Vicki Vale's character as well, who could have easily become a mindless bimbo in the background.
The action set pieces are still great and truly memorable. From the assault on Axis Chemicals to the showdown at the cathedral, I was still just as hooked as I was when I saw it in the movies 22 years ago.
The Batmobile and Batwing are friggin' sweet!
Danny Elfman's score is probably his best ever, and fits the movie perfectly.

The Bad

Remember I said ALMOST everything is timeless? Well, the Prince soundtrack definitely dates the thing. Sorry Prince, you're quite talented, but you were not the right fit here.
It's still a little awkward seeing Michael Keaton not being able to turn his head in the Batman suit.

Yeah, this movie is still great after all these years. Very edgy and character driven, it set a new precedent.

Rating- 9/10

Coming up next, the live blog of Superman (1978). Stay tuned, and comment away!!!!

Batman (1989) live blog!

2011-06-03T19:34:00.000-07:00

Hey loyal followers! I'm watching the first movie in my Summer of DC Superheroes, and you're with me live! Here you'll be treated to my thoughts while I'm watching. This is experimental, so hang on!

1:35- Damn, this theme music kicks ass!

2:18- Wow, this DVD looks horrible...

5:21- Is that goon Buster Poindexter?

7:25- Lando Calrissian is Harvey Dent!

10:30- I think Eckhardt's voice is dubbed...

32:52- Michael Gough was a great Alfred. RIP.

38:00- "As you can see, I'm a lot happier." Heath was good, but Jack is the BOMB!

1:00:00- This movie has some great sets. The museum set is awesome!

1:01:52- just when I thought the movie wasn't dating itself, here comes Prince!

1:07:37- The first sighting of the Batmobile! Great chase scene!

1:11:00- Great directing in the fight scene with all of the flashing...

1:24:00- "You ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?" So many memorable lines...

1:27:33- There's something inherently charming about matte paintings. The city hall one is particularly cool...

1:30:21- An origin story in flashbacks? You don't see that in modern comic book movies...

1:38:20- Mother F****** BATWING!!!!!!

1:59:16- Wish I could type the sound of that laugh box... Bye bye Joker.

2:00:46- "He gave us a signal!" We just hope it's always cloudy...

2:01:53- And we end with a great Elfman fanfare!

Look for a review coming soon!

Hard to believe, but I'm BACK!!!!

2011-05-29T08:27:00.000-07:00

Hello to my five loyal followers, I have returned...

I know I have not updated this blog in ten months, and for relatively good reason. First, time has been a real issue, with work, grad school and things of the sort. The worst part was Erich and I even had to put our podcast, the Price Street Film Club, on hiatus. Hard choices, but now things can start changing a bit.

Summer offers wonderful things for those of us in the field of education, and I hope to take full advantage of the time given to me. In preparation for the summer, I have decided to embark on yet another movie quest, much like the Summer of Bond and the Summer of Clint.

*BTW, I never posted my review of The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. Suffice to say, it's a bona fide masterpiece of film, easily surpassing the previous two Leone films. Its scope is larger, its action more plentiful, and its suspense is unparalleled. Watching it made me immediately realize why Quentin Tarantino holds spaghetti westerns in such high regard. It is your duty as a movie watcher to watch this film. I actually feel bad it took me 32 years to finally get around to watching it.*

This summer will all about superheroes. DC superheroes, to be specific. We all know Marvel Studios is building an empire with their connected universe of film, and , for the most part, it is entertaining and intriguing (Thor was good, but not mind blowing, and I still can't wait for Captain America).

However, DC is adding a new hero to their roster this summer, and his name is the Green Lantern. Listen, I love the Green Lantern books. It's like Star Wars meets superheroes. I think the mythology and stories surrounding the corps are awesome, and I'm anxious to see how it plays out on the big screen. Previews have been cool, but they still leave me a bit worried about the final product.

photo courtesy of impawards.com

So, in preparation for the arrival of Green Lantern, I will be exploring the filmography of the two greatest DC superheroes, Batman and Superman. The Batman franchise has already gone through a reboot (quite successfully), and the Superman franchise is due for an overhaul next summer. I will be viewing all of the previous live-action big screen exploits of these two defenders of justice. In case you were wondering, here they are:

BATMAN

Batman (1989)

Batman Returns (1992)

Batman Forever (1995)

Batman and Robin (1997)

Batman Begins (2005)

The Dark Knight (2008)

SUPERMAN

Superman (1978)

photo courtesy of impawards.com

Superman II (1980)

Superman II: The Richard Donner Cut (2006)

Superman III (1983)

Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987)

Superman Returns (2006)

My viewing technique will be alternating between the franchises in the order listed. As always, expect some capsule reviews, ratings, and some best/worst selections at the end of the summer. Oh, and there's a definite possibility you'll be seeing a Green Lantern review up here as well.

Please feed me some comments, suggestions, etc. The viewing experience is much more enjoyable with more people! Thanks, and I'll be back with a review of Batman soon!

For a Few Dollars More (1965)

2010-08-08T07:02:00.000-07:00

The man with no name returns (this time calling himself Monco), but it's not really about him this time around. This story focuses on Colonel Douglas Mortimer, a strange man in black who is a bounty killer looking for the next big payday. MWNN is also a bounty killer, but with very different intentions. Once the wacko El Indio is broken out of prison, the two guns for hire join forces to end the reign of El Indio.

The Good- I loved A Fistful of Dollars, but this movie blew me away! Everything is on a larger scale, form the sets to the locations to the baddies. For a movie that was supposedly shot on a shoestring budget, it looks pretty darn impressive.

I love Clint Eastwood, and he's awesome in this, but the real star is Lee Van Cleef, who plays Mortimer. He is very subdued, and you're unsure fs his motivations for about half of the film. Once his reasons for pursuing El Indio are revealed, the writers still shroud the story in a little bit of mystery, and the final reveal isn't given until the last minute of the movie. Pretty darn impressive writing if you ask me!

I thought the violence in AFOD was pretty strong, but it was totally amped up for this one! We actually saw quite a bit of blood this time around, and El Indio actually killed an 18-month-old kid. Yeah, that's one crazy bandido!

My favorite scene is the first meeting between Mortimer and the MWNN. It's basically a five minute standoff to see who has the bigger penis, and it's a classic.

Overall, the movie is better paced than it's predecessor. That's a true compliment, especially since the movie is about a half hour longer than AFOD.

The music is an unbelievable achievement. Ennio Morricone does the score this time around, and it is a world of difference from AFOD. There is tons of variety, lots of great suspense, and no overscored moments like the last movie. Morricone is truly a master of the art, and it shows here.

The Bad- Although the movie is paced well, it definitely FEELS like a long movie. I think it's just a thing about westerns; they usually feel as long as their running time.

Sergio Leone did get a little too caught up in some of his establishing shots. I found myself saying "Okay, I get it," more than once.

Some actors were still pretty bad, but not nearly as bad as AFOD. Notable standouts were the old man who spit a lot and the Russian hunchback in El Indio's gang (who happened to be Klaus Kinski, the famous russian movie star).

Wow, these are some awesome movies! I've been blown away by the first two in the MWNN trilogy, and from what I've heard, the best is yet to come. SWEET!

Six-Shooter Rating- 5 out of 6 bullets (SO close to 6 though!)

Coming soon, the unsung classic (or so I've heard) The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly. Comment, and I'll be back soon!

A Fistful of Dollars (1964)

2010-07-26T19:51:00.000-07:00

"Yeah, the chicks dig stubble."

A man wanders into the town of San Miguel, simply looking to make some money. As he pits the town's two rival families against each other, he soon finds himself in more trouble than expected, and he single-handedly must finish what he has started.

Before I get into the guts of the film, I need to make it clear I had no idea what this movie was about going into it. I held no expectations, I read no reviews, NOTHING! Not having seen many westerns growing up, I am unfamiliar with the genre for the most part. That being said . . .

The Good- Clint Eastwood immediately makes his character badass, with the simple observation of some domestic violence and a sexy glance at a local woman. From there, he owns this role. With very little dialogue and a whole lot of strut, he defines the western hero (I use the term hero VERY lightly). It was awesome watching him work in this movie; one minute he takes down baddies with ease, and is getting the crap beat out of him the next.

For being the low budget "spaghetti western" that it is, much of the cinematography is quite good. Also, the costumes and sets are impressive, especially for a movie that is 46 years old.

The plot is intriguing, with some interesting developments and the overall character arc of the MWNN (Man with No Name).

Some pretty shocking violence. They really pulled no punches here.

The rest of the actors weren't that bad, considering the penchant for overacting during this period in film.

The Bad- Some shootouts seemed to drag on a bit too long. Seriously, how many people can they fit in one house?

Since the majority of the actors were Italian, most of the dialogue was dubbed after the fact. Henceforth, the only actor who looked like they were actually speaking the language was Eastwood. It was a little jarring at first, but I got used to it after a while.

Some of the extras milked their death scenes a little too much. Check out the massacre at the river to prove my point.

Overall, an awesome start to my Summer of Clint. A Fistful of Dollars was enjoyable, enthralling, and badass. I was thoroughly entertained, and I am anxious to see where the MWNN will take me next!

Six-shooter rating- 5 out of 6 bullets

Coming soon, the MWNN return in For a Few Dollars More! Stay tuned!

2010: The Summer of Clint!

2010-07-06T17:15:00.000-07:00

If you all remember, I like to embark on a movie quest every summer. Last summer was the Summer of Bond, when I watched all 22 Bond films and reviewed them right on this blog. That was a monumental achievement, and I had a buttload of fun doing it.

As this summer approached, I was contemplating on what to attack this time around. Should I delve into the Friday the 13th series, seeing as I just completed the Nightmare on Elm Street series? Should I attempt to make it through the Toxic Avenger Quadrilogy (on a side note, I watched the first one and about 20 minutes of the second one. No, I won't be finishing them)? Should I buckle down and watch the Police Academy series? The Alien Quadrilogy? So many choices!

Then I saw the Man with No Name Trilogy just got a rerelease on Blu-Ray. For those of you unfamiliar with this series of films, they are the Sergio Leone-directed Clint Eastwood definitive westerns. The movies are A Fistful of Dollars, For a Few Dollars More, and The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. As many people have sung the praises of these films for years, I felt it was time I checked them out for myself.

I now have all three of theses film in my possession, and I will be starting this new endeavor within the next week. If I am impressed with what I see, I plan on expanding into some of his other westerns, including Hang 'Em High (which was included in my collection), Pale Rider, and Unforgiven.

I gotta tell ya, I'm very excited about seeing movies I've never experienced before, and these have quite a legacy surrounding them. Also, being quite the Eastwood fan, I think I'm in for a good time here. Stay tuned folks, it should be fun. Let the Summer of Clint BEGIN!

A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)

2010-05-18T20:15:00.000-07:00

Well, what does Michael Bay do when a landmark long-dormant franchise (seven years?) seems to have run its course? Remake the damn thing, what else? Bay's Platinum Dunes production company has been responsible for rebooting several horror franchises, such as the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Hills Have Eyes and Friday the 13th. All of these reboots share one common thread; they suck. Does the NOES reboot follow suit? Well...

The Good- Hats off to Jackie Earle Haley for his very different portrayal of Freddy Kruger. I liked his more visceral and angry approach to the character. He especially got a chance to shine in the last 20 minutes. Good job Rorshach.

There were some pretty neat transitions and directing tricks from first-timer Samuel Bayer. I especially liked the dream/reality shifts. It was definitely a pretty flick to look at.

Some great gore; fans of the red stuff won't be disappointed.

The Bad- They credited two writers with the story and screenplay for this movie. WHY? With the exception of some name changes and a little more Freddy lore, it was the same damn movie as the original. Hell, even a lot of the kills were the same! Someone took the remake idea a little too literally.

Wait, I'm sorry, are you trying to humanize Freddy Kruger? A child murderer/molester? Sorry, he's only supposed to be a molester in this movie, but they question this fact during the course of the film. Why are you making us feel sorry for him? UGH!

I'm sorry, but jump scares every two friggin minutes does not mean a movie is scary. That's a cheap way to get teenagers to grab each other. LAME.

Could we have cared any less about these kids? Yeah, the actors in the original may have been bad, but we felt a connection to Nancy by the end of that one. Nancy doesn't even factor in to this one until 40 minutes in! Plus, they were really stupid.

Sorry, the Freddy makeup still looks like someone set a cat on fire. The eyes did it for me; they were lifeless and not scary in the least.

Best Kill- Well, even though it was a direct rip-off of the first movie, I'd have to say when Chris (the new Tina) ate it. Freddy essentially threw her around the room and then sliced her down the middle.

Overall, it wasn't a complete waste of time, but it still suffered from lazy remake syndrome. Maybe one day we'll get a good one, but this wasn't it. Not by a longshot.

Maqam's Razor Glove Rating- 2/4 blades

Coming Soon: The Freddy Awards!

Freddy Vs. Jason (2003)

2010-05-18T19:53:00.000-07:00

The last entry in the original Nightmare series is one for the fans, and, in my opinion, was the perfect way to end the runs of two of the most iconic horror franchises of all time.

The Good- All things considered, this was a pretty good story that brought the two franchises together. Everyone's forgotten about Freddy Kruger, so he enlists the help of Jason to start the kids back on the road to good old sleep deprivation. What he didn't count on was Jason being a little too good at what he does.

Oh, and what he does is FANTASTIC. This movie has got gore galore, and it's awesome. Spraying blood, severed limbs, bodies cut in half; it's got the goods in droves.

Both Freddy and Jason are back to being rather frightening. Not quite to the level they were in their prime, but pretty unsettling.

I really liked some of Ronny Yu's directing techniques, especially his use of color when lingering on Freddy and Jason's fears (fire and water respectively).

Dude, for someone who has seen all of the movies from both franchises, this is a fan's wet dream. Non-stop fun from beginning to end. The final showdown is one of the greatest moments in horror film history.

The Bad- Numerous forgettable roles from numerous forgettable actors. However, a former member of Destiny's Child does get skewered through a tree, so it's not all bad.

Some pretty obvious moments of CGI effects do take you out of the experience somewhat.

If you think about the way the story works, it makes absolutely no sense what Jason was used in the first place. My advice? Turn off your brain.

If you don't enjoy copious amounts of blood, gore, and nudity, stay away. This one's not for the squeamish.

Best Kill- This is really hard because there were SO many good ones. I'd say the final blow, but I don't want to spoil the ending. I'll say when the stoner kid gets cut in half. That was pretty sweet.

An absolute blast for fans of both franchises, Freddy Vs. Jason is the definitive horror crossover. Don;t miss it, it's a friggin blast!

Maqam's Razor Glove Rating- 3/4 blades

Well, that wraps up the original series! What a great time I had revisiting my childhood with Freddy at the helm. I'll be posting my review of the new NOES remake VERY soon, and then I'll be presenting the Freddy Awards, which are my unofficial best and worst of the series honors (to get an idea of what I mean, check out the Bond Awards). See you all soon!

Wes Craven's New Nightmare (1994)

2010-04-28T14:08:00.000-07:00

The next chapter in the Elm Street series goes down a whole new road, and it's easily one of best, if not THE best of the bunch.

The Good- The story, written by Wes himself, is absolutely awesome. Completely engaging, frightening, and fun, it follows Heather Langenkamp, who is being haunted by the real Freddy. As the movie progresses, we find out that Wes Craven is writing a new script that is mirroring the events in Heather's life, and even Robert Englund himself is being affected by the return of Freddy. The movie consistently breaks down the fourth wall, and it's wonderfully original and fantastic.

Holy crap, the new Freddy is scary again! He returns to a menacing and diabolical monster, not the plush toy we've seen in the past few sequels. He's also bulked up, got a new glove, and is wearing a trench coat. Wow, creepy stuff.

It's also great to see the scares finally return to the series. The great thing about the movie is it brings back the feeling that anything can happen; we finally don't feel safe anymore. The scares are plentiful, and a lot of them are thanks to the little kid (who was also the little kid from Pet Sematary...ewwwww).

Well, I guess that Heather Langenkamp took acting lessons, because she carries the movie on her shoulders quite well. Thanks Nancy!

The Bad- Although I'm sure it was no easy task to write, the ending felt a little forced and a bit out of place from the rest of the movie.

Some of the effects (especially the freeway scene) look REALLY bad. Come one guys, this was post Terminator 2 here!

Best Kill- When Julie, the babysitter, gets killed in the hospital, it is a great homage to Tina's death from the first movie. However, this time we see Freddy dragging her around the room. It was VERY cool.

This movie works perfectly as a companion piece to the first movie, and it also stands alone as a great horror movie. You really don't need any prior experience with the other movies to enjoy this refreshingly original horror flick, and trust me, you will enjoy it.

Maqam's Razor Glove Rating- 3/4 blades

Next up is the fight of a lifetime, as Freddy makes his triumphant return with the help of another horror icon, Jason Voorhees, in Freddy Vs. Jason! See you soon!

Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991)

2010-04-26T19:13:00.000-07:00

Freddy's back, but this time he's going for good. Only his daughter can bring him down. Oh yeah, and it HAS to be in 3D, or it won't work! Doesn't this sound so great?

The Good- I'm a sucker for cheap 3D tricks, and the last twenty minutes of this movie had them in droves. Lots of fun, even if it was completely unnecessary.

Umm, Alice Cooper has a cameo?

The Bad- Where do I start? This is set ten years into the future, and Springwood has been totally wiped out of children because of Freddy. Of course, the movie offers NO explanation of how Freddy comes back! Even the other dumb sequels offered SOME explanation!

The movie explains that pre-crispy Freddy started killing the children of Springwood because his daughter was taken away from him after he killed his wife. But he killed his wife because she found out about him killing children. Um, how does this make any sense? Not to mention the fact that adding the daughter actually humanizes Freddy, which the past five movies have tried to avoid in every way. SO STUPID!

Take some of the gore out, and the movie could have been rated PG-13. Freddy was basically a cartoon, and the kills, save for one, were just dumb.

Although some of these sequels are pretty bad, this was the only one where I was actually wincing because it was SO bad. When Freddy was killing a teen while playing a video game, I seriously felt bad for the director.

Best Kill- Not much to choose from, but I loved Freddy messing with Carlos and his hearing aid. It was funny, but still a little disturbing too, and it all ended with Carlos's head exploding. Nice.

Yeah, this is the worst of the bunch folks. Avoid it at all costs.

Maqam's Razor Glove Rating- 0/4 blades (yup, it's that bad folks)

Next up, Wes Craven returns to the director's chair with New Nightmare. Will it redeem the crap that was Freddy's Dead? How could it be worse? See y'all soon!

A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child (1989)

2010-04-24T20:51:00.000-07:00

Since being defeated by Alice in the previous installment, it seems Freddy's gone for good. However, Alice gets herself knocked up, and Freddy decides to get to her through her unborn son's dreams. Hilarity ensues. Oh wait...

The Good- Once again, high production values are on display in this one. The sets are inspired, and I especially liked the climax in the Escher-like dream world.

A few creative kills. Not the best in the franchise, but memorable nonetheless.

The concept of Freddy coming back in an unborn child's dream is cool. Once again, I repeat, the CONCEPT is cool.

The Bad- This would have been the perfect opportunity to get Freddy back to his disturbing and scary beginnings, but all the filmmakers do is put him on display as the comic relief yet again. They could have done some messed up stuff with Freddy and an unborn baby. Instead, they make him funny. Again. How can you expect to be scared with a protagonist as dumb as this?

Acting = horrible. Scares = nonexistent. Big surprise, right?

Like part 4, this one feels rushed and sloppy (the film was shot and edited in eight weeks). Definitely not as pedestrian as part 4, but still not good.

Umm, what happened to all of Alice's cool powers from part 4? She's regressed back to angst-riddled wussy teenager.

Is it just me, or is Freddy not scary in well lit scenes? The makeup just looks too rubbery to be taken seriously when there's too much light.

Best Kill- I mut say Dan's demise was the best. He is riding a motorcycle, and Freddy uses it to take over Dan's body. Wires and stuff then proceed to "meld" with Dan, and eventually turn him into a bloody skull-like motorcycle-man thing. It was pretty nasty.

Listen, I didn't think this was nearly as bad as some people were leading me to believe. Yes, it was lazy and very cheesy, but it made an attempt to tell a different type of story, so I give it props for that.

Maqam's Razor Glove Rating- 2/4 blades

Next up we have the absolute final last ever Freddy movie with Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare. Then two more movies after that! How in the hell does that make any sense?

A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master (1988)

2010-04-23T20:58:00.000-07:00

So, you know that point where you see a film franchise heading into really silly territory, kind of just resting on its laurels. Where the producers know it'll make money no matter how little effort is put into the next sequel? Enter The Dream Master.

The remaining Elm Street children are out of the asylum, but Freddy's out again too. As Freddy starts knocking off the last of them, a new friend named Alice harnesses their powers and prepares to fight the evil of all evils. "Mind over matter." Ugh.

The Good- The effects are pretty good. I actually went "Whoa!" at the effect where Alice gets sucked into the movie screen. It still looked cool, even by today's standards.

The concept of Alice harnessing all of her friends' dream powers is pretty neat.

Some very inspired moments of gore.

Robert Englund goes full-on campy one-liner Freddy in this one, and he looks like he's having one hell of a good time.

The Bad- See the previous statement. Freddy was once a menacing and downright frightening character. Now's he's the star of the show and pretty much just comic relief. You know when he shows up someone will die, swiftly accompanied by a stupid pun. He might be having fun, but the scares are almost completely gone here.

Again, the acting is atrocious. Is it bad to want Nancy back?

The kills, save for the last half hour, are uninspired, predictable and downright boring. Teen brought into dream world, teen knifed by Freddy's glove. Repeat three to five times. It did get better at the end.

The movie builds no suspense, has no scares, and is downright lazy. It's like New Line Cinema knew it had a hit on their hands (and it was indeed a hit) and just cranked it out. What a shame, because with some effort, this could have been a great follow-up to Dream Warriors.

Best Kill- I thoroughly enjoyed the demise of Freddy this time around, but the award goes to Debbie, who had her elbows broken, ripping through her skin in the process. As if that wasn't enough, she then began to change into a roach, getting caught in a trap which Freddy then crushed. Hats off to the creative team on that one!

Not good folks, but not the worst thus far. It showed some promise, but was a disappointment overall.

Maqam's Razor Glove Rating- 2/4 blades

Be back soon with Part 5: The Dream Child. Stay tuned!

A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987)

2010-04-18T20:10:00.000-07:00

Thank goodness someone realized how bad part 2 was and actually did some work for part 3. This one was a winner. A bunch of seemingly unrelated kids are in a psychiatric hospital, all having the same nightmares about the man with the glove. The doctors dismiss as a side effect of their mental illnesses. But when Nancy Thompson comes to town, it is revealed that these are the last of the Elm Street children, and they need to bring Freddy down. For good.

The Good- It's amazing what a budget and a script can do for a franchise! This one was co-written by Wes Craven and Frank Darabont, and it shows that there was some talent here. This is a very good story and had some awesome creative elements to it. Plus, it's the first time we see Freddy start to show his "lighter" side. Speaking of which...

Robert Englund has finally found the perfect balance of humor and fear to put into the part of Freddy. This is why he is a horror legend, and why kids today still know the name Freddy Kruger. Nice work!

The effects are quite good (for the time).

There was a ton of imagination put into the dream world segments this time around. I especially like the Freddy worm; that thing freaks me out! It was also cool that the kids all had super powers in their dreams.

The gore and scares have come back. Definitely not as scary as the first one (not much is), but a huge step up from part 2.

Some fun celebrity cameos from Dick Cavett and Zsa Zsa Gabor, as well as "before they were famous" roles form Patricia Arquette and Laurence (credited here as Larry) Fishburne.

The Bad- Although a HUGE step up from the last movie, the acting is still not very good. I know Heather Langenkamp comes back in New Nightmare, so I really hope she invested in some acting lessons.

Although the kids have super powers in their dreams, they barely got a chance to utilize them in the movie. I would have liked a more substantial climax so they could have showed off a little more.

Best Kill- There are some fantastic ones, but my favorite is definitely when Freddy rips a kid's veins out to control him as a puppet. Totally disgusting!

So this one totally redeemed part 2. It was a very different, creative and entertaining entry into the series, and it still retains its scares and gore.

Maqam's Razor Glove Rating- 3/4 blades (or, as the movie showed at some point, 8/10 herion needles)

After cranking out two in one day, I'll be taking a little time off before tackling part 4, The Dream Master! See you all soon, and don't fall asleep!

A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2: Freddy's Revenge (1985)

2010-04-18T18:04:00.000-07:00

It's five years later and a new family has moved into the Elm Street house. What does Freddy have in store for the new insecure and horribly-acted teen on the block? Well, in short, a pretty crappy movie.

The Good- I think the concept of Freddy attempting to possess someone is cool. He basically tries (and sort of succeeds) in taking over this teenage boy's body. Like I said, the CONCEPT is cool.

There are some truly inspired moments of directing here, just not enough to save the movie as a whole.

The Bad- I know horror movies aren't known for their great actors, but come on, these people are horrible! Case and point: have you ever heard of the mega-stars Mark Patton and Kim Myers? HERE'S THE REASON WHY!

The movie lacked any kind of consistency. There were plot holes-a-plenty, and I seriously can not tell if the kid was changing back and forth from Freddy to himself. Plus, the filmmakers did a horrible job of representing when you were in the dream world or reality. I think that was kind of the point of the movie, but it was still done poorly.

I was a little uncomfortable watching this movie, because the filmmakers made some odd choices. First of all, why did the gym teacher need to be found by Jesse (the teen boy lead) in a gay bar? Then, before the teacher's demise, we get a close-up shot of his ass getting whipped by towels. Umm, why? I hate to break this to you guys; Freddy hasn't gotten funny yet. It was played off as trying to be scary, and it wasn't.

Speaking of not being scary, not one thing in this movie came close to being remotely frightening. Even the gore factor was extremely low. This IS a horror movie, right?

Best Kill- I'm stretching here, because most of them were unmemorable. I guess it wasn't really a kill, but when Freddy actually ripped himself out of Jesse's body was kind of cool.

I could rant on this crap for hours, but I have to watch Part 3. I have good memories of that one, and I hope they hold up. Hell, can it really be worse than this one? Avoid at all costs.

Maqam's Razor Glove Rating- 1/4 blades (and it's most likely Freddy giving you the middle finger)

After I post this, I'm moving right on to Part 3. See you soon!

A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

2010-04-13T19:59:00.000-07:00

So here's where it all started. Wes Craven, who had directed some horror previous to this film (most notably Last House on the Left and The Hills Have Eyes) now brings us one of the most recognizable faces of the genre. What was the first time in Freddy's world like?

The Good- With a premise like this, you pretty much have freedom to do whatever you'd like, and Craven does so in a big way. The dream world that Freddy inhabits is creepy, unpredictable, weird, and deeply disturbing. Whether the teens are losing themselves in a boiler room, getting hanged in a jail, or getting caught in quicksand stairs, you are always wondering what will be thrown at you next.

I'm a gore hound, and this movie delivers on that in spades. The kills are very inventive and nasty. More on this later.

The story is very good, choosing to focus on Nancy and her dealings with Freddy and the dream world. I like how details of Freddy's life are revealed little by little throughout the film. They give you just enough to still be freaked out, but they don't rely on this info as a cheap plot device (cough, SAW, cough). It's also cool to see how Nancy decides to end the reign of Freddy once and for all.

Whoever decided on Freddy's look should be proud. That is one image you can not shake. The red and green sweater, the hat, the glove, and the horribly burned and blistered face. Man, that picture just gets in your head!

The ending still freaks me out...

The Bad- Okay, the acting is really horrible. The best acting is probably form Robert Englund as Freddy, but even he played it pretty straight the first time through. Heather Langenkamp as Nancy is seriously almost unwatchable.

The main theme is pretty good, but the rest of the music is dated 80's electro-trash.

The whole movie feels a little dated, but I can overlook that point.

Some shots seemed to drag on a bit (Nancy walking to the police station in her dream comes to mind).

Best Kill- Come on, it's a horror flick! I'm going to be awarding a best kill to one lucky victim in each movie. The prize for part one goes to... Glenn (Johnny Depp) getting sucked into his bed screaming. After a short pause, a geyser of blood pours out of the hole, gushing onto the ceiling. Just awesome.

Overall, still a damn good horror flick, and still scary 26 years later.

Maqam's Razor Glove Rating- 3/4 razors

I'll be back soon with a review of A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge!

Let the Nightmares Begin!

2010-04-13T18:37:00.000-07:00

I guess it was about a year or so ago I ran across a great deal on Amazon, and it was for the complete Nightmare on Elm Street Collection. I just couldn't pass it up.

Freddy Kruger and the Nightmare series were, oddly enough, an important part of my childhood. These movies, especially the first, was one of the first movies I saw on cable as a kid, and definitely should not have. Freddy invaded my dreams, and I told my friends all about it. Naturally, we couldn't stay away, so we watched it a few more times. Soon all the rage at Inglewood Elementary was A Nightmare on Elm Street, AKA the movie you needed to watch to be cool.

With the sequels (especially parts 3 and 6) Freddy became an iconic villain for my generation; all my classmates knew him, and were scared ****less of him. Yet we couldn't stay away.

I somewhat rediscovered the first one again back in 2003, when Freddy Vs. Jason was released. Still great, still pretty scary. Now, Michael Bay's Platinum Dunes studio is releasing a remake of the original on April 30, 2010. I have mixed feelings about this. I always hold out hope that one of these stupid remakes is going to be good. They got a really good actor, Jackie Earle Haley, to portray the new vision of Freddy Kruger. It even looks like they're going to give us some back story right from the get go with this one. On the other hand, I know it can't possibly be better than the original. The trailer has scenes that are shot-for-shot re-do's from the first movie. And, to be completely honest, the new Freddy kinda looks like a burnt cat.

Here's the problem; even with this tenacity, I feel obligated to see this reboot, just because of the history I have with the previous film and the character of Freddy. So, in anticipation of the new release, I will be watching and reviewing all of the original Nightmare on Elm Street films, as well as Freddy Vs. Jason. Then I will be seeing and reviewing the reboot.

Although not as daunting a task as watching every James Bond movie, this will still take some time and effort, but also be a heck of a lot of fun. I hope you all enjoy taking the ride with me. The first review will be up shortly. As always, comment and enjoy!

Movies I've seen recently

2010-04-01T20:15:00.000-07:00

So it goes without saying that you should be listening to the great podcast I am proud to be a part of, the Price Street Film Club (pricestreetfilmclub.mypodcast.com). That's where you can catch up on most of the movies Erich and I have been watching as of late. However, there are some movies I've seen I don't get time to talk about on the podcast, so I'll address those here in some nice and tidy capsule reviews. Enjoy, and please comment; this blog is feeling lonely...

The Informant!
Just finished watching this about 15 minutes ago. Quite an interesting film. No one can ever say Matt Damon typecasts himself, because he is doing stuff here he's never done before, and he's fantastic. This is essentially a film about a pathological lier who digs himself into such a deep hole there is no way out. By the way, it's pretty damn funny. Look for tons of familiar faces, including Scott Bakula, Joel McHale, Patton Oswalt, Scott Adsit (30 Rock), Tony Hale (Arrested Development), and Clancy Brown (Mr. Krabbs!). My rating- 7/10

Whip It
Yeah, the roller derby movie. It had really great performances across the board, with the standouts being Marcia Gay Harding, Kristen Wiig (yes, the one from SNL) and a great return to form from Daniel Stern! Typical sports movie cliches and pointless romance aside, it's fun. My rating- 7/10

Precious
Sorry, even though the movie was fantastic, I refuse to write the whole title (I think we all know Sapphire wrote the damn book by now). This was most notable for the performance of Gabourey Sidibe, who turns in a debut role that may never be topped, EVER. The directing was very good; you never left the head of Precious, and it helped you identify with her even more. The film was surprisingly uplifting at times, and I had a big grin on my face at the end. Mo'Nique was also unbelievable, and made me cringe every time she was on screen. Seriously, check this one out. My rating- 9/10

Surrogates
Okay, this one sucked. Great premise, but a horrible execution. Bad acting, bad writing, not to mention just plain BORING. The effects and production values were pretty good, but not enough to save this clunker. Avoid. My rating- 3/10

A Serious Man
A very interesting character study, with a career-making performance for Michael Stuhlbarg. Tightly written and well directed, the Coen Brothers seemed to have another surefire winner. Of course, that was until the last five minutes. Listen, I have no problem with films that want to make you interpret their endings instead of wrapping things up in a pretty package for you. I get it. But this movie ends so abruptly and so incoherently, it almost sours the rest of the great experience. The Coen Brothers need to get out of this habit they're in with their endings; I'm starting to lose faith. My rating- 6/10 (would have been 8/10 if they had ended the damn thing)

Some other movies I've rewatched recently (I'll spare you the capsule reviews here):
Fargo- 9/10
Zombieland- 8/10
Fantastic Mr. Fox- 8/10
Up- 10/10

Thanks for reading everyone. I'll try to be better at updating this thing. Please leave some comments and listen to the podcast! I know you'll enjoy it. Thanks!

The Hurt Locker

2010-01-30T20:23:00.000-08:00

I have come to the realization that I do come from a military family. My dad and his brother were Navy, their dad and my other uncle and pop-pop Army, and my cousin Marines. So I think the question needs to be asked; why didn't I join a branch of the Armed Forces? Please keep in mind I have nothing but the greatest respect for anyone who has or who is currently serving in the military. This blog post is completely selfish in its intent.

Here are a few of my reasons:

1. I'm too damn lazy.

2. I like to be the one barking orders, not taking them.

3. I don't like standing in lines for excessive amounts of time unless there is a roller coaster at the end of it.

4. Hollywood has me scared ***less of the military.

Yes, it's true, my deep obsession with film has tainted my viewpoint of the military, for better or for worse. Please don't think I'm an idiot; I'm well aware of the dramatization of the numerous war movies that have been released. However, there are many war movies that delve into the psyche of the soldiers, and these are the ones I believe might actually have a little bit of truth wedged in there with the crap.

Full Metal Jacket was the first time I felt this way about a war movie, and I have heard from numerous military friends that its depiction of boot camp isn't really that far off (excluding, of course, the sociopathic fat guy who shoots himself with his rifle).

A few years back I was having a great conversation with a Marine who said Jarhead was the closest anyone could ever get to actually being in the military. This is interesting because not much of anything happens to the soldiers in that film. Go figure.

However, I just finished watching what I believe to be the definitive reason I will never join the armed forces, but it also made me realize how much we should appreciate the people who make that sacrifice.

The Hurt Locker focuses on three members of Beta Company, a bomb disposal unit posted in Iraq. Not only is the movie brimming with some unbelievably tense moments, it also delves into the heads of the three leads.

I don't want to give too much away, but I do have to give props to the three main actors; they were all brilliant. Anthony Mackie plays JT Sanborn, a supplementary team member who plays by the rules and feels he deserves more. He delivers a speech toward the end of the movie that floored me.

Brian Geraghty plays Owen Eldridge, who believes the death of one of his superiors is solely his fault, and is being constantly analyzed by a base psychologist. I've never heard of this actor before, but I hope to see more of him. I think he had the hardest role to pull off and he did it brilliantly. He stole one scene in particular, but I don't want to spoil anything. You'll know when you see it.

Finally, Jeremy Renner plays Will James, the gung-ho leader of the this particular Bravo Company team. He delivers what I believe to be the best performance of the year (sorry Sharlto Copley of District 9, it was close though). He takes unbelievably stupid risks and they affect his team in the worst ways possible. Also, the choice he makes in the final scenes of the movie were enough to make me sick to my stomach. Once again, it was unbelievable to me that someone could do what he decided, but, as my wife said, there are people out there making those types of decisions every day, and we should be grateful they exist.

Man, what a powerful and thought-provoking movie. I highly recommend it. Just be prepared; it is one intense experience.

PODCAST!!!!!!

2010-01-14T19:56:00.000-08:00

Hi all,

The brainchild of myself and constant commenter/old roomie Erich has finally come to fruition! The inaugural episode of the Price Street Film Club is up and ready for your listening pleasure. You can get to directly by clicking here. Either download it or subscribe to the RSS feed on ITunes or Zune Marketplace.

Please keep in mind neither Erich nor myself have a lot of experience in podcasting, so this episode is a little rough around the edges. However, it serves as some great listening material on your way to and from work, or if you're just lounging around the house. Episode I finds us chit-chatting about our current viewings, and then we go into detail about the best films of the past decade, focusing on 2000-2002.

If you have any comments, either post them here or send us an email at pricestreetfilmclub@yahoo.com. Thanks for listening, and we hope you enjoy it as much as we did making it (except for the editing; sounded like Erich wasn't having much fun there...)

The Top Ten Movies of 2009

2010-01-03T10:01:00.000-08:00

Before I launch into my list, I want to share with you my list of movies of 2009 I have not yet seen but want to. It's long, so I think my actual top ten list will be altered over the next few months. Here they are:

Invictus (Morgan Freeman playing Mandela? Yes, please.)
Up in the Air (Clooney doing anything? Yes, please.)
Moon (Heard so many good things about this one)
The Hurt Locker (See above)
Paranormal Activity (Like Blair Witch but scary? Yes, please.)
Zombieland (Anything with zombies is gold in my book)
A Serious Man (Heard good things, and the Coen Brothers usually don't miss)
Where the Wild Things Are (Looked really unique)
Precious (Looks very intriguing, even if it's endorsed by Oprah)
The Princess and the Frog (I am a sucker for Disney hand-drawn)
The Road (Great book , and Viggo is in it!)
Sherlock Holmes (Robert Downey Jr. is unstoppable)

Okay, now let's see what DID make the top ten. Here we go:

10. Watchmen (Patrick Wilson, Jackie Earle Haley, dir. Zack Snyder)
This movie was being thrown around Hollywood as the non-filmable project, being passed through directors like Terry Gilliam and Paul Greengrass. Zack Snyder decided to stick to the graphic novel, and the result was a fantastic translation and quite a good movie. I wish he had taken a few more risks, but I still thoroughly enjoyed the film. Check out my detailed review here.

9. I Love You, Man (Paul Rudd, Jason Segel, dir. John Hamburg)
Most people will tell you the must-see comedy of 2009 was The Hangover. While that movie was quite funny, I believe I Love You, Man was funnier and smarter. Paul Rudd is becoming the new go-to comedy guy and Jason Segel is cementing his rep as the scene-stealer. Heck, the movie almost made me like Rush! Very good stuff.

8. Drag Me To Hell (Alison Lohman, Justin Long, dir. Sam Raimi)
Sam Raimi goes back to his roots for this gory, funny, and seriously disturbing horror roller coaster. Alison Lohman is great as a cursed loan officer who will be sent to H-E-double-hockey-sticks because of her denying a gypsy an extension on her house payments. Yeah, it sounds ridiculous, but I had the biggest grin on my face while watching this. In fact, every time I think about it, that grin comes back.

7. Coraline (voices of Dakota Fanning, Teri Hatcher, dir. Henry Selick)
Henry Selick, the ACTUAL director of The Nightmare Before Christmas, delivers his masterpiece based on a story by fantasy master Neil Gaiman. It is whimsical, funny, energetic, scary, and just plain wonderful. I'm also happy to say that the Blu-Ray version sports some pretty good home 3D as well. Warning: watch it before showing your kids. It's friggin' creepy!

6. Fantastic Mr. Fox (voices of George Clooney, Meryl Streep, dir. Wes Anderson)
Take Wes Anderson's quirky sense of humor, some truly inspired animation and a great story that young and old will enjoy, and you have, in my opinion, the biggest surprise of 2009. Although nowhere near as polished as Coraline, there is something that is very endearing about the animation in this movie. It's like hanging your kid's art project on the fridge; you know it's not great art, but it has a special place in your heart. Easily the best voice acting in an animated film I've ever witnessed.

5. District 9 (Sharlto Copley, Jason Cope, dir. Neill Blomkamp)
This year was a true comeback for sci-fi, and this movie was the most original sci-fi story I've seen in quite a while. Part alien movie, part social commentary, part ass-kicking action, this one's really got it all. Special mention must be made to Sharlto Copley, who made his film debut here, and managed to turn in the most memorable performance of the year. Kudos man, I can't wait to see you in The A-Team!

4. Up (voices of Ed Asner, Christopher Plummer, dir. Pete Docter)
Pixar always delivers, and Up was no exception. The movie will make you cry in the first ten minutes, then you'll be hooked. It's so much fun, and it also has some great character development and superb visuals. Can Pixar be stopped? Who knows! Adventure is out there!

3. Star Trek (Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, dir. JJ Abrams)
I have kept up with JJ Abrams ever since his TV spy opus known as Alias, and he rarely disappoints. He and his team rebooted Star Trek, and the results were above and beyond anything we could have expected. They used a clever time traveling plot to not only re-explore the origins of Kirk and Spock, they also preserve everything that has come befor it. Man, what will the sequel have in store for us?

2. Avatar (Sam Worthington, Zoe Saldana, dir. James Cameron)
I'll be honest, I didn't expect much here. What I saw was a revolutionary film; something that will truly up the stakes when it comes to visual effects and 3D film making. Yeah, the story is nothing new, but you won't care. The acting is great (save for Giovanni Ribisi, who should NEVER BE CAST IN ANYTHING), the action is masterful, and you will be cheering by the final conflict. This movie gives all skeptics new reasons to go to the theater to see movies. Cheers Cameron, you have indeed defended your title as King of the World.

1. Inglourious Basterds (Brad Pitt, Christoph Waltz, dir. Quentin Tarantino)
James Cameron may be King, but Quentin still does dialogue better than any film maker in Hollywood today. This time he takes on WWII, and the results are nothing short of fantastic. The suspense he can create is unparalleled, and this movie contains some of the best moments of Quentin's career. If it weren't for Pulp Fiction (one of the greatest movies EVER) this might be Quentin's masterpiece. Throw in a superior performance from Christoph Waltz, and you have the best movie of the year, hands down.

Honorable Mention:
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince- After a second viewing, I enjoyed this one much more. I still think it's not quite up to the quality of the others in the series, but it was still good.

Worst Movie of the Year:
Knowing- Wow, what a piece of crap. What started as an intriguing thriller with some disturbing images turns into a laughable religious allegory. I understand Nicolas Cage doing this, he likes acting in crappy movies. But Alex Proyas, director of The Crow and Dark City (one of the most original sci-fi movies ever) directed this turd? Shame on you.

Biggest Disappointment:
Public Enemies- Johnny Depp. Christian Bale. Michael Mann. John Dillinger gangster movie. Surefire gold, right. Oddly, no. Not bad, but should have been SO much better. What a shame.

Stay tuned, me and frequent commenter Erich will be unveiling our first podcast soon, which will be focusing on the best movies of the decade. Details to follow!

As always, comment and enjoy!

The Greatest Movies of the Decade Part 3: 2006-2008

2009-12-19T21:14:00.000-08:00

2006

5. Cars (voices of Owen Wilson, Paul Newman, dir. John Lasseter)

Lots of people criticized this movie for being a rare misstep in the Pixar history, but I completely disagree. I love the story, the visuals are fantastic, and it plays better each time you watch it (and because of my son, I've watched it A LOT). Pixar gold again!

4. Clerks II (Brian O'Halloran, Jeff Anderson, dir. Kevin Smith)

Once again, I do not hide my love for Kevin Smith movies. This sequel to his no-budget debut follows Dante and Randal 12 years later, and not much has changed. The movie has an unbelievable amount of heart and a very light tone, plus it's completely tasteless to boot. Probably Smith's most well-rounded movie.

3. United 93 (David Rasche, Gregg Henry, dir. Paul Greengrass)

An unbelievable achievement in filmmaking for Greengrass. The documentary style film chronicles the flight of United 93 and the chaos surrounding 9/11. The film is so captivating, you practically forget about the world around you. Truly a masterpiece.

2. Casino Royale (Daniel Craig, Eva Green, dir. Martin Campbell)

I regard this reboot as the best Bond movie ever made. It takes us back to his first mission as a 007 agent, and it is one hell of a ride. Daniel Craig is perfect in the role, and the action scenes are better than almost any in the series thus far. Had a good follow-up with Quantum of Solace, and I can't wait to see where they go next (SPECTRE anyone?).

1. The Departed (Leonardo DiCaprio, Matt Damon, dir. Martin Scorsese)

This was Scorsese's first Oscar win for director, and it was definitely earned, because it is one of his best. Career best performances from the entire cast, with special mention to DiCaprio and Mark Wahlberg (who earned an Oscar nod for Best Supporting Actor). Supremely entertaining, suspenseful and darkly funny, it earns the title of one of the best of the decade.

2007

5. Hairspray (John Travolta, Christopher Walken, dir. Adam Shankman)

To be honest, I really didn't expect a whole lot from this movie. I was unbelievably surprised at how good it actually was! I loved the music, and I was very impressed by the performances, especially from Zac Efron (seriously) and James Marsden. It's really a whole lot of fun!

4. Sweeney Todd (Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, dir. Tim Burton)

Another musical, but WAY different than Hairspray. This movie truly displays that Johnny Depp is capable of doing anything. This is a pitch black gore-fest, but still unbelievably entertaining and musically wonderful. Tim Burton just keeps getting better!

3. Superbad (Michael Cera, Jonah Hill, dir. Greg Motolla)

This hilarious teen comedy will live on as one of the defining movies of the 2000's. I put it up there with Fast Times at Ridgemont High and Dazed as Confused in its truthful and funny portrayal of a new generation of teens. I AM MCLOVIN!!!!

2. There Will Be Blood (Daniel Day-Lewis, Ciaran Hinds, dir. Paul Thomas Anderson)

I know anything Daniel Day-Lewis touches turns to gold, but I believe this is truly his greatest role EVER. This is a complex, dark, beautiful and superbly entertaining character study. The musical score by Radiohead's Jonny Greenwood is also wonderful. This really is required viewing for movie fans.

1. Grindhouse (Rose McGowan, Kurt Russell, dirs. Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino)

Although it was a financial bomb, this double feature from Robert and Quentin is an unrelenting experience; a wet dream for movie fanatics. Rodriguez directs Planet Terror, a zombie gore-fest. Tarantino directs Death Proof, a serial killer tale with one of the best car chases put on film in the past ten years. Add to that fake trailers before and in between the features, and you have, in my opinion, the best time you can ever have in a movie theater. I may never have a better movie-going experience again in my life.

2008

5. Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr., Gwyneth Paltrow, dir. Jon Favreau)

The comic book movie gets another overhaul with Marvel Studios at the helm. Downey Jr. is pitch-perfect as Tony Stark, the kidnapped arms mogul who reforms and builds a really kick-ass suit of armor. A great story, and supposedly a beginning to a connected franchise of comic book movies. Geeks unite!

4. Gran Torino (Clint Eastwood, Emily Watson, dir. by Clint Eastwood)

Yes, more Eastwood. In what has been said to be his last acting role, Eastwood shines as an angry old Korean War vet who just lost his wife. When the next door neighbor is caught trying to steal his titular car, he begins to understand the traditions of the Hmong people and becomes a sort of father figure to the aforementioned carjacker. Very tragic and VERY funny, this is Eastwood at his best, in front and behind the camera.

3. The Dark Knight (Christian Bale, Heath Ledger, dir. Christopher Nolan)

Speaking of comic book movies, here is the greatest one of all time. Everything in this sequel is near perfect, from the gritty story to the unbelievable action to the unforgettable Oscar-winning performance from Heath Ledger. Just fantastic.

2. WALL-E (voices of Ben Burtt, Jeff Garlin, dir. Andrew Stanton)

Here is what I consider to be Pixar's greatest achievement. The majority of the movie is silent, yet the characters are more charismatic and vibrant than most of the humans in Hollywood's past. Top it all off with a great moral and "subtle" jab at obesity and you have Pixar's undisputed masterpiece.

1. Slumdog Millionaire (Dev Patel, Freida Pinto, dor. Danny Boyle)

The worthy winner of the Best Picture Oscar. Fantastically original, funny, riveting, touching, and vibrantly directed. Topped off with a fabulous soundtrack and some unforgettable locales, and you have a memorable journey that stays with you long after your first viewing.

The Greatest Movies of the Decade Part 2: 2003-2005

2009-12-13T18:56:00.000-08:00

2003

5. Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World (Russell Crowe, Paul Bettany, dir. Peter Weir)

I have never been the biggest fan of Russell Crowe, but when he's on he is ON. This was one of his finest outings, as well as a beautifully shot and structured adventure. Exciting and authentic, and destined to be a timeless film.

4. A Mighty Wind (Eugene Levy, Michael McKean, dir. Christopher Guest)

Of all the Guest directed mockumentaries (Best in Show, Waiting for Guffman), this one has the most heart. Although still preserving the mostly improvised feel, this one not only makes you laugh your ass off, it is very touching and has some great music. I just love these movies!

3. Finding Nemo (voices of Albert Brooks, Ellen DeGeneres, dir. Andrew Stanton)

Regarded by many as Pixar's greatest, Nemo is definitely one of the most memorable Disney outings of the decade. DeGeneres's voice work is the highpoint of this one for me; the whale speaking part cracks me up every time. I dare you to watch this with your kids and have them never refer to a clown fish as Nemo. I DARE you.

2. Kill Bill Vol. 1 (Uma Thurman, David Carradine, dir. Quentin Tarantino)

For me, anything Quentin does is gold. Each of his projects is drastically different, but still reeks of his style. His take on kung fu movies is another stroke of genius, masterfully mixing his signature dialogue with some outrageous violence. Also, Uma is great!

1. Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (Orlando Bloom, Sean Astin, dir. Peter Jackson)

Really, I don't need to say anything else about this, right? All three movies are unbelievable, but this one is truly the best of the three.

2004

5. Million Dollar Baby (Clint Eastwood, Hilary Swank, dir. Clint Eastwood)

Clint strikes again! Many people have criticized this movie as being unoriginal and manipulative, but I was very taken with it. I love Eastwood's style of directing, and the performances really helped bring this one above standard fare.

4. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (Daniel Radcliffe, Gary Oldman, dir. Alfonso Cuaron)

A new director was the perfect thing to change the whole style of the HP series. There was a definite turn to the dark side here, but the magic and whimsy is still maintained. Also, this is the first time I viewed the three leads as actors, not just fillers.

3. Shaun of the Dead (Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, dir. Edgar Wright)

An instant classic! This masterpiece takes elements from various genres, such as horror, rom-com and british comedy and perfectly blends them together into one of the most original and enjoyable movies of the decade. I've seen this over 20 times, and I laugh harder every time.

2. Kill Bill Vol. 2 (Uma Thurman, David Carradine, dir. Quentin Tarantino)

The second part of Quentin's kung fu opus is a very different animal than part one. This one is calmer and much more focused on suspense than flat out action. Most people prefer part one, but part two is where the meat of this story lies, and it is my personal preference.

1. The Incredibles (voices of Craig T. Nelson, Holly Hunter, dir. Brad Bird)

I consider this the turning point for animation; it ceased to be a genre and became a medium. This is such a mature and ingenious story, you'd never even consider it was meant as a children's film. In fact, this movie has elements that will appeal to almost any demographic. It is a true film, and I applaud Pixar.

2005

5. Munich (Eric Bana, Daniel Craig, dir. Steven Spielberg)

Wow, lots of love for Spielberg on this list. This movie is about the hostage situation at the 1972 Olympics, and it is very suspenseful and moving. Also, Eric Band gives an absolutely brilliant performance.

4. Wallace and Gromit: Curse of the Were-Rabbit (voices of Peter Sallis, Ralph Fiennes, dir. Nick Park)

There is no way anyone could watch this movie and not have a huge grin on your face. It is an absolute blast, and it has tons of heart and is hilarious to boot. It also won a well-deserved Best Animated Film Oscar.

3. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (Johnny Depp, Freddie Highmore, dir. Tim Burton)

Some people found this remake creepy and unnecessary. I love the way it stuck to the book, I really liked the new story line with Willy Wonka's father, and the musical numbers are unbelievably awesome! Seriously, the first time I saw the Augustus Gloop song I broke into applause. So good!

2. Batman Begins (Christian Bale, Michael Caine, dir. Christopher Nolan)

Here's the movie that redefined what a comic book movie could do. We also see how good Christian Bale can be. Top that off with some awesome effects and a great origin story and we have the spectacular rebirth of the greatest superhero of all time.

1. Hustle & Flow (Terence Howard, Anthony Anderson, dir. Craig Brewer)

It may have a traditional "underdog" story, but it's rarely been done this well. Terence Howard delivers the performance of his career as a pimp who looks to go straight by becoming a hip-hop star. The story of his journey is heartfelt and tough to watch, but deserves to be seen by everyone. Easily one of the best music movies ever made.

The Greatest Movies of the Decade Part 1: 2000-2002

2009-12-13T10:14:00.000-08:00

Here's a blog that'll probably take me multiple days to finish, but I feel it necessary to spend some time on this one. As I explained in a previous post, I didn't really start "watching" movies until 1994, when Pulp Fiction was released. Since then, it has been one of my favorite things to do. My collection has now become what most would call out of control (including my wife). So, since I have seen a disgusting amount of great movies in the past ten years, I figured it was time to do some research and rank my five favorites from each year, starting at 2000 and going to 2009. As always, please comment and enjoy, and thanks for reading!

2000

5. Space Cowboys (Clint Eastwood, Tommy Lee Jones, dir. Clint Eastwood)

By this point in his career, Clint had directed some heavy material and had established himself as a true badass. This movie showed the old dude could still have some fun. Watching these four old guys bicker back and forth during training and in space is a hell of a lot of fun, and I have gone back and enjoyed this film many times since I saw it in the theaters.

4. Cast Away (Tom Hanks, Helen Hunt, dir. Robert Zemeckis)

Before Zemeckis got all CGI-happy he made a surprisingly intimate and enjoyable character study starring the most popular actor in Hollywood. Tom Hanks gives what I think is the performance of his career, pretty much carrying the whole movie himself. It also posed a question to dumb moviegoers everywhere; what was in the box?????

3. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (Chow-Yun Fat, Michelle Yeoh, dir. Ang Lee)

Here's the movie that single-handedly redefined what a martial arts movie should look like. It has more in common with a ballet than a kung fu movie, and it is quite a sight to behold. So many imitators since, but none have even come close to this masterpiece.

2. American Psycho (Christian Bale, Jared Leto, dir. Mary Harron)

This is a great mind**** of a movie. Is it all in his head? Are these people dead? Can he fit a cat in an ATM? More importantly, this introduced Christian Bale to the masses and showed the early work of an actor destined to become one of the greats.

1. High Fidelity (John Cusack, Jack Black, dir. Stephen Frears)

Easily the best rom-com of the past ten years, and one of the best written love stories in recent memory. Based on the London-based book by Nick Hornby, the movie moves to Chicago and shows what a truly great actor John Cusack really is. We were also introduced to Jack Black, who performs an unbelievable rendition of Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get it On."

2001

5. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (Daniel Radcliffe, Alan Rickman, dir. Chris Columbus)

This was a whimsical and wonderful start to a now legendary film series, due to wrap up in 2011. Yeah, the kids aren't the best actors in the world, but the great screenplay and bevy of acclaimed British actors more than makes up for them. Plus, the three leads do get MUCH better.

4. The Mexican (Brad Pitt, Julia Roberts, dir. Gore Verbinski)

This wonderful road trip/mystery/fantasy/crime dramedy was one of the most underrated movies of the past ten years. I thought it was a completely original and fun movie, and one of the only movies where Julia Roberts does something a little different than her usual schtick. Very highly recommended.

3. Monsters Inc. (voices of John Goodman, Billy Crystal, dir. Pete Docter)

Probably the best story Pixar has ever put on screen, mainly for its sheer creativity and originality. Some great moments, both scary and sweet, and the animation is fantastic, especially Sully's hair!

2. Ocean's Eleven (George Clooney, Brad Pitt, dir. Steven Soderbergh)

The original was an excuse for the Rat Pack to hang out in Vegas together. This remake made heist movies cool again, mainly in part to the unbelievably satisfying conclusion. Of course, the ensemble cast is nothing short of fantastic, with everyone turning in so-much-cooler-than-humanly-possible performances.

1. Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Rings (Elijah Wood, Ian McKellen, dir. Peter Jackson)

I can totally see how Hollywood and fans were nervous; the legendary books being turned into movies by who? Some dude who makes horror movies? Well, Peter Jackson launched the second most fantastic movie trilogy of all time (sorry, Star Wars still reigns supreme). Everything in this movie is obviously a labor of love, and the details are appreciated. This was an almost perfect start to a now historical film legacy.

2002

5. Chicago (Renee Zellweger, Catherine Zeta-Jones, dir. Rob Marshall)

Although not spectacular, it did help revive the film musical in the 2000s, so that's saying something. It is a wonderful representation of the stage version, keeping the musical numbers in the head of Roxie Hart instead of aiming for realism. It's all capped off with some fabulous songs and Richard Gere's greatest performance ever.

4. Gangs of New York (Leonardo DiCaprio, Daniel Day-Lewis, dir. Martin Scorsese)

This was the beginning of the Leo/Martin love affair, and was one hell of a start. Although it was probably a very fictionalized account of what actually happened, it makes for some engrossing and brutal entertainment. And seriously, can you really go wrong with Daniel Day-Lewis as a villain?

3. Minority Report (Tom Cruise, Colin Farrell, dir. Steven Spielberg)

One hell of a great sci-fi offering from Spielberg. I love the gritty story, the washed-out look, and the spectacular effects. I was also really impressed with Tom Cruise, who has proven he can be great in the right roles.

2. Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (Viggo Mortensen, Orlando Bloom, dir. Peter Jackson)

See the previous LOTR post. These movies are just plain fantastic. I am very partial to the extended version of this movie, which reveals a little more about Aragorn. Whatever version you watch, it's fantastic.

1. Catch Me If You Can (Leonardo DiCaprio, Tom Hanks, dir. Steven Spielberg)

This was a good year for Spielberg and Leo. Leo was TOTALLY snubbed for an Oscar here, because his performance carries this spectacularly fun character study. Tom Hanks is great as usual, but Leo is the highlight. The whole movie feels effortless, and is irresistably enjoyable. Still shines through as one of Spielberg's greatest.

What movies are YOUR holiday traditions?

2009-11-28T21:36:00.000-08:00

I know we all have some movies that are religiously viewed during the holidays, so I thought it would be fun to share with you some of my favorites. Please chime in with your own as well!

Planes, Trains and Automobiles- It's really hard to think of a Thanksgiving movie besides this one. This was another John Hughes gem, with both Steve Martin and John Candy in top form. I always get choked up at the end of this movie; not for the reunion of the family, but to realize what great things John Candy could still be doing if he were alive today. He was awesome.

Addams Family Values- I think the movie is great, but I always skip to the scene with the Thanksgiving play at the summer camp. Do yourself a favor and track this scene down; you will laugh your butt off.

Gremlins- I clearly remember this movie as one of our first VHS acquisitions. One of my mom's friends illegally copied this using his video camera ( I remember this because there was some footage of us at the end of the movie). Well, we wore that tape out in a big way, 'cause this became required holiday viewing in my childhood home. Lots of people find it quite odd that what is essentially a horror movie is my favorite Christmas movie ever. Well, too bad; this is an awesome movie and I'll be damned if I'm gonna stop the tradition! Lots of great memories with this one.

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation-

"Where you gonna put a tree that big?"

"Bend over and I'll show you."

"You got a lot of nerve talking to me that way!"

"I wasn't talking to you."

If you don't laugh at that exchange, there are two reasons why:

You haven't seen the movie, so get on it!
You have no soul.

Bad Santa- Easily the most foul, tasteless, disgusting holiday movie ever made. However, in the midst of all of the crudeness and debauchery, this movie has a huge heart and a great view of the Christmas spirit. And it's so friggin' funny!

A Christmas Story- The crown jewel of the holiday season. They show it for 24 hours straight every year, and every year I can't wait to see it again! The true Christmas classic.

Jingle All the Way- Just watched this one today, and I still think it's a damn good time. Of course it's unrealistic and silly, but some of the moments are downright timeless. I am a huge fan of the way the song "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" is used. Makes me laugh every time I see it. Plus, it's an important landmark in American film; it's the only time Sinbad was funny. Man, me and Erich had a great movie idea for Sinbad once...

Die Hard- Best. Action. Movie. Ever. And it just so happens to take place during Christmas! Sweet!

It's a Very Merry Muppet Christmas- No this is NOT the Christmas Carol one. This was a made-for-TV movie where the Muppets are trying to save their theater from being bought out. It eventually plays out like It's a Wonderful Life. I think this is infinitely better than A Muppet Christmas Carol, and I am a HUGE Muppet fan. Seek this one out of you can; you won't be disappointed.

Scrooged- The perfect version of A Christmas Carol, IMHO. Bill Murray is at his best as a TV exec who is urged to turn his life around by the three ghosts. It's a clever and very funny take on the traditional story, and I really love the darkness of it all. Some great cameos as well!

So it's definitely an odd list, but I stand by it. Share your favorites as well; I'm always looking to add to the list. Happy Holidays!

Let the taunting begin: I am hopelessly addicted to Twilight

2009-11-23T19:09:00.000-08:00

Okay, let me preface this with some important information:I really like monster movies (zombies are my weakness)

I am totally into vampires (Lost Boys and From Dusk Till Dawn are gospel)
I embrace guilty pleasures (Nothing like Road House and Varsity Blues)
I like to read classic literature (Shakespeare) and pulpy fluff (Spenser is my homeboy)

When Twilight was released in movie form, I had no idea what it was all about. I

t made a buttload of money and I didn't really give it another thought. Then I went to see Star Trek with my dear friend Cindy and she brought Twilight (the book) with her so I could borrow it.

So I read it. It was not good. I'll sum it up for you; Bella Swan loves Edward Cullen, but he's a vampire. All of the dialogue in the book goes something like this:

Bella- "I love you."

Edward- "I don't want to hurt you."

Bella- "I don't care"

Repeat 973 times.

The book ends with a poorly written action sequence and that's that.

So why did I keep reading? Stephenie Meyer has some great ideas about the history and mythology of vamps that have not been explored before, my favorites being the unique take on how vampires are actually created and the fact that that sunlight doesn't kill them, it only makes them shine (which explains why people made up the sunlight stories in the first place).

I was informed that the other books in the series get better, so I kept reading. New Moon introduced werewolves into the mix, and this is by far the coolest part of the entire series. The way the werewolves are created, how they imprint to find their soul mates, even their sole purpose (to kill vampires) just sucked me in entirely. Plus, the character of Jacob Black is great; a teen thrust into a life of servitude as a werewolf. His progression through the last three books was my main reason to keep reading.

Eclipse, the third book in the series, was not as memorable, but did build some good tension at the end, only to be COMPLETELY undone by one of the most poorly written action sequences I have ever read. Seriously, Meyer can not write an action scene to save her life.

Breaking Dawn, the final book in the series, had some very graphic imagery, and that was quite a change from the previous books. Once again, Meyer builds some great tension in this final outing, and I for one love the ending. She really focused on her strengths as a writer and did the unexpected.

In a nutshell, the Twilight Saga is a soap opera with monsters; the ultimate guilty pleasure.

At some point I decided to sit down and watch the movie adaptation of Twilight. It's very easy to understand; you can't make a great movie out of a bad book. There were major problems with this movie. It was very poorly edited, the directing seemed amateurish, and I think Kristen Stewart sucks as Bella. Also, the whole thing just felt rushed to me.

Last night, I went to see New Moon. This was a much more successful outing for Twilight fans

The new director (Chris Weitz) gave the movie an overall dreary look, but added his own stylistic touches to create a much more polished experience. Michael Sheen turns in a scene-stealing performance as Aro, the head of the governing body of vampires. Plus, Taylor Lau

tner is HOT. 'Nuff said, that kid is ripped. It's still a soap opera, but it's a much higher quality one this time around.

So yeah, Twilight is now my number one guilty pleasure. I really like the mythology behind it, it has some interesting characters, and Taylor Lautner is hot. I'm totally owning up to it. Even though my wife thinks I have a vagina...

This can not be serious.....

2009-11-12T04:26:00.000-08:00

All I'm doing is posting a link. I just read this and I am speechless. Tell me what you think...if you can find the words. I sure can't...

http://www.joblo.com/the-monopoly-plot

Looking Back 10 years... The Great Movies of 1999

2009-11-10T07:29:00.000-08:00

I saw some articles floating around recently reflecting on the movies of 1999. As I thought back to this year, I realized there were some truly awesome friggin movies, so I decided to scan some websites and throw in some nostalgic opinions of the notable (and not so notable) films of what seems to be a landmark year for American film. Do the "great" movies hold up ten years later? Here we go!

American Beauty- The winner for Best Picture of 1999... is really just okay. I remember being very taken with it at its time of release, but now it's simply a very good movie, not great. I felt Kevin Spacey deserved the Oscar; he gave a fantastic and darkly comic performance as Lester Burnham. Aside from some truly shocking moments and some great lines, it now merely stands as a good movie.

The Green Mile- I hate manipulative movies, aka movies that purposely tug at the heartstrings of the dumb audience (Patch Adams, Mr. Holland's Opus, Remember the Titans, etc.). The Green Mile was, as many critics described, one of these movies. However, I could not help being completely engrossed in every minute of it. Yeah, it's three hours long, but I felt it used its running time very effectively, integrating all elements that made the book so successful. It has some fantastic performances, most notably those of Michael Clarke Duncan as John Coffey and Doug Hutchinson as Percy. The adaptation keeps everything it needs to from the book, including the whimsical and the deeply disturbing. I've watched this recently, and I still love it. I guess I am just a sucker after all.

The Sixth Sense- Sure, it was impressive and jaw-dropping... the first time (unless your name is Susan Tucker and you ruined the movie for the whole theater within the first five minutes). I stand by the fact that this movie does not play well on repeated viewings. The problem is the entire film stands on the now famous twist, and once you know what that twist is, there's no real reason to re-watch the movie! I am aware there are people who disagree with me, but I just can't sit through this movie anymore. However, I'd take this over Unbreakable any day of the week....

Being John Malkovich- Now here's is one f***** up movie! However, it still manages to stay on its feet, mainly due to the great directing of Spike Jonze. This thing could have derailed badly, but he somehow keeps it grounded in reality; you really believe these people are becoming addicted to being Malkovich. Major props to the titular star for being a part of such a ballsy movie. Still holds up too; every time I see the "multiple Malkovich" scene I laugh my butt off.

South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut- Brilliant in so many ways it's hard to keep track. It's one of the most profane movies ever, using words in ways most people didn't even know existed. It takes one of the most popular animated shows of the time and trumps it every way possible (since the release of the movie, I rarely watch the show anymore because I believe they will never be able to top it). They also decided to make it a musical, and it parodies the classics to perfection (look for obvious nods to Oklahoma!, West Side Story and Les Miserables). I still watch this movie on a regular basis; it still remains one of the funniest movies of the 90s, if not all time.

American Pie- AKA the return of the R-rated teen comedy. What a welcome return it was. Raunchy, profane, sexy, and filled to the brim with Stifler! Still holds up unbelievably well, and makes you wonder where all of those careers went. Think about it; what are the following actors currently doing: Jason Biggs, Shannon Elizabeth, Tara Reid, Chris Klein, Eddie Kaye Thomas, etc.

Three Kings- Put aside the fact that director David O. Russell and George Clooney fought constantly on the set. This is a genre-bending movie that still holds its own against current political satires and war movies alike. This is also the movie where I started taking Mark Wahlberg and Ice Cube seriously as actors; to this point I could only recall them in Fear and Anaconda respectively. You could probably find this in the $5 bin at Walmart now, and it's totally worth it!

The Matrix- Man, here we go again with this one. I've said it before and I'll say it again; THIS MOVIE IS NOT GOOD. Its ideas are good, but its execution sucks. The script is full of big words that not even the writers understand, and the whole muddled mess resolves with the "love conquers all" angle. Seriously, this is stupid s***. I will give it major props for the breakthrough effects, but the rest is utter garbage. I know I'm in the minority here, but having been raised on quality sci-fi like Star Trek, Star Wars, the Twilight Zone, Blade Runner, and V, the Matrix doesn't even come close.

Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace- Okay, it was a disappointment, but think about it; could it ever live up to the standards set for it? Of course not! Take it for what it was, and you'll see it, well, still wasn't very good. Honestly, the only redeeming qualities were Liam Neeson, Ewan MacGregor and the kick-ass lightsaber fight at the end (Duel of the Fates). For a unit in my old Music History class I used to teach, I cut up the end scene to only show the lightsaber fight. It's pretty awesome. Let's all just forget Jar Jar and bratty Anakin. Hey, the prequels can only get better, right (insert sarcastic look here)?

Dogma- I am hopelessly devoted to Kevin Smith. I love all of his movies, and I could listen to him talk for hours (I was actually fortunate enough to attend a recent Q & A session of his, and it was friggin hilarious). If anyone has ever questioned the presence of organized religion in their lives, watch this movie. It will open your eyes, and make you laugh your a** off at the same time. I was raised Catholic, and as I got older religion gradually diminished as a staple in our household. While there are many reasons for this, I think that it's important to understand initially why you are practicing religion instead of just doing it because your parents did it. This movie poses many of those questions, as well as some other interesting ones relating to the devil, revamping Catholicism, and even God himself (or herself). If you have ever questioned your faith, you need to see this. I love it and still watch it on a regular basis. Not every Sunday, but still regularly.

Election- I remember my brother absolutely flipping out about how good this movie was, and he was 100% right. What looked like a cute little teen movie in the vain of John Hughes ends up being a biting character study/political satire. You've never seen Matthew Broderick like this before, and I still believe this is Reese Witherspoon's greatest performance to date (sorry June Carter). Director Alexander Payne didn't really get noticed until the grossly overrated Sideways, but this is really the one he should be remembered for. REALLY funny as well!

Toy Story 2- The debate isn't really about if this is a good movie; it's fantastic. The issue is which is better, this one or the first one? My wife and I just got to see these again in the 3D re-release, and both movies are just so damn good it's nigh impossible to choose. This one deals with the issue of what happens when Andy grows up, and the moral is simple and timeless; enjoy the time you have now. Can't wait to see what number three has in store for us!

The Blair Witch Project- Just like Election, my bro also flipped out over this one. Since he worked at a newspaper fresh out of college, he had the opportunity to see this as a screener months before its release. He did nothing but praise it, and insisted we see it immediately when it was to be released into theaters. I definitely dug the fact that it primarily used the internet to advertise itself, but the movie was a piece of junk. We went opening night with a huge group of friends, and we all were in agreement that it was a worthless experiment in shaky-cam-scriptless-psychological horror. Ugh, what a waste. Would you believe the sequel was even worse?

The Mummy- Dumb fun, simple as that. Spawned a fun sequel, and an absolutely horrible threequel. I wish Brendan Fraser got more work, I love that dude.

Magnolia- I know that many people were very confused and pissed at this movie. I conclude that they just didn't get it. When I saw this movie I went home and immediately broke out a bible and looked up the passages about the plague. What a great and thought-provoking movie! Some fantastic directing by Paul Thomas Anderson, great performances (especially from John C. Reilly and Tom Cruise), and some very effective music by Aimee Mann. A great parable about religion and fate.

Office Space- The greatest cult comedy of all time? Possibly. I was fortunate enough to have seen this in the theaters, and I loved every minute! This is the most quotable comedy of my generation, and it seems to be leaking into the younger crowd as well. I'm really glad this found an audience; it is truly friggin hilarious.

Fight Club- Yeah, I was saving it for last for a reason. What can I really say about this movie? It is one of the best movies I have seen; easily in my top ten. It is a twisted story of addict- meeting addicts, extreme violence and unbridled anarchy. It features the best performance of Brad Pitt's career and a twist ending that will resonate with you for weeks after you've seen it. Unlike the Sixth Sense, Fight Club doesn't stake its entire running time on the twist; there is a whole lot to see on multiple viewings. After I saw it in the theater with my friends, we went out to eat and we seriously did not speak for twenty minutes. Once we finally spoke, we couldn't shut up about it for months. It is a must-see for any movie-goer; it is an utterly brilliant film.

Wow, I went on a bit long there, didn't I? Well, chime in damn it! Do you agree? Disagree? Did I miss any? Let me know what you think. Thanks for reading!

Quick Movie Update... for those who care

2009-11-01T19:30:00.000-08:00

I have watched only two movies of note in the past few weeks, but I have to talk about them.

The first one was Trick R' Treat. This was an unbelievably fun horror anthology film in the spirit of Creepshow and Tales from the Crypt. I had a giddy grin on my face for the entire running time. It was gory, it was scary, it was funny, and it perfectly captures the spirit of Halloween.

What bugs me is the fact that all of these crappy PG-13 horror wannabes are making a killing at the box office because of the stupid teenage crowd, yet a beautifully shot and tightly written horror blast like this never even MADE IT INTO THE THEATERS!

It's cool though; I see this movie gathering a huge following on DVD. Plus, the director has already stated he'll be making a sequel. If you even remotely like horror movies, do yourself a favor and seek this one out.

The other movie I finished watching about ten minutes ago. It was the movie Knowing, starring Nicolas Cage. It started out promising, teasing us with the premonition of numbers predicting future disasters and maybe even the end of the world. The first half was intriguing and disturbing. However, it was grossly apparent the writers had NO IDEA how to end it. I was laughing heartily through the last 20 minutes, and completely lost it with the last shot of the movie. Throw in some truly horrible acting and an atrocious score and you have one of the worst movies of the year by far. I love how an ending can ruin a whole movie!

Hopefully I'll be able to share more reviews soon!

Some great Halloween Horror Flicks...

2009-10-11T19:52:00.000-07:00

When I used to teach classroom music in high school, there was always one day of one month where all would stop and I would show a movie. This movie had nothing to do with music, nor with anything remotely relating to high school. I showed it simply because I'm sick of teenagers calling dreck like "When a Stranger Calls" or the pitiful remake of "Prom Night" scary movies. So what did I do? I showed one of the scariest (if not THE scariest) horror movie ever made:

The thing that always made me smile was, for the most part, none of these kids had ever seen this movie. Heck, most of them had never even HEARD of it. However, watching these high school kids watch this movie for the first time was something to behold. Hearing the girls squeal at the ghosts flying from the TV into the wall; hearing the collective moans as the scientist rips his own face off; watching a whole new generation of kids become petrified of clowns. It always put a smile on my face and reminded me of something; I love horror movies.

So, in honor of the season, I'm taking it upon myself to watch some of my favorites, as well as some new ones that have garnered some good buzz.

First on the list is one of the movies that mildly scarred me as a child, but I eventually got over my fear of it. Creepshow is an unbelievably fun and campy horror flick, with some nice gore and genuine creepy moments peppered throughout. It is an anthology film based off the classic horror comics from the 50's and 60's. This was a pretty big deal to horror fanatics, mainly because it was written by Stephen King and directed by zombie master George A. Romero.

The five stories are all very memorable. The first centers around a vengeful family patriarch rising from the dead to get some cake (I'm totally serious). Look for a super-young Ed Harris in this story.

The second is about a hillbilly who finds a meteor which leads to some extreme plant growth. Stephen King is actually the only actor in this story, and it pretty much explains why he doesn't act too much. However, the story s very humorous and has a great, if somewhat unexpectedly depressing, ending.

The third story is a revenge tale about a crazy dude (played by Leslie Nielsen) who sets out to kill his unfaithful wife and her lover (played by Ted Danson). The way he does it is pretty icky, but his deeds do not go unpunished. The end result is actually one of the reasons this movie scared me as a kid. Not anymore though, but man, I was scarred for a while.

The fourth story takes place at university where a professor finds a 150-year-old crate containing a specimen from and arctic expedition. This particular segment perfectly balanced the humor, gore and scares, probably better than any of the other stories. Special mention to Adrienne Barbeau as the wife from hell (just call her Billy, everyone does).

The final segment is classic Stephen King storytelling, with some great character development and some of the creepiest stuff ever put on screen. I don't want to give anything away, but I guarantee you'll be freaked out in a big way.

Creepshow holds up surprisingly well (it's 27 years old), and is highly recommended to get you into the Halloween spirit. Just know that it's meant to be a fun and campy experience, not a flat out scary one.

Anyone want to share your favorite scary movie? Do you have any suggestions for some viewing material? I'll be back periodically throughout the month with some more horror movie reviews. Until then, here's to a creepy October!

The Beatles: Rock Band has arrived...

2009-09-09T19:14:00.000-07:00

I just had a weird experience; one that I've never had playing a video game before. My wife and I played through the first three venues of The Beatles: Rock Band. After we finished playing I Feel Fine in Shea Stadium, it was 10pm and time to go to bed. As she was rolling up the guitar strap and putting the plastic Gibson away, I just sat there, listening to the menu music. I thought to myself, "I could play this game all night and still come back for more tomorrow." I didn't move; I was actually DEPRESSED I had to stop playing. This should exemplify to you the greatness of this game; truly the crown jewel of all music games.

The developers have crafted a love letter to the band and fans alike. The presentation is beyond beautiful; if you're not amazed by the opening cinema, you don't have one artistic bone in your body. Each chapter is introduced by an abstract series of photos and clips, accompanied by the appropriate music for the venue. Harmonix has done everything right; it is truly a Beatles fan's wet dream.

I won't even comment about the music, but it's easy to say it sounds better than it ever has before. I stand by the fact that if you don't enjoy at least one Beatles tune, you are musically inept and should not own a radio.

I can't say much more. I'm still dumbfounded at how good it actually is. I'm also still dumbfounded that it actually came out; a project of this magnitude had failure written all over it, but it had the backing of Paul and Ringo! Thank goodness! The Beatles: Rock Band triumphs over any music game before it, and shouldn't have much trouble dominating anything that comes after it. It is an existential joyride through the career of the greatest rock band of all time.

Just go and buy it.

The Summer Movies of 2009

2009-09-07T18:33:00.000-07:00

Although the majority of my summer was spent with James Bond, I still got to the theater to see a good amount of the summer blockbusters. Here are some thoughts on the ones I saw, in chronological order.

Star Trek: I already sang the praises of this movie in a previous post, but damn, it was AWESOME. The perfect reboot, and I can't wait to see where they go with the sequel!

9.5/10

Up: Once again, Pixar delivers an instant classic. Such deep characters and a great story, not to mention some really friggin funny dogs! Plus, it looked great in 3D.

9/10

Transformers: Rise of the Fallen: If you liked the original, you'll like this one. Sure, it's loud, obnoxious, vulgar, and visually offensive, but Michael Bay sure knows how to direct an action flick. Empty fun.

6/10

Public Enemies: Depp. Bale. Gangsters. Can you really go wrong? Well, sorta. It wasn't bad, just very standard. It really should have been better than it was. Not bad, but it wasn't memorable.

7/10

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince: Sorry, I was disappointed in this one as well. Too much was changed from the book, and too much time was spent on horny teenagers instead of, you know, magic. On the plus side, there were some inspired moments of direction and the actors were better than they have ever been. Here's hoping for a great conclusion!

7.5/10

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra: Turn off your brain and enjoy this empty shell of a movie. I truly appreciated that the director knew exactly what he was making. He was good to the fans and made it quick. Pretend you're twelve and enjoy.

6/10

District 9: This was one hell of a sci-fi ride. Action-packed, gore-filled, and chock full of political undertones. This is easily one of the best movies of the year. It's so great to see sci-fi becoming popular again.

9/10

Inglourious Basterds: Tarantino crafts yet another near perfect movie. It might as well have been called "Quentin F***s with World War II." So far, this is the best movie I have seen all year. Every performance was fantastic, with Oscar-worthy turns from Brad Pitt, Christoph Waltz and Melanie Laurent. An absolute must-see for Tarantino fans and anyone who appreciates good movies. GO NOW!

10/10

There was some good stuff this summer. The fall looks kinda bland, but I think we might have some surprises (Where the Wild Things Are looks promising, as does The Men Who Stare at Goats). I'll probably be back soon with my thought on the newest rhythm games out there; Guitar Hero 5 and The Beatles: Rock Band!

I'm watching Pulp Fiction again...

2009-08-14T19:41:00.001-07:00

I have to say how much I love this movie, and how much it meant to me as a movie fan. Hell, I even grew my hair out because of this movie! The following is an excerpt from a journal I was keeping after my son was born. It chronicles the importance of this movie and Tarantino in general, and also talks about the first day of my wife in active labor. Enjoy.

GRINDHOUSE, A BABY SHOWER, AND EASTER SUNDAY:

THE TALE OF OUR WEEKEND ABOUT TOWN

I need to emphasize again how wrong the media has been in portraying pregnancy. You’ve seen those movies where the chick’s in the cab going to the hospital in labor? Let me tell you something; if a woman lets it get that bad, then she shouldn’t be having a kid because she’s a fucking idiot. From what I have gathered, labor pains hurt WAY before the kid comes out. Such was the case for the weekend of April 6.

Let me preface this by saying I am a film geek. I own 500+ titles on DVD, and I have no plans on stopping anytime soon. Going to the movies was an every weekend event for our group of friends (before said child, more on that later). In college, my roommates and I went every Thursday night religiously. We saw some great stuff, and even more shitters. I reviewed movies for the college newspaper. I love film.

I could say it all started by being exposed to film at a very young age, but I don’t really recall most of those movies. I do recall seeing E.T. multiple times in the theaters, and always wondering why my mom and brother cried at the end (watching it now years later, I sob like a little girl every time). I remember watching The Exorcist and having nightmares for two weeks (I was six at the time, and I didn’t watch it again until I was 21 when they re-released it in the theaters. It still scared the shit out of me). Even with all of these great movies, I know when it all really started.

1994. Some of the greatest movies of my generation were released in the 90s, and ’94 was probably the best year of the decade. The Shawshank Redemption, Forrest Gump (overrated but still okay), True Lies; all released in 1994. However, there was one film that definitely stood out from the rest. It dared to destroy the typical three act structure by having the events of the movie occur out of chronological order. It dealt with drug overdoses, htimen, boxers, and sodomy. This is the film that launched me into geekdom. This movie was Pulp Fiction.

I saw this one night with my brother and two of his friends. I didn’t know what to expect; I’d only seen it featured a few magazine covers. What I experienced was a completely unique film experience I had never even imagined could be possible. I sat there for two hours and forty minutes with my mouth agape and my brain on overdrive. To that point, it was the greatest movie-going experience of my life. I proceeded to see it twice more in the theater, exposing as many people as possible to this masterpiece. A friend of mine even made me a tape of a Japanese bootleg of the movie so I could see it months before it would come out on video (another friend of mine borrowed the tape and recorded old episodes of Seinfeld over it. Deep down, I still haven’t forgiven him). The movie was co-written and directed by a second-time filmmaker named Quentin Tarantino.

From that point on, I followed everything Quentin did, from his next movies to his TV shows (he directed an episode of ER and an episode of CSI). 12 years later, he announced that he and his long time friend (and filmmaker) Robert Rodriguez were going to combine forces and make Grindhouse, which was to be a throwback to the pulpy horror gems of the seventies. Sounded great already, but there was more. The two movies were to be shown back to back, and there were going to be fake trailers in between the movies. All of this was to clock in at about three hours and fifteen minutes.

I promptly wet my pants and began counting the days. This was August of 2006.

I keep on my movie news very religiously, so I kept a close eye on the progress of Grindhouse. Shortly after I heard that Kurt Russell was going to be the star of Quentin Tarantino’s film Death Proof, I found out something else. The due date of my first child. April 5, 2007. The release date of Grindhouse. You have got to be kidding me.

Yeah, I know it’s just a movie, but it was more to me. These are two of my favorite directors crafting movies that are meant to be laughably bad. I’m not completely sure, but I believe my first words after finding out the due date were “Maybe it’ll be late so we can see Grindhouse.” CJ wasn’t happy, I’m sure.

The pregnancy happened and the due date did not change. My anticipation grew more and more. More of the cast started to surface. Pictures of RoseMcGowan with a machine gun for a leg started to pop up on the internet. Trailers started to appear. CJ kept getting bigger. Would I eventually have to face the reality that these two events were going to occur on the same day? I can’t handle it! Something inside of me knew I had to see Grindhouse in the theaters. I didn’t know why, I just knew I had to. As dumb as it sounds, I was actually starting to worry that I would not see this movie. Even dumber still, I was getting pissed off about it.

April finally came, and Friday the 5^th was upon me. We had made the plans; dinner at Max and Erma’s, then Grindhouse at 7:30pm. CJ had already gone on maternity leave, but I was still working. I came home on Friday, and CJ told me she was feeling fine, but there were some minor contractions. She had been timing them all day, and they were far apart. She also said the pain was not unbearable.

**I just realized I never really spoke about the childbirth classes we attended. Well, there really isn’t too much to discuss. We had an overly cheery teacher, some nice couples, and a really annoying couple. We watched some graphic videos, learned how to pack a bag, and explored comfortable breathing positions for the expectant mother. Oh, and we also learned that formula is the devil from the psychos at La Leche, a pro breast feeding group. Seriously, this guest speaker lady was the equivalent of middle ages Roman Catholicism. Just as a side note, formula is NOT the devil.**

Being the good and concerned husband, I asked if she wanted to stay home, but she declined. SWEET! We had a great dinner with friends, but CJ was noticeably uncomfortable throughout the meal. She assured me she was fine, and we then proceeded to the theater. It was finally time.

Let me briefly introduce you to the people that attended this momentous event with me and CJ, because I’m sure most of them will pop up later. The rundown (cue People’s Court music):

Jeff- My best friend since sixth grade (about 18 years if you’re counting)

Colin- My brother, who is the man

Steve- My college roommate for three years, and one hell of a guy

Jill- His girlfriend at the time (not anymore)

From the first fake trailer (Machete, starring Danny Trejo), the movie was nonstop joy for film geeks. The theater was about ¾ full, but everyone was on board. We all laughed at the same spots, cheered at the same spots; it was true bliss for a dork like me. I’d like to say I was taking notice of CJ throughout the movie to see how she was doing, but I definitely was not. I was absorbed and loving every minute.

After the first movie (Planet Terror) had ended, the fake trailers started up. At this point, CJ got up to go to the bathroom. It wasn’t anything out of the ordinary; you pee a lot when you’re pregnant. Plus, the movie’s three hours plus. The crowd reveled in the trailers; we all screamed in pain during a scene in the Thanksgiving trailer. That moment was probably the greatest one of the night; track down that trailer and you will see what I mean (no need to; here's the link). Trust me, you WILL know. We laughed at the trailer simply titled Don’t. We lost it when Nicolas Cage popped up as Fu Manchu in the trailer called Werewolf Women of the SS. Ten minutes of bliss which led into Death Proof. I looked to my left. Oh crap, my wife is still in the bathroom.

I jumped out of my seat and ran to the bathrooms. Now, I am aware that I couldn’t actually do anything when I got to the bathrooms, but I went nonetheless. They may let me in if my wife is having a baby in the middle of the floor, but the chances of that were slim to none. Or were they? This was my first official freakout. I got to the bathrooms and came to the realization that I could do absolutely nothing to check on her. So I ran back into the theater to get Jill. Luckily, she was on her way out to check on CJ. I then stood outside of the women’s room for three minutes waiting to see if my wife was okay. She and Jill came out and, of course, CJ was fine. She just needed to get up and walk around. No big deal. Feeling stupid but relieved, I went back in and continued my heavenly escape.

When the movie finally ended, I was seriously paralyzed with joy. The end of Death Proof was so satisfying and so hilarious, I couldn’t get the stupid smile off of my face. CJ leaned into me as I stared at the screen listening to April March’s “Chick Habit” and said it was about time to go to the hospital.

HOLY CRAP.

We said our goodbyes to our friends, and they all wished us luck. It was weird. Both CJ and I were relatively calm, like we were really ready to do this. We stopped home and got our bags, let the dog out, called the doctor, and we were on our way to the hospital.

The car ride was fine, nothing like the movies would have you believe. Calm and comfortable, just like we were trying to be. We proceeded to our designated area in the hospital, and got ourselves checked in and into a room. Shortly after we arrived, a nurse came in and checked CJ’s dilation status. The nurse said CJ was about two centimeters, which wasn’t a lot. Nonetheless, we made our way into a room and tried to relax. Shortly after we got settled, CJ’s mom Patty arrived. Patty and I in the delivery room; those were CJ’s wishes. As CJ laid in her bed being monitored, another nurse came in and gave us some interesting news. CJ’s contractions were not far enough apart, and she was not showing enough pain to really indicate active labor.

WE WERE TOLD TO GO HOME.

It was about 1:00am and the nurse was telling us to pack up our stuff and come back when she was in real pain. Was this really happening? Did we really have to go home after already being here for an hour? Needless to say, I was pretty pissed off. So we went home, and my poor wife suffered through a painful night of virtually no sleep. Me? I slept soundly and dreamed of the glory that was Grindhouse.

Summer of Bond- Everything or Nothing (2004)

2009-08-10T20:41:00.000-07:00

On an exciting note, I am updating this from my new Mac Book Pro. Totally sweet.

Anyway, some of you Bond aficionados may be asking yourselves, "What the hell is Everything or Nothing?" Well, it's a PlayStation 2 game released in 2004 that is meant to act as another entry into the James Bond franchise. Let me tell you, Electronic Arts poured some serious money into this game. It really could stand alone as its own movie (it would be very reminiscent of Die Another Day, but it could work).

Here's why you can tell this was expensive. First, they got the voice and likeness of Pierce Brosnsn as James Bond. Second, they did the same with an all-star cast, including Willem Dafoe, Heidi Klum, John Cleese, Judi Dench, Richard Kiel, and Shannon Elizabeth. Third, it's really pretty and plays extremely well.

The story is forgettable; a mad scientist named Diavolo (Dafoe) invents Nanobot technology which he intends on using to take over the world. Bond visits locales such as Italy, New Orleans, Peru, and others.

The game is also full of crazy cool gadgets like the remote controlled explosive Q-Spiders, a rappel gun which lets you climb any smooth surface, and a nano suit which renders you invisible.

The main problem I had with the game is lack of checkpoints. Some of these levels are long, and having to start them completely over again and again gets very monotonous and frustrating (so much so that I finally gave up on the last level; I almost broke my TV).

Overall, it's cool to see all of the players return for a video game, and it's pretty fun to boot. It ain't no Goldeneye, but what is?

Speaking of, I'm still working my way through the aforementioned classic, and I just started From Russia With Love, which has Sean Connery reprising his role as James Bond...in video game form! See ya soon!

Summer of Bond- The Unofficial Bond Awards!!!

2009-08-04T21:12:00.001-07:00

Roll out the red carpet folks, here are the Unofficial Bond Awards, brought to you by me, the dorky schlub who sat on his ass and watched all of the Bond films! Before we get to the awards, I'd like to present you with some statistics:

Number of official Bond Films: 22

Number of years Bond Films have been produced: 47

Number of actors who have portrayed James Bond: 6

Total time span (in days) it took me to watch all 22 Bond films: 32

With that, here are the awards!

Best Bond Girl- Tracy Di Vincenzo from On Her Majesty's Secret Service

This was the first time a Bond girl was presented as smart AND sexy. Heck, she could even fight! She was good enough for Bond to marry, but got whacked by Blofeld hours later.

Runner-up: Vesper Lynd from Casino Royale

Worst Bond Girl- Holly Goodhead from Moonraker

Great name, horrible actress. Every line was delivered with that "I could care less" demeanor, and it brought an already average film.

Runner-up: Christmas Jones from The World is Not Enough

Best Ski Chase- The Living Daylights

Ski chases are the most overused action sequences in Bond movies, but they have been pretty cool. The best was the Living Daylights, because Bond and the girl escape downhill on a cello case, and Bond uses the cello as a rudder. Awesome!

Runner-up: The World is Not Enough

Best Action Scene- Chase through Madagascar from Casino Royale

I have seen that scene over ten times now, and it leaves me breathless every time. Not to mention almost all of it is done with legit stunt work and no wires. Nothing really even comes close here!

Runner-up: The Bond/Grant train fight from From Russia With Love

Worst Action Scene- The underwater fight from Thunderball

I don't hide my absolute disgust for this movie, and this fight had a lot to do with my feelings. Once again, you can only make it interesting for so long. GET ON WITH IT!

Runner-up: The car chase on the glacier in Die Another Day

Best Theme Song- Live and Let Die by Paul McCartney and Wings

Crappy movie, fantastic theme song. Stands the test of time as well. Sir Paul rules!

Runner-up: A View To a Kill by Duran Duran

Worst Theme Song- All Time High by Rita Coolidge

The only thing that would have made it worse would have been to actually call the song Octopussy.

Runner-up: Moonraker by Shirley Bassey

Best Opening Credit Sequence- Die Another Day

Crappy movie, but the opening credits have Bond being tortured, and there are some really cool CGI chicks put in. I dug it.

Runner-up: Quantum of Solace

Best Main Villain- Auric Goldfinger from Goldfinger

Was there any competition? Blofeld is faceless and wussy, but Goldfinger isn't afraid to get into his work. Screw stealing the gold from Fort Knox, let's blow it up instead! Great character.

Runner-up: Franz Sanchez from License to Kill

Worst Main Villain- Elliott Carver from Tomorrow Never Dies

World domination through newsprint media. Wow, I'm intimidated.

Runner-up: Gustav Graves from Die Another Day

Best Supporting Villain- Oddjob from Goldfinger

Come on, does anyone really come close? The silent asian killer who deals death with his hat? And can only be killed withe electricity? Awesome!

Runner-up: Jaws from The Spy Who Loved Me and Moonraker

Best Gadget- The Bomb Pen from Goldeneye

I picked this mainly because the scene in which it is used it totally cool. Boris keeps clicking it and everyone loses track of how times... except Bond of course. It eventually blows up the whole joint.

Runner-up: The jetpack from You Only Live Twice

Best Car- Aston Martin V8 from The Living Daylights

The amount of stuff crammed into this car is mind boggling, and most of it is used as well! Great chase scene through the snow!

Runner-up: Lotus Espirit (aka Wet Nellie) from The Spy Who Loved Me

Best Pun- "I thought Christmas only comes once a year." from The World is Not Enough

Taken out of context it's not that bad. But when you know he is in bed with Christmas Jones...

Runner-up: "Shocking." from Goldfinger, after he throws a henchmen and a toaster into a tub.

Best Supporting Good Guy- Felix Leiter

Good old reliable Felix. After Bond abuse their friendship so many times, the sucker keeps coming back to help (in the form of many different actors as well). What happens to him after all of this? He gets eaten by sharks on his wedding day, and still lives. Poor Felix...

Runner-up: Quarrell from Dr. No

If any of you have suggestions for more categories, please put them up and I'll add them to the list. Thanks! Coming soon will be a review for the Bond game Everything or Nothing. See ya then!

Summer of Bond- The Ranked list: Worst to Best Bond

2009-08-04T20:41:00.000-07:00

If you're too lazy to go back and read all of my reviews, here's an easy guide for you. I have ranked all 22 Bond movies from worst to best in my opinion. How did your favorites fare? Here we go!

22. Die Another Day (2002)

21. Thunderball (1965)

20. Live and Let Die (1973)

19. A View To a Kill (1985)

18. Octopussy (1983)

17. Tomorrow Never Dies (1997)

16. Moonraker (1979)

15. On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1969)

14. The Man With the Golden Gun (1974)

13. You Only Live Twice (1967)

12. Dr. No (1962)

11. Goldeneye (1995)

10. License To Kill (1989)

9. For Your Eyes Only (1981)

8. Quantum of Solace (2008)

7. The World is Not Enough (1999)

6. Diamonds are Forever (1971)

5. The Spy Who Loved Me (1977)

4. The Living Daylights (1987)

3. Goldfinger (1964)

2. From Russia With Love (1963)

1. Casino Royale (2006)

There it is folks; go update your Netfilx queues accordingly. See you soon with the Unofficial Bond Awards!

Summer of Bond #22- Quantum of Solace (2008)

2009-08-04T20:20:00.000-07:00

Daniel Craig is back as 007. Does his sophomore effort live up to the best Bond movie ever? No, but its still good.

The Good- These action sequences with Daniel Craig are unbelievable! We have the full Bond action checklist this time around, complete with foot chase, boat chase, car chase, plane chase, and exploding building. Special mention to the foot chase. Awesome.

Daniel Craig is still the best Bond, and this time around he is pissed off. He is out for vengeance for those who killed Vesper. He loses more people and realizes he can trust no one. Craig plays it perfectly natural and effortless with no forced emotion It's cool; this is the first time we have a direct sequel in the Bond franchise.

I like how they are building up this network of baddies that has been the antagonist for the past two movies. They reveal the name of the organization to be Quantum, but I smell a little SPECTRE coming on...

Giancarlo Giannini and Jeffrey Wright return as Mathis and Felix respectively, and both shine in their relatively small roles.

The Bad- The story is not as solid this time around; it definitely feels like a tacked-on sequel to Casino Royale.

There is some blatantly obvious CGI happening in this movie. Not like DAD bad, but noticeable.

My biggest problem with the movie is the director, Marc Forster. I have liked most of his movies, but he was the wrong choice for a Bond movie. Now, I'm not talking about the shaky cam and quick cuts; I have no problem with that style of direction. I'm talking about the unnecessarily artsy shots throughout. He does nothing to create suspense, and I think his wanna-be-art-house style takes away from the film as a whole. There has been a tried-and-true feel to the Bond films, good or bad. This does not have that feel.

Extremely enjoyable and exciting, but inappropriate directing bring this one down. No worries though, I'll be first in line for the next installment!

Bond-O-Meter Rating- 7/10

Well folks, it's all over. It's been a great experience viewing all of these movies, no matter how good or bad they were. I loved discovering new Bonds and reconnecting with old ones. I loved the feedback I got from the loyal followers. Most of all, I just love watching movies, especially with my wife, who viewed almost all of these with me. Just to let you know, I'll be doing this again soon with another franchise, one that will be rebooted in 2010. Here's a hint: "three, four, better lock your door...."

Stay tuned, I'm in the process of putting together my ranked list and a special Bond Awards blog. It should be a fun way to wrap it all up. See ya soon!